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Jokes Anyone?


Nehmat
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Jesus walks in a Bar and sees three guys. A swedish, german and an indian. Swedish says 'I hurt my ankle skiing my Lord'

Jesus touches the ankle and he is cured.

German says'I broke my arm when I was drunk my Lord.'

Jesus touches the arm and hes is cured.

Jesus walks towards the Indian.

The Indian walks away and then shouts'don't touch me.'

Jesus replies 'why my child?'.

The Indian replies 'because I'm on Disability allowance'

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Manmohan Singh, Silvio Berlusconi , Badal and Chancellor Angel Merkel are traveling in a train through Hindustan on an EU trade talk mission. The train suddenly goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. Merkel and Berlusconi are sitting there looking perplexed. Manmohan is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

Berlusconi is thinking: "These Indians are all crazy after Merkel. Manmohan must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel, but she probably doesnt like Sikh guys."

Merkel is thinking: "Manmohan must have moved to kiss me, and kissed Berlusconi instead and got slapped."

Manmohan is thinking: "Damn! it, Berlusconi must have tried to kiss Merkel, she thought it was me and slapped me! What a crazy woman!"

Badal is thinking: "If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap Manmohan again."

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Manmohan Singh, Silvio Berlusconi , Badal and Chancellor Angel Merkel are traveling in a train through Hindustan on an EU trade talk mission. The train suddenly goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. Merkel and Berlusconi are sitting there looking perplexed. Manmohan is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

Berlusconi is thinking: "These Indians are all crazy after Merkel. Manmohan must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel, but she probably doesnt like Sikh guys."

Merkel is thinking: "Manmohan must have moved to kiss me, and kissed Berlusconi instead and got slapped."

Manmohan is thinking: "Damn! it, Berlusconi must have tried to kiss Merkel, she thought it was me and slapped me! What a crazy woman!"

Badal is thinking: "If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap Manmohan again."

Iv heard this joke before BUT the way you've put Badal and Manmohan Singh in it instead is hilarious

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yeah, the joke above about the parking space was originally about a guy called jason but i thought it would be funnier if the joke was desified. as for post 37, i think it was originally about two other hindustani politicians but wasnt that funny.

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Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics:

29 have been accused of spousal abuse

7 have been arrested for fraud

19 have been accused of writing bad checks

117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses

3 have done time for assault

71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

14 have been arrested on drug-related charges

8 have been arrested for shoplifting

21 are currently defendants in lawsuits

84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year

Can you guess which organization this is?

It's the 535 members of the United States Congress. The same group that cranks out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.

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