Problem

[Guest _GUPT_]

vaheguru ji ka khalsa

vaheguru ji ke fateh

erm i don't really know how to say this but as bibia and singh's we have alot of hair and we don't remove it. with bibia i feel its different but to the point i don't really think my fiancée understands about bibia having hair on their legs, armpits etc. how can i make it clear to him? as i am very shy i don't want to just say it straight up so has the sangat got any idea's how i can make it clear to him?

vaheguru ji ka khalsa

vaheguru ji ke fateh

[Guest Papi]

what the...is this guy for real?!!! Is he like 14 yrs old?!!! :S

Any successful relationship is based on communication; that is the foundation. If you don't have that, you can't even start to build a one. That goes for every type of relationship, not just for husband-wife. You need to lose the shyness and talk to him about this openly and honestly. After all, you are going to be sleeping with him on the same bed!

If that feels like too daunting of a task, then I hate to break it to you but you are not ready to get married to this guy. I know that sounds harsh, but it's the truth and if someone doesn't agree with me, they need to grow up

Talk to him before it's too late. I would think that something like this would be understood by a person who is old enough to get married. However, I have been proven wrong many a times before, but this one goes somewhere near the top of that list.

[lowest of the low singhni]

vahegurujikakhalsavahegurujikifateh

Are you just assuming that he doesn't understand it? Or has he given some sort of indication that he thinks we as a species are hairless beings? Like papi said, if he's getting married (and if you're both Amritdhari) it sounds ridiculous that he doesn't know this already.

It's understandable that you're shy and you might not feel comfortable talking to him about intimate things at the beginning, but if it is really bothering you, you just need to go for it and talk to him about it. If he has any respect for Sikhi he probably will be fine about it. And talking about things like this might even bring you two closer. Sometimes saying things straight up is the best way to go about it, as cringe-ful as it might seem.

vahegurujikakhalsavahegurujikifateh

[Guest Guest]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

Gupt ji,

You must tell your future partner about the hair.

It is important that your life mate understands and respects your personal feelings.

So better to convey, get feedback and then decide.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

[TejiKaur]

Gurufathe g

this has always troubled me too it is so hard

and no girl wants to admit it but when we first fall into Sikhi their are countless fights with the mirror over one thing facial hair

it is a universal struggle filled with guilt, anger, and so much dukhi.

the think we have to understand is that it is our nature to make mistakes and we should not dwell on our shortcomings

like Guru Granth Sahib Ji says - If I wasn't a sinner God why would you be called Bakshanhar (forgiver of sins)

see what we notice is that as we fall more and more into SIkhi

as we have love with bani

than bana happens naturaly

all our habits are reformed one by one

i know this first hand as i am nowhere near perfect but i remember when my dadee ma used to make chicken n i would poke my fingers in it leaving bones

than when i become into Sikhi i tried so many times to eat chicken

the first 2 times i sucseeded but than i realized i felt dukh because the Bani had infused a daya into me that wasn't there

now when it comes to facial hair its the same concept and a battle we all fite

see everytime one feels guilt over waxing ur face ext..... we grow

we think n realize that this is not right its not hukam

that hair is natural

its our roop

its meant to b there

it makes us beautiful

and we learn to love every hair on our bodies

but this too comes with bani

when we realize the essence of the hukam

nowwwwwwwwwwww that was a side note

on to ur husband

well u just have to make him understand this

tell his its ur kesh

do u wear a dastaar

if hair isnt meant on bibis y did God put it there

its the craziest thing once my sisters were watch a show on mtv where this woman was meeting a guy and the woman sed that she doesnt shave wont shave

mind u this woman was in shorts

she sed she loved her body and thats that

now this wasnt a Sikh nor an Indian and MTV is not a very Gurmat channal

but still we can take inspiration from her confidence

u too must feel this way and let ur husband know the hair isnt leaving