Question For The Uk Based Sikhs - Marriage

[Guest _Confused_]

Hey,

Quick question, I am looking to get married and my parent's social circle isn't that large, a large part of my extended family is still in India and we live in a mainly white area so they haven't been able to find a girl.

A few friends have told me that some Gurdwaras have marriage lists which contain details of fellow sikhs who are looking to get married. Does anyone know whether Park Ave in southall have these marriage lists or any others in west london and how someone gets onto the lists. what the process is.

thanks.

[citizen_soulja]

park ave does have a list thing going on go there and speak to a Giani they will help you alternatively you can go to havelock road Gurdwara

best of luck

with Vaheguroo's kirpa everything will be fine

[apnepart2]

yep! good luck.

[Guest single_jatt]

I know Havelock Road Singh Sabha has the matrimonial agency on sundays. lol I have also joined. Most of the girls there are too old for me

What do they have in PArk Avenue????

[citizen_soulja]

Probably nothing other than a SLAP for you ''single jatt''

How can you go and look to Maharaj Ji for marriage if you cant even follow a simple command like DO NOT BELIEVE IN CASTS

THE CASTE SYSTEM HAS BEEN DEBUNKED AND OUTLAWED BY OUR GURUS

Khalsa meri jaat aur paat

oupmah khalsa jaat nah kehe

mehva eh paar nah lehi

Tell me when your planning on going to Park Ave Gurdwara i'll hook you up 4 life....

[DSH]

Am loving the qoute citizen_soulja!

The people born from the struggle and history of Punjab are SIKHS.

A punjabi is a media creation.

[Guest Guest]

Probably nothing other than a SLAP for you ''single jatt''

How can you go and look to Maharaj Ji for marriage if you cant even follow a simple command like DO NOT BELIEVE IN CASTS

THE CASTE SYSTEM HAS BEEN DEBUNKED AND OUTLAWED BY OUR GURUS

Khalsa meri jaat aur paat

oupmah khalsa jaat nah kehe

mehva eh paar nah lehi

Tell me when your planning on going to Park Ave Gurdwara i'll hook you up 4 life....

noyt to go into this caste debating, but u have NO RIGHT to tell me to denounce my tribe.

Our Guru jis all married into kshatriya families. Our Guru jis don;t need to be brought down to the level of peopel who do caste bashing either. sikhs are supposed to respect all tribes and races. Are you really promoting sikhi by attacking peoples cultures and tribes?

Secondly, I am sikh of Guru Tegh Bahadur who gave shaeedi to protect the culture from peopel liek the mughal;s who say you should be muslim and can;t be something else. Here you are saying I can'g be jatt and sikh. I think you should first become nauvan patshah's sikh, and learn to respect people of different cultures, and stop doing sangat of the people who preach against them, because they are no better than the people like the mughalls tryna convert everyone.

I am even ready to give my head, I woudl rather give my head than be given the choice by the fanatic youths i see these days to choose what i can and cannot belog to. I will follow Adi Guru Granth Sahib, become Guru jis sikh, but at teh same time be a jatt, and if any1 wants to stop me being both, please be my guest, since I am also sikh of Guru Gobind Singh, I will portetct my dharm against adharm.

And here is dasam pathshah himself:

ਸਵੈਯਾ ॥

सवैया ॥

SWAYYA

ਛਤ੍ਰੀ ਕੋ ਪੂਤ ਹੌ ਬਾਮਨ ਕੋ ਨਹਿ ਕੈ ਤਪੁ ਆਵਤ ਹੈ ਜੁ ਕਰੋ ॥ ਅਰੁ ਅਉਰ ਜੰਜਾਰ ਜਿਤੋ ਗ੍ਰਹਿ ਕੋ ਤੁਹਿ ਤਿਆਗ ਕਹਾ ਚਿਤ ਤਾ ਮੈ ਧਰੋ ॥

छत्री को पूत हौ बामन को नहि कै तपु आवत है जु करो ॥ अरु अउर जंजार जितो ग्रहि को तुहि तिआग कहा चित ता मै धरो ॥

I am the son of a Kshatriya and not of a Brahmin who may instruct for performing severe austerities; how can I absorb myself in the embarrassments of the world by leaving you;

