Marriage

[lowest of the low singhni]

vaheguru ji ka khalsa vaheguru ji ki fateh

ah ok. i'm too immature to answer that.

personally, i woudln't base it on either of those. feelings have played with me too much i dont trust them anymore and material things aren't important in life.

I'm in the same boat as Papi. Sometimes we need to be slapped many times, and hard, for us to understand things even a little bit. We can either remain bitter about it or thank Guru Ji for the valuable, personalised lessons we could learn and situations we could learn from.

Maybe we are too immature to answer questions on marriage. We're all kids in the bigger picture.

We can continue saying "Guru Ji will hook us up with the person we're destined to be with" but it'll only ever be that simple if we truly believe it and place our full trust in Him. Otherwise the worries will continue.

We might tell ourselves that we're only human, and that humans follow their feelings in order to go through life. But Guru Ji never told us to place faith in our own minds. Maybe saying that "we're only human" is a wall we build for ourselves to hide behind because we're afraid to face/fight our weaknesses and insecurities.

As for two people being happy together - that depends on what we think 'happiness' is. For a Gurmukh there's only one type of happiness.

and the Random Ramblings are now going to Stop.

~l~

vaheguru ji ka khalsa vaheguru ji ki fateh

[Revolutionary]

*remains bitter about it*

[Guest Papi]

*remains bitter about it*

why are you bitter?

[heart]

oyeee dont be noseey pappi!!

[raju123]

TRY to find some u like more than a just your parents choice cos they like her.

or just marrying just to please your parents and then end up having a brother/sister relationship.

and u stay with her because u do not want to upset your parents by divoricing.

but then one day your parents arn't around any more,

so just stay together cos.

he should want to get married to her / she should want to marry him.

if not then why waste your and the other persons life.

[lowest of the low singhni]

*remains bitter about it*

why are you bitter?

because sometimes when Guru Ji gives us medicine which we don't like, we only take it half-heartedly. we tend to wallow in the emotions and feelings it left behind, instead of looking ahead, improving and patching things up where it matters.

but back to the topic .

~l~

[Guest Guest]

Okay my question is how can you tell if the feeling you have about that person being the one is actually not just lust? How can you be so sure?

I asked this to my friend who got engaged recently about how did you know she was the one. He said it was just a feeling he had. Then i asked how do you know that it is not just lust. He could not answer. First he said it is different. But then i questioned that obviously we have at least once in our life (unless you are a mahapursh or just blessed) liked someone in a lustful way and if you have liked people several times (hawww ), has that feeling not been different every time? So how can you be so sure that this is not just lust.

To answer my own question, lol, is to ask maharaj right? Well what if you ask maharaj and you take hukam - how would you know it is a yes or no. I can't see it anywhere in sri guru granth sahib saying yes marry her or him. The only way it could be a yes is if the lava came up. I mean what if the hukam said for you to just do jap naam and remember god, which most do, does that mean yes or no?

lol! Have I confused anyone yet?

I apologise if i have said anything wrong...i mean you can tell i am confused.......

[Guest Papi]

I mean what if the hukam said for you to just do jap naam and remember god, which most do, does that mean yes or no?

then thats EXACTLY what guruji is asking you to do ie. he's telling you to stop worrying about marraige and other things, just jap naam and let HIM worry about YOU :TH:

sloku ]

salok ||

Salok:

Dr jIAry iek tyk qU lwih ibfwnI Aws ]

dhhar jeearae eik ttaek thoo laahi biddaanee aas ||

O my soul, grasp the Support of the One Lord; give up your hopes in others.

nwnk nwmu iDAweIAY kwrju AwvY rwis ]1]

naanak naam dhhiaaeeai kaaraj aavai raas ||1||

O Nanak, meditating on the Naam, the Name of the Lord, your affairs shall be resolved. ||1||

[Saahiba]

Ok, so when finding your soul partner...

1) For the people on here married, how did you know?

2)For anyone - do you follow your mind or heart? In other words, do you see whether they have the right degree, job etc or do you have a feeling about them? Look below for further elaboration.

3) If it's feeling? describe.

What if the girl/guy did not have any of the material things you wanted (good job, degree, looks etc), but you felt some sort of feeling towards him VS The girl/guy has everything you want , but you had no feeling about him. What would you chose??

KSingh

IK ONG KAR SATGUR PARSAD!

Apart from judgement based on 'materials', it is very important to know if or not you vibe with the person under consideration.

It is simple.. every person emits an aura and our subconscious antennas do catch or repel (whatever the case may be) the vibes.. so one can know..

Apart from physical compatibility, partners should be mentally and emotionally compatible.

Bhul chuk maaf karnee ji!

[japmans]

so here's how this analogy works: When true love between people exist, it is said that the love between them is as pure as the love a saint has for God. It's of the same intensity, and it's not misdirected because the partners help each other progress on their spiritual/religious path.

If you've never been a Brahmgiyani, what gives you the right to comment on the love they feel for God? Generally, the enlightened can't qualify (use words to describe) the feelings and sentiments for whom he/she has accepted as their best friend and their "preetam" (Beloved). It's just... Love.

and If you've never been in true love, then how can you sit and say that your friend is just lusting over a girl? If he wrote a poem for you telling you how much he loves her, would you have been satisfied? Lust = describable. Love, I don't believe it is, not with words.... only with emotions.. True love is an expression of the soul, in my opinion, and the soul doesn't convey messages with words. So why sit back, expecting a "definition"?

And in general, yes, our minds make us think we're in love all the time, because "she's the ONE!!!", and if anything, that undelrines Sikhi's message that humans just need love to feel happiness...Not to say that it's "okay" or "right" to be ..uhh.."in love" with every next girl/guy you see hahahaha

I'm of the belief that you'll just KNOW when you're in love, and you won't be able to describe it to anyone else.. Ask any newlywed couple and ask someone who's been married for 50 years... ask them "how do you know you actually love her", and I challenge that you won't get any real concrete answers... how do you describe a feeling?! and further, how do you describe a feelnig like love??? any analogy would cheapen it ("it uhh..feels like a refreshing breeze on a hot summer day on a beach by the water! hahaha)

Perhaps we should just accept htat love is only experienced, not talked about, and can be expressed in numerous ways. Some may equate it to open mindedness, some may equate it to non-discriminatory generosity, but that doesn't mean that those two qualities are a DEFINITION of love.

Remember, love is the language of the soul. We're here trying to spend life times to understand our own souls and destinies a bit better so that one day, we can merge with the Big Man... When there's TRUE love, the souls will communicate, it will be beyond human interaction. We can barely understand our mind, we probably shouldn't start saying that we can define love, because it's really not possible. If anything, the more you can describe it with words, the more likely it is that its' NOT love... remember that Maya is defined as those things which appease our body and mind, superficially. Lust is definitely that, and it's a feeling that can be described in words (i.e "damnnnn...she's FINE!" and so forth...hehe)..... Don't mix the two, and don't expect any definitions of love, because you're asking for way too much. A billion poets could come together and write one passionate love poem and it would still fall short.

Don't put human limitations on something your soul experiences.