Jokes Anyone?

[njjassa]

hahha..... just another nice one...haha....i thought indians were amongst the smartest ones...

[satpunga singh]

heres one. more of a smart joke but here goes.

a young man and an old man are sitting together on a bench whilst the young man tries to explain to the old guy that the new generation is best. the young guy says "we are the new and better generation. we have tv, ps3s, mobile phones, supercars, space launches and computers. your generation diddnt have any of this old man"

the old man is quiet for a while and then says "you know...you r right. but it was MY generation that made this possible for you. so tell me you cocky little <banned word filter activated>, what r YOU going to do for the next generation"

[njjassa]

a sensible joke... :rolleyes: ... still like it

[HSD*^]

A brahmin indian IT graduate goes to England to attend a 2-week, company training session.

Her tubby husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.

The wife answers : "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?"

The smelly grinning husband laughs and says: "An English

girl !!!" The woman kept quiet and left.

Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: "So, honey, how was the trip?"

"Very good, thank you."

"And, what happened to my present?"

"Which present?" She asked

"The one I asked for -- the English girl!!"

"Oh, that" she said, "Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait a few months to see if it's a girl"

[Harjeet.Singh]

A brahmin indian IT graduate goes to England to attend a 2-week, company training session.

Her tubby husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.

The wife answers : "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?"

The smelly grinning husband laughs and says: "An English

girl !!!" The woman kept quiet and left.

Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: "So, honey, how was the trip?"

"Very good, thank you."

"And, what happened to my present?"

"Which present?" She asked

"The one I asked for -- the English girl!!"

"Oh, that" she said, "Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait a few months to see if it's a girl"

LOOOOOOOOL :lol:

[njjassa]

A brahmin indian IT graduate goes to England to attend a 2-week, company training session.

Her tubby husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.

The wife answers : "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?"

The smelly grinning husband laughs and says: "An English

girl !!!" The woman kept quiet and left.

Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: "So, honey, how was the trip?"

"Very good, thank you."

"And, what happened to my present?"

"Which present?" She asked

"The one I asked for -- the English girl!!"

"Oh, that" she said, "Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait a few months to see if it's a girl"

holly molly....hahahahahahhahaha....

[HSD*^]

the one below is not mine but i found it hilarious. i thought about desifying it, but decided it was more poignant if i left it untouched. enjoy:

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project, they did some astronaut training on a Navajo Indian reservation. One day, a Navajo elder and his son were herding sheep and came across the space crew. The old man, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question which his son translated. "What are these guys in the big suits doing?"

A member of the crew said they were practicing for their trip to the moon. The old man got all excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts. Recognizing a promotional opportunity for the spin-doctors, the NASA folks found a tape recorder.

After the old man recorded his message, they asked the son to translate it. He refused. So the NASA reps brought the tape to the reservation where the rest of the tribe listened and laughed but refused to translate the elder's message to the moon.

Finally, the NASA crew called in an official government translator. He reported that the moon message said, "Watch out for these guys; they have come to steal your land."

[njjassa]

another good one..... man this thread is goofier as it gets... lol

[AvnitK]

A brahmin indian IT graduate goes to England to attend a 2-week, company training session.

Her tubby husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.

The wife answers : "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?"

The smelly grinning husband laughs and says: "An English

girl !!!" The woman kept quiet and left.

Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: "So, honey, how was the trip?"

"Very good, thank you."

"And, what happened to my present?"

"Which present?" She asked

"The one I asked for -- the English girl!!"

"Oh, that" she said, "Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait a few months to see if it's a girl"

holly molly....hahahahahahhahaha....

ahahah wow

[Azaad]

To help the new wave of incoming students from India, here are the proper answers to awkward questions asked everyday:

Q. What does that red dot on women's forehead mean?

A. Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice archery skills by target practicing by aiming at their wife's red dot. In fact, that is one of the reasons why they had many wives. You see, once they mastered the art of archery and hit the target....

Q. You're from India? I have read so much about the country. All the wonderful places, the forests, the snake charmers, the elephants. Do you still use elephants for transportation?

A. Absolutely. In fact we used to have our own elephant in our house. But later, we started participating in elephant-ride sharing schemes with our neighbors, to save the air. You see elephants have an "emissions" problem.....

Q. Does India have cars?

A. No. We ride elephants to work. The government is trying to encourage ride-sharing schemes.

Q. Does India have TV?

A. No. We only have cable.

Q. Are all Indians vegetarian?

A. Yes. Even tigers are vegetarian in India.

Q. How come you speak English so well?

A. You see when the British were ruling India, they employed Indians as servants. It took too long for the Indians to learn English. So the British isolated an "English-language" gene and infused their servants' babies with it and since then all babies born are born speaking English.

Q. Are you a Hindi?

A. Yes. I am spoken everyday in Northern India.

Q. Do you speak Hindu?

A. Yes, I also speak Jewish, Islam and Christianity.

Q. Is it true that everyone there is very corrupt?

A. Yes, in fact, I had to bribe my parents so that they would let me go to school.

Q. India is very hot, isn't it?

A. It is so hot there that all the water boils spontaneously. That is why tea is such a popular drink in India.

Q. Are there any business companies in India?

A. No. All Indians live on the Gandhian principles of self-sufficiency. We all make our own clothes and grow our own food. That is why you see all these thin skinny Indians -- it is is a lot of hard work.

Q. Indians cannot beef, huh?

A. Cows provide milk which is a very essential part of Indian diet. So eating cows is forbidden. However in order to decrease the population of the country, the government is trying to encourage everyone to eat human meat.

Q. India is such a religious place. Do you meditate regularly?

A. Yes, sometimes I meditate for weeks without food and drink. But it is difficult to keep my job, because I have to miss work when I meditate like that. But the bosses there do the same thing. That is why things are so inefficient there.

Q. I saw on TV that people there walk on burning coals. Why do they do that?

A. We don't have shoes. So we burn the bottom of our feet to make it hard so that we can walk.

Q. Why do you sometimes wear Indian clothes to work?

A. I prefer it to coming naked.