Parents Vs Marridge Issue

[Guest Sikh Girl]

Hi Guys i didnt no where else to type all my stress so i thought id type it here

Im 22 yrs off age last year at uni , and iv been with my bf for 5 years now who is 23 , We talk about marridge alot and both would like to get married one day maybe in another 5 years time once we have graduated , got jobs and are stable etc i no your probably thinking alot can happen within that time dont get me wrong this isnt another CASTE ISSUE thing , because my parents dont mind who i marry

aslong as he is

1 Sikh / hp

2 Good guy

3 NICE PARENTS

BUT

it not all rosey number 3 worries me alot as my bf does not get on with his dad and step mum but theirs reasons to why my bf does not get on with them and i dont really want to mention them. My bf always saying he cant wait to move out and get away from them becaue all thats happened to him but i think to myself what will my parents think even dough my father been through the same thing with having a step mum. Maybe he may understand. My bf is nothing like his father and is a good guy.. Some may think im thinking to much into this as it ages away but im so stressed out with all this because im afraid what might happen when my parents ask to meet his parents.

can some one advice me please: posistive feedback try not to be negative

SSA

[Guest _kAUR_]

Hey hunni,

I just read your msg firstly i would like to say im sorry you and your bf off 5 years are having to go through this. It can be very stressful having this at the back off your head and ontop off that you have said your in your last year. I can imagine the stress. My advice too you is to try and block this for a while concentrate on your studies grab that degree , then get your job and then worry about this.

I was in kinder same situation with but mine was that my parents and my bf parents couldnt face that fact we wanted to get married. Our issue was the whole caste thing sad i no but all im saying is if he the one fight for it guys. Yes parents deep down like to see their children happy but also want to be happy but life isnt fair at times and you guys goter just be trueful to them when the time is right.

Good Bless

[Mehtab Singh]

1st attempt will be as usual in English, followed by Punjabi treatment if needed.

Im 22 yrs off age last year at uni , and iv been with my bf for 5 years now who is 23

You guys were 17 and 18 when you started dating. That age is normal to fall into such stuff, and start imagining that he/she is the right one.

We talk about marridge alot and both would like to get married one day maybe in another 5 years time once we have graduated , got jobs and are stable etc

Very good, practical, and mature decision.

i no your probably thinking alot can happen within that time

Ofcourse it can

dont get me wrong this isnt another CASTE ISSUE thing , because my parents dont mind who i marry

aslong as he is

1 Sikh / hp

2 Good guy

3 NICE PARENTS

hp = Hindu Punjabi? If you are a Sikh you are supposed to marry only a Sikh. The rest is upto you.

it not all rosey number 3 worries me alot as my bf does not get on with his dad and step mum but theirs reasons to why my bf does not get on with them and i dont really want to mention them.

Well then there you go. Those reasons are what are bothering you.

My bf always saying he cant wait to move out and get away from them becaue all thats happened to him

It would be best to NOT distance him from his parents. If you can have them patch up, your "potential future in laws" would respect you forever for that. Otherwise they will hate you for stealing their son from them (I should have been marriage counsellor who never got married himself).

but i think to myself what will my parents think even dough my father been through the same thing with having a step mum. Maybe he may understand.

Talk to him and see what he feels.

My bf is nothing like his father and is a good guy.. Some may think im thinking to much into this as it ages away but im so stressed out with all this because im afraid what might happen when my parents ask to meet his parents.

Actually I feel they should meet, because some day or the other they have to meet anyways. It would look so inappropriate if your bf comes to talk about marriage to your parents.

My first response to this post was going to be "Sikhs don't date or can't have bf gf". But looks like our youngsters (no I am not old yet) have already decided what lifestyle they want to have.

[Hershi]

hehe mehtab veerji has done it again! wootwoot! haha ... yeh bhenji, like if it doesnt seem like the family relationship is gonna get ne better, then stop the stressin n jus intro him to ur parents... cuz once day or another they will meet and it'll save u a bundle of stress to get it over with now so you can do some more naam jaap