ਅਬ ਰੀਝ ਕੈ ਦੇਹੁ ਵਹੈ ਹਮ ਕਉ ਜੋਊ ਹਉ ਬਿਨਤੀ ਕਰ ਜੋਰ ਕਰੋ ॥ ਜਬ ਆਉ ਕੀ ਅਉਧ ਨਿਦਾਨ ਬਨੈ ਅਤਿਹੀ ਰਨ ਮੈ ਤਬ ਜੂਝ ਮਰੋ ॥੨੪੮੯॥

अब रीझ कै देहु वहै हम कउ जोऊ हउ बिनती कर जोर करो ॥ जब आउ की अउध निदान बनै अतिही रन मै तब जूझ मरो ॥२४८९॥

Whatever request I am making with my folded hands, O Lord ! kindly be graceful and bestow this boon on me that when ever my end comes, then I may die fighting in the battlefield.2489.

Guru ji HAS NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF!

[Guest HaRdKaUrWaRrIoRz]

Probably nothing other than a SLAP for you ''single jatt''

How can you go and look to Maharaj Ji for marriage if you cant even follow a simple command like DO NOT BELIEVE IN CASTS

THE CASTE SYSTEM HAS BEEN DEBUNKED AND OUTLAWED BY OUR GURUS

Khalsa meri jaat aur paat

oupmah khalsa jaat nah kehe

mehva eh paar nah lehi

Tell me when your planning on going to Park Ave Gurdwara i'll hook you up 4 life....

noyt to go into this caste debating, but u have NO RIGHT to tell me to denounce my tribe.

Our Guru jis all married into kshatriya families. Our Guru jis don;t need to be brought down to the level of peopel who do caste bashing either. sikhs are supposed to respect all tribes and races. Are you really promoting sikhi by attacking peoples cultures and tribes?

Secondly, I am sikh of Guru Tegh Bahadur who gave shaeedi to protect the culture from peopel liek the mughal;s who say you should be muslim and can;t be something else. Here you are saying I can'g be jatt and sikh. I think you should first become nauvan patshah's sikh, and learn to respect people of different cultures, and stop doing sangat of the people who preach against them, because they are no better than the people like the mughalls tryna convert everyone.

I am even ready to give my head, I woudl rather give my head than be given the choice by the fanatic youths i see these days to choose what i can and cannot belog to. I will follow Adi Guru Granth Sahib, become Guru jis sikh, but at teh same time be a jatt, and if any1 wants to stop me being both, please be my guest, since I am also sikh of Guru Gobind Singh, I will portetct my dharm against adharm.

And here is dasam pathshah himself:

ਸਵੈਯਾ ॥

सवैया ॥

SWAYYA

ਛਤ੍ਰੀ ਕੋ ਪੂਤ ਹੌ ਬਾਮਨ ਕੋ ਨਹਿ ਕੈ ਤਪੁ ਆਵਤ ਹੈ ਜੁ ਕਰੋ ॥ ਅਰੁ ਅਉਰ ਜੰਜਾਰ ਜਿਤੋ ਗ੍ਰਹਿ ਕੋ ਤੁਹਿ ਤਿਆਗ ਕਹਾ ਚਿਤ ਤਾ ਮੈ ਧਰੋ ॥

छत्री को पूत हौ बामन को नहि कै तपु आवत है जु करो ॥ अरु अउर जंजार जितो ग्रहि को तुहि तिआग कहा चित ता मै धरो ॥

I am the son of a Kshatriya and not of a Brahmin who may instruct for performing severe austerities; how can I absorb myself in the embarrassments of the world by leaving you;

ਅਬ ਰੀਝ ਕੈ ਦੇਹੁ ਵਹੈ ਹਮ ਕਉ ਜੋਊ ਹਉ ਬਿਨਤੀ ਕਰ ਜੋਰ ਕਰੋ ॥ ਜਬ ਆਉ ਕੀ ਅਉਧ ਨਿਦਾਨ ਬਨੈ ਅਤਿਹੀ ਰਨ ਮੈ ਤਬ ਜੂਝ ਮਰੋ ॥੨੪੮੯॥

अब रीझ कै देहु वहै हम कउ जोऊ हउ बिनती कर जोर करो ॥ जब आउ की अउध निदान बनै अतिही रन मै तब जूझ मरो ॥२४८९॥

Whatever request I am making with my folded hands, O Lord ! kindly be graceful and bestow this boon on me that when ever my end comes, then I may die fighting in the battlefield.2489.

