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Guest London_Singhni

I'm at the age of marriage now and parents have introduced me to a few Singhs. So far all the ones that I have met, I have to admit I have not found them even remotely attractive. I must sound so superficial but you do have to find your potential partner attractive in order to be with them. As well not finding any of them attractive, I have not really hit it off with any of them either.

My parents did show me pictures of a few singhs too and they I did find attractive and agreed to meet. Through the bachole I found out they had asked for a picture of me, so I obliged. Now I am a turban wearing Singhni, never ever did I think that this was going to be an issue for amritdari singhs, but how wrong was I? I never heard back from any of those Singhs. They must have taken one look at my picture and thought...nope! Now I'm not going to blow my own trumpet too much but I would say that I'm quite an attractive girl. I've been told I am really pretty. So I didn't think it was because they found me unattractive. But what I heard from a friend of mine, who happened to know one of the singhs vaguely, was that that particular singh preferred non-dastaar wearing girls. I have since found out that he is engaged to a non amritdari and non kesdari girl!!!

This had got me thinking, could the other singhs have been put off by the fact that I wear a dastaar. Personally, I know of no other reason as to why they wouldn't even consider me. If only they got to know me then maybe they would have found out that I'm very chilled out girl and fun-loving. But it seems they just saw my dastaar and thought no.

Now on the other side of the coin. I seem to find that I do attract a lot 'monea' Sikhs and the reason why they seem to be attracted is due to my dastaar and personality. In fact not only sikhs but I seem to attract a lot of kale too. This I find rather weird and strange. These people are not suppose to find me attractive but do so. I've had monea sikhs and kale trying to chat me up whilst I am at the gym. Obviously I don't give me them any indication that I'm interested and tell them I just want to remain friends. But still I find this strange. Singhs prefer girls without a dastaar and monea sikhs prefer the fact that I wear a dastaar.

I have seen a growing number of Singhs myself who are either married or engaged to not only non amritdari girls but to girls who cut their hair. What is the cue with that?

Now I am stuck. No way am I going to stop wearing my dastaar esp not for a guy. All the singhs I am introduced to and are willing to accept my dastaar (to date) I have not been attracted and interested in. Monea sikhs who are interested in me I can't even consider due to the fact we will live two different lives. And I also find that I get on quite well with the monea sikhs too.

So what do I do?

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WHY does the fact that they are not 'attractive' have anything to do with it.

Who are 'we' to judge who is 'attractive' and who is not.

Penji, i do not mean to offend, but if they are not accepting you cos of your dastaar, you are basically following exactly what they are doing, by not accepting singhs cos of the way they look, cos they appear to be 'unattracitive'

EVERYONE is BEAUTIFUL, everything is a part of the force, Infact people in KHALSA roop, are REALLY BEAUTIFUL, even if they're an amritdhari cyclopse with no legs.

However, what you are suggesting in your post, seems to be hypocritical.

I am really sorry if i offended you, that was not my intension. and i'm really sorry if i misunderstood and misjudged by what you meant by your post, i'm stupid.

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Guest confused
So far all the ones that I have met, I have to admit I have not found them even remotely attractive. I must sound so superficial but you do have to find your potential partner attractive in order to be with them. As well not finding any of them attractive, I have not really hit it off with any of them either.

i don't understand what your point is?? On one hand you say 'singhs' don't want to marrry bibis with dastaars, but look at you...jugding singhs on looks. what's up with that? is that what your father guru sahib told you to do? judge his singh on his looks rather than his rehat, bani, seva. it's sickening how u complain that singhs don't want to marry a singhni but on the same level you don't want to m arry singh coz they don't look 'attractive' :)

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if you think about it, maybe she is doing something along the same lines as those singhs who want girls without keski, but then again it is importent you are attracted to you partner in some way, some sort of attraction or the very least you MUST click. Marriage isnt realy a joke and marrying someone you dont click with is just going to mess your marriage up unless both of you dont like talking at all

Penji i think you should wait for a while and dont give up hope. No one ever said marriage or finding a rishta is easy. Sometimes the most patient ones are the ones rewarded at the highest

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those 'attractive' guys r doing the same thing YOU did to the "unattractive one' penji one doesnt look at attractivnees one looks at personality. im disgusted and ur amritdasri wearing a dasraar? wow. yeah..um..ok!..u have to much ego telling poeple your beautiful as well.wow im out

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those 'attractive' guys r doing the same thing YOU did to the "unattractive one' penji one doesnt look at attractivnees one looks at personality. im disgusted and ur amritdasri wearing a dasraar? wow. yeah..um..ok!..u have to much ego telling poeple your beautiful as well.wow im out

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Guest Guest
I'm at the age of marriage now and parents have introduced me to a few Singhs. So far all the ones that I have met, I have to admit I have not found them even remotely attractive. I must sound so superficial but you do have to find your potential partner attractive in order to be with them. As well not finding any of them attractive, I have not really hit it off with any of them either.

