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My True Friends


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In this age of Kaljug, its a matter of great pride to boast about how many friends one has. One shows pride in them, one is dependant on them, and one counts on them. However, one is in for a shock when Gurbani says

jgq mY JUTI dyKI pRIiq ]

jagath mai jhoot(h)ee dhaekhee preeth ||

In this world, I have seen love to be false.

Apny hI suK isau sB lwgy ikAw dwrw ikAw mIq ]1] rhwau ]

apanae hee sukh sio sabh laagae kiaa dhaaraa kiaa meeth ||1|| rehaao ||

Whether they are spouses or friends, all are concerned only with their own happiness. ||1||Pause||

myrau myrau sBY khq hY ihq isau bwiDE cIq ]

maero maero sabhai kehath hai hith sio baadhhiou cheeth ||

All say, ""Mine, mine"", and attach their consciousness to you with love.

AMiq kwil sMgI nh koaU ieh Acrj hY rIiq ]1]

a(n)th kaal sa(n)gee neh kooo eih acharaj hai reeth ||1||

But at the very last moment, none shall go along with you. How strange are the ways of the world! ||1||

pRIqm jwin lyhu mn mwhI ]

preetham jaan laehu man maahee ||

O dear friend, know this in your mind.

Apny suK isau hI jgu PWiDE ko kwhU ko nwhI ]1] rhwau ]

apanae sukh sio hee jag faa(n)dhhiou ko kaahoo ko naahee ||1|| rehaao ||

The world is entangled in its own pleasures; no one is for anyone else. ||1||Pause||

suK mY Awin bhuqu imil bYTq rhq chU idis GyrY ]

sukh mai aan bahuth mil bait(h)ath rehath chehoo dhis ghaerai ||

In good times, many come and sit together, surrounding you on all four sides.

ibpiq prI sB hI sMgu Cwifq koaU n Awvq nyrY ]1]

bipath paree sabh hee sa(n)g shhaaddith kooo n aavath naerai ||1||

But when hard times come, they all leave, and no one comes near you. ||1||

Some people interpret this to mean that one should not bother about worldly relationships. Others say that one should not be attached to worldly relationships. But living in an age like Kaljug, surrounded by Maya, how far is it possible? Gurujee knew that we are human beings, and weak ones. Instead of asking us to stay away from fellow human beings, He asked us to live among them. Instead of asking us not to love them, He asked us not to be attached.

But this attachment is really hard to let go of. It doesn't go no matter how hard you try, unless you have lot of kirpa on you. But what is the other way around? How about changing the direction of these attachments? Gurujee has blessed us with the way to do that as well.

horu ibrhw sB Dwqu hY jb lgu swihb pRIiq n hoie ]

hor birehaa sabh dhhaath hai jab lag saahib preeth n hoe ||

All other loves are transitory, as long as people do not love their Lord and Master.

Its not wrong to love people around you, its the base and foundation of that love what matters. If that "love" is worldly or sensual, its not going to survive forever. If your love for your family or friends revolves around Vaheguru, its never going to die. Sahib-E-Kamaal Dasmesh Pita Sri Guru Gobind Singh Ji Maharaj loved His father Sahib Sri Guru Tegh Bahadur Ji Maharaj so much, that He considered Him to be the only one capable to protect humanity. Kalgidhar Patshah loved all His 4 sons so much, that He didn't hold them back, rather sent them ahead and cement the foundations of Sikhi. This was true love! This was the love that is alive till today. We can enjoy the fragrance and aroma of that love to this day! This was true love as it revolved around Vaheguru.

Gurujee has also laid out the qualities of friends, of our true friends, our true companions.

sjx syeI nwil mY clidAw nwil clµin@ ]

sajan saeee naal mai chaladhiaa naal chala(n)nih ||

They alone are my friends, who travel along with me;

ijQY lyKw mMgIAY iqQY KVy idsMin ]1] rhwau ]

jithhai laekhaa ma(n)geeai thithhai kharrae dhisa(n)n ||1|| rehaao ||

and in that place, where the accounts are called for, they appear standing with me. ||1||Pause||

See how amazing this is. Gurbani says no one will be with you at the last moment, and so all relationships are fake. At the same time, before we lose hope, Gurujee assures us as to who in fact is our true friend.

What is the best way to find out if someone is our friend or not?

Eie swjn Eie mIq ipAwry ]

oue saajan oue meeth piaarae ||

They are my companions, and they are my dear friends,

jo hm kau hir nwmu icqwry ]1] rhwau ]

jo ham ko har naam chithaarae ||1|| rehaao ||

who inspire me to remember the Lord's Name. ||1||Pause||

We have and will find enough "buddies" and "pals" who will hang around us, talk whatever comes to their mind. But only they are true buddies and true pals who are themselves joined to Gurujee and enjoin us as well.

Next Gurujee tells us what benefits we reap by having association with such true friends.

jw kY sMig iehu mnu inrmlu ]

jaa kai sa(n)g eihu man niramal ||

Associating with them, this mind becomes immaculate and pure.

jw kY sMig hir hir ismrnu ]

jaa kai sa(n)g har har simaran ||

Associating with them, one meditates in remembrance on the Lord, Har, Har.

jw kY sMig iklibK hoih nws ]

jaa kai sa(n)g kilabikh hohi naas ||

Associating with them, all the sins are erased.

jw kY sMig irdY prgws ]1]

jaa kai sa(n)g ridhai paragaas ||1||

Associating with them, the heart is illumined. ||1||

sy sMqn hir ky myry mIq ]

sae sa(n)than har kae maerae meeth ||

Those Saints of the Lord are my friends.

