Marriage - Partner's Vices?

[LifeIsBeautiful]

Dear Sadh Sangat Ji,

I met a girl, that I think of the world, however I haven't proposed to her yet, but was wondering what do you do when you find out of your partner's vices. I found out that she drinks alcohol, and I am not sure of what to do, I have never touched liqour myself, even though I live in Canada. I am wondering do I let this go, or do I make a ultimatium to her to stop drinking?

Kind Regards,

LIB

[japmans]

let us firstly hope and wish that the Big Man has led you to meet the person who you can go along the path with.

Marriage is a big deal, and that love between husband/wife (in my opinion) has to be a two way street... if you're concerned about somehting, i'm sure your wife-to-be (hopefully?) would want to hear it...otherwise there's a communication problem..

you only presented two options... an ultimatum.. i think that's unhealthy... you need to find out what role alcohol plays in her life.. if it's a social thing, and it's something where it's maybe a drink when she goes out and just once in a while, i can imagine the likelihood of her stopping is much higher, if you can have her understand that it's important to you and maybe in the context of your future children and stuff, if you don't want them to be around alcohol..

on the opposite end of the spectrum, not trying to sound rude, but if she's a borderline alcoholic or something.. welld efinitely still talk with her... but you have to decide where your principles are, where you stand... the fact that oyu're bringing this up in the first place shows to us that it's important to you... letting it slide and letting it happen seems like a mistake... i also don't think you can expect her to give it up within the next 5 days... you're going to have to help her every step of the way IF this is truly the girl you're ready to spend the rest of your life with and progress with.

Bottom line: regardless of her level of alcohol consumption, just by bringing this up, you've made the decision that it is an important issue to you. Find a loving, friendly, maybe even a joking way (at first) to bring up the issue... and find out what's going on with her on that front...

if she's unwilling to budge, i think it's safe to say the forum would likely say dump the relatinoship, but ultimately that is YOUR call.. and oyu have to decide if your principles are worth setting aside for her, and if you can maybe tackle her drinking later on in your relatinoship and in your marriage... i think it's something you wanna communicate sooner rather than later though.

then again, who'm i to say anything haha i'm 21 and know nothin bout this stuff hahaha