My parents did show me pictures of a few singhs too and they I did find attractive and agreed to meet. Through the bachole I found out they had asked for a picture of me, so I obliged. Now I am a turban wearing Singhni, never ever did I think that this was going to be an issue for amritdari singhs, but how wrong was I? I never heard back from any of those Singhs. They must have taken one look at my picture and thought...nope! Now I'm not going to blow my own trumpet too much but I would say that I'm quite an attractive girl. I've been told I am really pretty. So I didn't think it was because they found me unattractive. But what I heard from a friend of mine, who happened to know one of the singhs vaguely, was that that particular singh preferred non-dastaar wearing girls. I have since found out that he is engaged to a non amritdari and non kesdari girl!!!

This had got me thinking, could the other singhs have been put off by the fact that I wear a dastaar. Personally, I know of no other reason as to why they wouldn't even consider me. If only they got to know me then maybe they would have found out that I'm very chilled out girl and fun-loving. But it seems they just saw my dastaar and thought no.

Now on the other side of the coin. I seem to find that I do attract a lot 'monea' Sikhs and the reason why they seem to be attracted is due to my dastaar and personality. In fact not only sikhs but I seem to attract a lot of kale too. This I find rather weird and strange. These people are not suppose to find me attractive but do so. I've had monea sikhs and kale trying to chat me up whilst I am at the gym. Obviously I don't give me them any indication that I'm interested and tell them I just want to remain friends. But still I find this strange. Singhs prefer girls without a dastaar and monea sikhs prefer the fact that I wear a dastaar.

I have seen a growing number of Singhs myself who are either married or engaged to not only non amritdari girls but to girls who cut their hair. What is the cue with that?

Now I am stuck. No way am I going to stop wearing my dastaar esp not for a guy. All the singhs I am introduced to and are willing to accept my dastaar (to date) I have not been attracted and interested in. Monea sikhs who are interested in me I can't even consider due to the fact we will live two different lives. And I also find that I get on quite well with the monea sikhs too.

So what do I do?

....since you're from London i know what you're talking about. Londoners are a bit strange people.

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Guest Guest
WHY does the fact that they are not 'attractive' have anything to do with it.

Who are 'we' to judge who is 'attractive' and who is not.

Penji, i do not mean to offend, but if they are not accepting you cos of your dastaar, you are basically following exactly what they are doing, by not accepting singhs cos of the way they look, cos they appear to be 'unattracitive'

EVERYONE is BEAUTIFUL, everything is a part of the force, Infact people in KHALSA roop, are REALLY BEAUTIFUL, even if they're an amritdhari cyclopse with no legs.

However, what you are suggesting in your post, seems to be hypocritical.

I am really sorry if i offended you, that was not my intension. and i'm really sorry if i misunderstood and misjudged by what you meant by your post, i'm stupid.

Bhaji,

You have not offended me but it is a lot easier to say that I should find all amritari sikhs attractive, but that really is not the case. This is the person I'm going to spend he rest of my life, someone with whom I am going to pro-create with and personally I can't do that someone with whom I find unattractive.

Yes I may have come across as being hypocritical because I have turned down Singhs because I have found them unattractive but it has got nothing to do with them being Singhs, not at all.

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Guest Steel Singh

Bhainji you have to give it time. Just like the previous poster said most people that wait will get the "fruits of their labour" sort of speak. You will find a hubby in no time with Guru's arshiwad. Best OF Luck. :lol:

Also, you are the first case I have ever seen or even heard in my life that goes to the gym. I remember a user on SS "Singh With Dunalli" Bhai Sahib used to tell everyone to "hit the gym" he would have been so proud of you. :)

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Waheguroo jee ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo jee kee Fateh!

The whole marriage game (and it is a game) is trying to find someone that you match with. You two have to click. You need the same respect, love, ideals, beliefs, faith... that's the only way that you'll be happy together.

So take your time. Don't rush it. You will find the right gursikh for you one day :)

Waheguroo jee ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo jee kee Fateh!

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