So what were we thinking? That our family, friends, companions, associates will lead us away from Vaheguru? Well, they can! But if they are the kind of saints as just mentioned, there is nothing to worry about now, is there?

What kind of relationship we can/should have with these saints?

hau bilhwrI swjnw mIqw AvrIqw ]

ho balihaaree saajanaa meethaa avareethaa ||

I am a sacrifice to my pure friends, the immaculate Saints.

iehu qnu ijn isau gwifAw mnu lIAVw dIqw ]

eihu than jin sio gaaddiaa man leearraa dheethaa ||

This body is attached to them, and we have shared our minds.

lIAw q dIAw mwnu ijn@ isau sy sjn ikau vIsrih ]

leeaa th dheeaa maan jinh sio sae sajan kio veesarehi ||

We have shared our minds - how could I forget those friends?

ijn@ idis AwieAw hoih rlIAw jIA syqI gih rhih ]

jinh dhis aaeiaa hohi raleeaa jeea saethee gehi rehehi ||

Seeing them brings joy to my heart; I keep them clasped to my soul.

sgl gux Avgxu n koeI hoih nIqw nIqw ]

sagal gun avagan n koee hohi neethaa neethaa ||

They have all virtues and merits, forever and ever; they have no demerits or faults at all.

hau bilhwrI swjnw mIqw AvrIqw ]2]

ho balihaaree saajanaa meethaa avareethaa ||2||

I am a sacrifice to my pure friends, the immaculate Saints. ||2||

And how can we meet these beloved friends?

jw hir pRB BwvY qw gurmuiK myly ijn@ vcn gurU siqgur min BwieAw ]

jaa har prabh bhaavai thaa guramukh maelae jinh vachan guroo sathigur man bhaaeiaa ||

When it pleases the Lord God, he causes us to meet the Gurmukhs; the Hymns of the Guru, the True Guru, are very sweet to their minds.

It is true that at the last moment no one is with us. What this kind of Sangat does it takes us to a point that our last moment becomes blissful. It is true that no one stands besides us in dargah when we are called to answer for our deeds and held accountable. What this kind of Sangat does is they motivate and encourage us more into Sikhi, and that way Dharamraj tears apart all our papers and our account is cleared!

These are just my thoughts. May SatGuru Ji forgive me for any mistakes. Please forgive me and feel free to correct me if I have made any mistakes.

May SatGuru Ji do kirpa on us. May we find the sangat of those enjoin us with His feet.

Sei Pyaare Melhu Jina Mileya Tera Naam Chith Aavay

~ Mehtab Singh

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This Shabad is by Guru Arjan Dev Ji in Raag Raamkalee on Pannaa 958

slok mÚ 5 ]

salok ma 5 ||

Salok, Fifth Mehla:

hir ieksY nwil mY dosqI hir ieksY nwil mY rMgu ]

har eikasai naal mai dhosathee har eikasai naal mai ra(n)g ||

My friendship is with the One Lord alone; I am in love with the One Lord alone.

hir ieko myrw sjxo hir ieksY nwil mY sMgu ]

har eiko maeraa sajano har eikasai naal mai sa(n)g ||

The Lord is my only friend; my companionship is with the One Lord alone.

hir ieksY nwil mY gosty muhu mYlw krY n BMgu ]

har eikasai naal mai gosattae muhu mailaa karai n bha(n)g ||

My conversation is with the One Lord alone; He never frowns, or turns His face away.

jwxY ibrQw jIA kI kdy n moVY rMgu ]

jaanai birathhaa jeea kee kadhae n morrai ra(n)g ||

He alone knows the state of my soul; He never ignores my love.

hir ieko myrw mslqI BMnx GVn smrQu ]

har eiko maeraa masalathee bha(n)nan gharran samarathh ||

He is my only counselor, all-powerful to destroy and create.

hir ieko myrw dwqwru hY isir dwiqAw jg hQu ]

har eiko maeraa dhaathaar hai sir dhaathiaa jag hathh ||

The Lord is my only Giver. He places His hand upon the heads of the generous in the world.

hir ieksY dI mY tyk hY jo isir sBnw smrQu ]

har eikasai dhee mai ttaek hai jo sir sabhanaa samarathh ||

I take the Support of the One Lord alone; He is all-powerful, over the heads of all.

siqguir sMqu imlwieAw msqik Dir kY hQu ]

sathigur sa(n)th milaaeiaa masathak dhhar kai hathh ||

The Saint, the True Guru, has united me with the Lord. He placed His hand on my forehead.

vfw swihbu gurU imlwieAw ijin qwirAw sgl jgqu ]

vaddaa saahib guroo milaaeiaa jin thaariaa sagal jagath ||

The Guru led me to meet the greatest Lord and Master; He saved the whole world.

mn kIAw ieCw pUrIAw pwieAw Duir sMjog ]

man keeaa eishhaa pooreeaa paaeiaa dhhur sa(n)jog ||

The desires of the mind are fulfilled; I have attained my pre-destined Union with God.

nwnk pwieAw scu nwmu sd hI Bogy Bog ]1]

naanak paaeiaa sach naam sadh hee bhogae bhog ||1||

Nanak has obtained the True Name; He enjoys the enjoyments forever. ||1||

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