Need Marriage Advice: Boy Amritdhari- Girl Not

[Guest gfjk]

waheguru ji ka khalsa, waheguru ji ki fateh

dear all,

i'll KISS (keep is simple & short) :

i am amritdhari but she is not. my family has asked me to find my partner (although they are looking as well). i met this girl and we both like each other, but deep down i know my self that i wont get marry to a non amritdhari girl (it was hukam from panj piyaare when i was blessed with amrit di daat. they said those who are still single make sure your partner is also guru wala/wali- means amritdhari and gursikh). we have so many things common and understand each other quite well.

But, i dont want to force someone to take amrit just to marry me. I feel the wish of taking amrit, needs to come from heart.

any advice please.

wjkk wjkf

There you have your answer, go with ur feelings, you obviously like this girl but its her decision to make. Taking amrit wont change her, she needs to be pure and be 100%willing no wavering before taking amrit which is what so many amritdharis dont understand.

[Guest gobinday]

waheguru ji ka khalsa, waheguru ji ki fateh

dear all,

i'll KISS (keep is simple & short) :

i am amritdhari but she is not. my family has asked me to find my partner (although they are looking as well). i met this girl and we both like each other, but deep down i know my self that i wont get marry to a non amritdhari girl (it was hukam from panj piyaare when i was blessed with amrit di daat. they said those who are still single make sure your partner is also guru wala/wali- means amritdhari and gursikh). we have so many things common and understand each other quite well.

But, i dont want to force someone to take amrit just to marry me. I feel the wish of taking amrit, needs to come from heart.

any advice please.

wjkk wjkf

WJKK,WJKF

if she does not take amrit out of her own love for the guru, then you must not marry her

she cannot take amrit just because she wants to marry you

at the end of the day, if she does not want to take amrit out of her own love for the guru

then you can choose yourself

who do you love more, your guru who is eternal, or this girl who is temporal

Guru Arjan sat on the hot plate for 5 days and 5 nights and his words were 'do not sacrifice the eternal for the temporal'

its all up to you!

satnaam

[G. Singh]

Amritdharis r told that the person they marry must also hav taken Amrit, end of story.

[Guest Amandeep]

Amrit or Sikh Baptism is for the individual, and so

having taken Amrit does not mean an Amritdhari is

unable to marry a non-Amritdhari individual. It may

be that the individual’s potential partner is slowly

wanting to follow a spiritual lifestyle, so marrying a

non-Amritdhari would be an excellent way of helping

another soul with their spiritual evolution to become

a devotee of God.

[Guest Sundeep]

I have been with my husband for a total of ten years. Seven years of courtship and three years of marriage. This issue eats both of us into pieces because he is Amritdhari and I want to still wait to take amrit. When we were going out he was fine with my short hair and blond highlights, but after marriage he turned the table and banned me from my "American" ways. He changed the many things about me including, the way I wear my hair, the clothes I wear, the friends I talk to, and keeping me away from my family because he believes they are bad influence.

He said he married me because he loved me and even convinced his parents that I would take amrit after marriage. They tried to talk him out of it because they had their doubts and he eventually convinced them.

I got the rotten end of the deal because I never thought I would have to change so much and I am continuously being forced to take amrit. It's to the point where I don't know if I should take it just to please them or if I should commit suicide because I am forced to do something against my will. I feel like I'm slowly dying because little by little they are changing everything about me. Now I am their rag doll and do not have my own personality.

The bottom line is this - if she truly wants to take amrit marry her, if she doesn't don't ruin both of your lives!

[VanHelsingh]

To the original poster: If you feel that your prospective partner will be capable of taking Amrit due to her love of Sikhi, then fine. However the fact that she hasn't done so already must tell you something.

Don't allow anyone to portray you as the bad guy in the future. The last thing you want to hear from the girl (if you get married to her) is: "The only reason I took Amrit was because you told me to". That is NOT a good thing.