Love

[Guest lostkaur]

do we follow our guru's path by having love for it first or do we attain love/preethi after we follow our guru's path?

i am in a deep pit...i dont know whether to feel love first or after for example, do we wake up for amritvela because we have the love for waheguru or do we wake up for amritvela to achieve love for waheguru? (besides the obvious fact that we MUST wake up and that it is hukam)

please respond with gurbani where possible.

thank you.

[Guest lol]

stop confusing urself and just stick to rehit.

Love isnt a thing that u have to "do" at a particular time!!

That's like arguing with yourself "should i love my husband before or after he comes back from work?"

get me?

[MPKaur]

I think it doesn't matter really. You have to do it. However, your state of mind going into ur simran will be affected. By that i mean if u already have love for God within u, then it's easier to concentrate. However if u don't then it will be harder but still do it and then love for God will grow as u experience it.

[OhTwadi]

do we follow our guru's path by having love for it first or do we attain love/preethi after we follow our guru's path?

i am in a deep pit...i dont know whether to feel love first or after for example, do we wake up for amritvela because we have the love for waheguru or do we wake up for amritvela to achieve love for waheguru? (besides the obvious fact that we MUST wake up and that it is hukam)

this applies to me more than anyone.

first thing we need is fear of guru sahib. we are being watched every moment, and we will be held accountable. guru sahib says:

nwnk ijn@ min Bau iqn@w min Bwau ]2]

naanak jinh man bho thinhaa man bhaao ||2||

O Nanak, those whose minds are filled with the Fear of God, have the love of God in their minds as well. ||2||

love cannot be achieved, it just happens. and it will happen when guru sahib wishes for us to fall in love with him. until then, read bani, do simran, do sewa, as much as you can. and ofcourse, do ardaas that guru sahib may make us fall in love with him. in the end, it all comes down to love .....

"saach kahu, sun leho sabhey, jin prem kio, tin hee prabh payo" - Dhan Sri Guru Gobind Singh Jee Maharaaj

translation: Listen all, I say the truth, only the one who loves god, meets(realizes) god"

[RKang17]

well u cant really follow sum1 til u trust and love them, rite?

[Amrit Kaur Khalsa]

If u didn't love Guru Ji would you get up at amritvela?

(Ok you may well say yes but u know what I mean )

[OhTwadi]

.

[MPKaur]

This is from Ang 158

ਇਕਿ ਗਾਵਹਿ ਇਕਿ ਭਗਤਿ ਕਰੇਹਿ ॥

Ik gāvahi ik bẖagaṯ karėhi.

Some sing, and some perform devotional worship.

ਨਾਮੁ ਨ ਪਾਵਹਿ ਬਿਨੁ ਅਸਨੇਹ ॥

Nām na pāvahi bin asnėh.

Without heart-felt love, the Naam is not obtained.

ਸਚੀ ਭਗਤਿ ਗੁਰ ਸਬਦ ਪਿਆਰਿ ॥

Sacẖī bẖagaṯ gur sabaḏ pi­ār.

True devotional worship consists of love for the Word of the Guru's Shabad.

ਅਪਨਾ ਪਿਰੁ ਰਾਖਿਆ ਸਦਾ ਉਰਿ ਧਾਰਿ ॥੨॥

Apnā pir rākẖi­ā saḏā ur ḏẖār. ||2||

The devotee keeps his Beloved clasped tightly to his heart. ||2||

[Guest ...]

i agree you have to have fear in your mind to have love in your mind for waheguru. its like a child and its mother, the child loves its mother but at the same time is afraid of doing anything wrong in front of her so the mother doesn't get upset.

[MPKaur]

i agree you have to have fear in your mind to have love in your mind for waheguru. its like a child and its mother, the child loves its mother but at the same time is afraid of doing anything wrong in front of her so the mother doesn't get upset.

I disagree, love and fear are 2 different things. A child may behave properly out of fear of punishment or conditional love from his/her parents. However this would indicate that the moral code or whatever it is the child is doing out of fear is not assimilated into his/her personality yet because the behaving is out of fear or wanting conditional love from the parents.

Regulation of behavior can also be done because the child may feel guilty if not done. This represent a greater level of assimilation of value for the behavior but the behavior is still not fully assimilated.

Regulation of behavior can also be done because it is important to a person. In the case of a child, if helping out mom is important then the child does it not out of fear of punishment or wanting love (this would make it conditional in this case) but out of personal value: It's important to help mom and I agree with this value. This would represent a very good assimilation of behavior because then the child is acting the behavior autonomously without the need for punishment or love being use as a carrot stick, or guilt feeling.

Lastly a behavior can be done because it is enjoyable. Then there is no need for punishment, reward, and so on. This is the best king of behavior regulation, however, most behavior in adults aren't really intrinsically motivating.

This is why the previous type of regulation that i mentioned should be the aim: acting not out of fear but out of personal value: I do my paath because it is important to me, it is part of who I am, I want to grow spiritually.

Usually when people act out of fear, eventually they become demotivated. However, with support and psychological needs met, even acting out of fear can eventually grow into personnally valuing the behaviour, where motivation is autonomous and fear isn't needed anymore.

I hope i made this clear and not too technical jargon.