Guru ji HAS NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF!

lol typical punjabi, these arnt castes theyre mere occupations and thats all a sikh takes them for nothng else, when you move out to canada or w/e they dont stay with u, do you still hold that job ur parents did? and if you were a real sikh you would know that it is guru gobind sinh jis hukam that if you even so much as ask another sikh what their caste is, you are not guru gobind singh jis sikh, that is what they said, stop twisting words and trying to divide sikhs,

if you were a real sikh with pyaar in ur heart, you wouldnt say such a thing, no sikh would say such a thing, if you are so keen to attachng urself to a caste go become a hindu and leave us alone..

we can claim our false pride in the world today but where will our pride go when the jamdoots smash our heads in for this false ego?

yes at one time your ancestors as well as mine did work as farmers...are we still? no so get over it.. rest of the matter is dependent on whether you want to marry someone who speaks similarly to u because as we know in diff areas of punjab there are slight differences, which ppl do attribute to caste, but they are actually regional as well..

so good luck

pce

[Guest Guest]

I am not the boy above but Sikhs were told not to believe in the caste system as it was back then. Back then is was discrimatory. A chamar could not sit with a Jatt. A brahman only ate at another Brahmans house. The Guru said stop discriminating because it was all illogical and you had the untouchables who were the punch bag of all. It was absolutely terrible!

When the Guru said no discrimation he meant an emperor will sit on the floor and eat with all us common people. But he is still an emperor at the end of the day and can say I am an emperor. Likewise Jatts are Jatts, black people are black and white people are white. There's nothing wrong with Jatt saying I am Jatt, I am black, I am white etc. Its like a boy saying I am a boy and then you can use a religious line and say actually souls have no gender.

We have to understand the Guru's were teaching us Dharma = righteous living ie a deeper understanding of how to behave and treat others. However that does not mean wanting to marry a Jatt is wrong. Its like a doctor saying they want to marry a doctor. All the non-doctors could complain about that but thats just reverse discrimation. We should all realise the message is not about caste but about discrimation. If a white person wants to marry another white person then who are we to complain, unless they say it with racism. We have to be careful when usgin religious lines because you could say in the Guru's eyes we are all same and colourless....

[Guest Papi]

Oh great, another topic is turning into a caste debate, how lovely. Well I might as well also put forth my 2 paisey (i.e. add fuel to the fire ).

We can boast all we want about how guru sahib eradicated the caste system (which is debatable but that's another topic) but fact of the matter is that caste system is still very prevalent within Sikh masses. I would argue that 90% (probably more) of Sikhs practice it, especially when it comes time for marriage.

I don't believe in this caste business, but my parents do and every time they bring caste up it really annoys me but over time I have realized that their view is not going to change. I did ask them for a reason why they believe people should marry with in caste and the reason given to me was similar to what HaRdKaUrWaRrIoRz mentioned, i.e. differences in culture, language of people of various areas etc...Even though I don't agree with agree with it, it still makes sense to me. The idea is to marry a person which would require both parties to make least amount of changes as possible. I know this seems small when you only think about guy and girl getting married, but you have to understand that in our culture marriage is a union of not just two individuals but two families. Parents will think of a lot of things that we kids will not, and perhaps once we get to that age, all this will make some sense, only time will tell. [My dad even mentioned that none of the Guru Sahibaan's married out of their caste. Yes I found that as annoying as you just did. From what I know, that is true].

Another thing I want to mention is that it seems the "jatt" folks are the ones that have pride in their caste. I have seen that people that belong to other castes don't express this. A lot of folks I have discussed this with tend to agree. I know I am generalizing here but this is just what I have experienced in my personal life.

To OP, don't let caste be the barrier for you, if you feel there is a possible match outside of your caste, bring it up with your parents and see what they say. After all, we can't blatantly go against our parents wishes when taking such a big step in life. Oh and that shabad you so proudly quoted to support your pro-caste view...is talking about occupations not castes. I have no problem if you believe in caste, as human beings we are all entitled to our opinions but please don't quote bani out of context. I am of the view that nothing should be forced upon anyone, which is exactly happens when anti-caste people try to convince pro-caste to give up their views i.e. "if you believe in caste, you are not guru's sikh"

I for one am hoping something like this will happen with me, ie finding someone outside of caste I belong to. It'll be nice show of fireworks when I tell my parents...I'll make sure I keep my camcorder on full charge :D