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20 Types Of Gurdwara-goers: Which Are You?


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normal + wall supporter. I'm gradually migrating away from the walls inch by inch.

Some more types:

21 The Asana shufflers. They can be found moving mysteriously from one place to another like a hovervraft, whilst in the cross legged position. They resemble floating penguins. They may be bored, cold, have spotted a friend or a pillar in the distance to lean on to. Unfurled ground sheets and toppled over children can be found in their 'wake'.

22 The beat-the-granthi-to-the-next-tuk type. They actually come in two varieties- the first become very excited when they know the particular paath being recited. They don't just want to sing along, but rather want to beat the granthi by yelling out the first word of the next tuk even whilst the last line is still being read. The second variety mysteriously appear at akhand paths and play the beat-the-granthi-to-the-next-tuk game, by reading out paath on their mobiles. The Asana shuffers are instantly attracted to this type and hover over to them.

23 The side wall oogling uncles. They typically position themselves along the side walls for the best view to the other side of the hall. Committee members are typically interspersed among them.

24 The Gung-ho type. They only show up for gatka class. They can occasionally be found distributing leaflets. At all other times, they remain hidden.

25. The oh-so-cool-bandanna type. These are mona men who decide that the scarf they were given should really only cover a bit of the forehead; their dasam duar must be fully revealed for maximum spiritual benefit. They will typically be really excited when prasad is distributed and leave instantly afterwards.

26. The what-am-I-doing-here variety. They normally have a look of pure bewilderment on their faces like they had been abducted by aliens for probing experiments.

27. The hip-raagi. The Hip Raagi uses a shortened Fateh which leaves one fumbling for words and makes it a point to say his phone number in English in a loud voice such as to make sure it's understood. He will rather die than have someone else have a bigger Nok style turban in the room.

28. The hip jathedar. Long white beard notwithstanding, the Hip Jathedar will have the latest ringtones. He will take the ringing phone out of his chest pocket, examine it, contemplate for a moment or two, but never answer it. Ever.

29. The make up artists. These women would rather wither and die than be without layers of face paint. They strive to cover every square inch of visible face with some variety of make up.

30. The bewildered eager non Punjabi. They make a great effort to maintain bana and attend all services. However when engaging in conversation in pind dialect punjabi they develop a look of bewilderment. They nod and agree wholeheartedly in response to any question or statement. Surrounding conversation stops whilst the poor chap is saying 'yes yes I agree' when the other party asks for some information.

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normal + wall supporter. I'm gradually migrating away from the walls inch by inch.

Some more types:

21 The Asana shufflers. They can be found moving mysteriously from one place to another like a hovervraft, whilst in the cross legged position. They resemble floating penguins. They may be bored, cold, have spotted a friend or a pillar in the distance to lean on to. Unfurled ground sheets and toppled over children can be found in their 'wake'.

22 The beat-the-granthi-to-the-next-tuk type. They actually come in two varieties- the first become very excited when they know the particular paath being recited. They don't just want to sing along, but rather want to beat the granthi by yelling out the first word of the next tuk even whilst the last line is still being read. The second variety mysteriously appear at akhand paths and play the beat-the-granthi-to-the-next-tuk game, by reading out paath on their mobiles. The Asana shuffers are instantly attracted to this type and hover over to them.

23 The side wall oogling uncles. They typically position themselves along the side walls for the best view to the other side of the hall. Committee members are typically interspersed among them.

24 The Gung-ho type. They only show up for gatka class. They can occasionally be found distributing leaflets. At all other times, they remain hidden.

25. The oh-so-cool-bandanna type. These are mona men who decide that the scarf they were given should really only cover a bit of the forehead; their dasam duar must be fully revealed for maximum spiritual benefit. They will typically be really excited when prasad is distributed and leave instantly afterwards.

26. The what-am-I-doing-here variety. They normally have a look of pure bewilderment on their faces like they had been abducted by aliens for probing experiments.

27. The hip-raagi. The Hip Raagi uses a shortened Fateh which leaves one fumbling for words and makes it a point to say his phone number in English in a loud voice such as to make sure it's understood. He will rather die than have someone else have a bigger Nok style turban in the room.

28. The hip jathedar. Long white beard notwithstanding, the Hip Jathedar will have the latest ringtones. He will take the ringing phone out of his chest pocket, examine it, contemplate for a moment or two, but never answer it. Ever.

29. The make up artists. These women would rather wither and die than be without layers of face paint. They strive to cover every square inch of visible face with some variety of make up.

30. The bewildered eager non Punjabi. They make a great effort to maintain bana and attend all services. However when engaging in conversation in pind dialect punjabi they develop a look of bewilderment. They nod and agree wholeheartedly in response to any question or statement. Surrounding conversation stops whilst the poor chap is saying 'yes yes I agree' when the other party asks for some information.

LOL

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