Help Me Help This Kaur

[Guest A Kaur Loves Me]

I have been reading this forum for a while now and all i see here is that even amritdharis indulge in unacceptable activities esp. involving attachment and lust. This girl is an amritdhari and wants to have a serious relationship with me. I mean aren't parents supposed to find the right match for amritdharis ? She is the one who told me this and she is the one who proposed me. I am confused now.

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I have my own question now

What if one's thinking doesn't match with the person our parents find for us ?

What if he/she hasn't got proper schooling ?

So is being a true gursikh the only thing that should be considered before getting married ?

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Please don't mix the abobe questions. Give a separate answer for each part.

[Guest **]

You are the one that will be spending the rest of your life with her, if someones ideas dont match yours ( remember it is never 100%) then do you think you can live with very big differences standing between you two??

Proper schooling doesnt matter, does she have a stable job that you think would provide you guys (with your earnings included) a decent living?

dont look at material things, in the end, your bond and love is what will determine the success of your marriage.

Also, if you dont feel that its right, make sure you tell her because you dont want to marry someone just because you were flattered they asked.

It would be unfair to you AND her.

Take your time if you need to and TELL her that, but make sure your heart is in it too, if you agree then you guys can talk to your parents if you are at the right age! Communication is key, if you arent interested or waiting to see if you will eventually become interested, do her a favour and tell her you're not ready, nobody likes to be lead on and this will only make her hate you! if you tell her that you dont feel the same way and didnt want to lead her on, it will be much better!

See where you are at, if you agree, then you guys can take the next step (if you are at the right age) and talk to the parents..

Good luck with everything!

[Guest *]

Q1 - Sometimes, even the teacher needs to be taught. If this Kaur herself told you in the past that parents should be involved, you can now remind her of that and avoid involving yourself in any relationship mess. The best way to avoid this type of stuff is to avoid being close to the opposite gender in the first place. People generally don't propose to complete strangers

Q2 - If the thinking of the person your parents choose doesn't match yours...maybe tell your parents that you don't think it's such a good match and have them act on it. If you ended up marrying such a person, there's no reason why it still couldn't work out well if you both follow and devote yourselves to Gurmat.

Q3 - "Proper schooling" and education isn't all that important. I know lots of parreyo-likheyo people who are complete fools. A degree doesn't guarantee anything and doesn't mean anything in terms of who and what you really are. I wouldn't place much weight on formal education. A person's jeevan is what counts and I'd consider that wayyyy above all else.

[Bored]

do we have to write a essay?

[Khalsa4ever]

Waheguroo jee ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo jee kee Fateh!

One answer. Decide whats best for yourself. The only thing you have to remember is that as an amritdhari gursikh, you have to make sure that whoever you end up with shares your beliefs, your thoughts, your ideas. It shouldn't matter WHO approaches you.

Waheguroo jee ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo jee kee Fateh!