I Am Really Confused

[Guest i dont know !]

fateh all!!

hope u are all well. im really confused. i was blessed with amrit 2 years and i have been reli good with it. yeah ive made little mistakes liek accidentally eating sum food product with egg in it !!but nothing major especially when my other friends have made big mistakes i haev always stayed strong. i took amrit coz it was make or break time for me in my life...eitehr turn to god or continue self harming, being depressed, having an anger prob. i have been reli depressed but prevailed with my armit.

thing is i never missed any of my phaat until about 3 weeks ago!i hada a close family wedding and missed sum phaat. and even now i miss sum phaat coz im out of routine. but im feeling so much happier now its reli odd. when iw as praying i was talking to god about my past and asking 4 help none of us which for whatevr reason was not granted. now im not doing phaat everyday, not wearing my big kareh but im happy!!why??i tried so hard with my amrit b4 even thru pain im so lost!!dnt know where to go. anyone else been thru this.

[Guest sukhdeep_singhh]

fateh all!!

hope u are all well. im really confused. i was blessed with amrit 2 years and i have been reli good with it. yeah ive made little mistakes liek accidentally eating sum food product with egg in it !!but nothing major especially when my other friends have made big mistakes i haev always stayed strong. i took amrit coz it was make or break time for me in my life...eitehr turn to god or continue self harming, being depressed, having an anger prob. i have been reli depressed but prevailed with my armit.

thing is i never missed any of my phaat until about 3 weeks ago!i hada a close family wedding and missed sum phaat. and even now i miss sum phaat coz im out of routine. but im feeling so much happier now its reli odd. when iw as praying i was talking to god about my past and asking 4 help none of us which for whatevr reason was not granted. now im not doing phaat everyday, not wearing my big kareh but im happy!!why??i tried so hard with my amrit b4 even thru pain im so lost!!dnt know where to go. anyone else been thru this.

[Guest 13]

Don't for whatever reason think that your Amrit is broken. Amrit never "breaks". It's not weak like our minds. God is very strong, and he himself enter the body as AMRIT. It's just that if you "choose" to listen to your mind you become vemukh( face away from your Guru), and if you listen to your Guru, which resides within your heart, you remain sanmukh(face towards your Guru). You know? He's very forgiving by nature. He forgives his children easily. He loves us way too much. Unconditionally. That doesn't mean that we should keep making the same mistakes again and again. Do learn from them. We can't trick him either.

You think about your past when you do your prayers... You see, I can't stress this enough, I've been through this myself. My guides tell me this again and again that you have to stay "PRESENT" to be with GOD. God doesn't dwell in your past, and he doesn't even dwell in your future, which is uncertain about its existence anyways. God stays in the moment---Present moment. You must tell yourself again and again that I'm doing paath and I must focus on whatever I'm doing. This will take practice, you can't do this overnight. It's not hocus pocus stuff so it might get frustrating for the mind to take on but you'll have to keep reminding yourself to stay in the moment. My parent explained to me today that:

the place, the time, and you = THE PRESENT MOMENT.

Try to be with them.

And yes, prayers never go unanswered, unless they are harmful for you or someone else. He listens to 'everything' very closely. Every being is very precious to him. But he makes sure that whenever he answers our prayers, we are ready and PRESENT to take care of his blessings. So maybe he's been preparing you. Have faith.

And yes, don't listen to your mind and stop doing your prayers. It's never worth it. Talk to your soul and tell it to get back into its prayer routine. Prayers are HUKAM---Panj Payare are Guru Roop, right? Your mind is making you 'think' that you feel good by NOT doing your prayers. But not doing Paath is never good for anyone. And try to do paath out loud, if you don't already that it. This way your ears listen to Gurbani as well. "Gaaviyeh Sunniyeh Mann Rakhiyeh Bhaau"

You know, we don't have to wear several BIG Kareh if we take Amrit. ONE Kara is good enough. If it's a simple light weighted Kara, that's perfect with God. I bet. He likes simplicity. A light 'sarbloh'(iron) Kara is simple and pretty. Sarbloh because iron Kara was adorned by Dasam Patshaah himself not gold or silver or steel or blah blah. And plus with Sarbloh you won't become anemic either! :happy:

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh.

[Guest i dont know]

im just so sick of life. i give up!!!!!sikhi i dnt reli believe in anymore. i self harmed teh other day......just i been so loyal to guru ji for so long 2 years plus solid. and what havea i achieved nothing!!im even sadder than what i was back then.

[AmarjitKaur]

im just so sick of life. i give up!!!!!sikhi i dnt reli believe in anymore. i self harmed teh other day......just i been so loyal to guru ji for so long 2 years plus solid. and what havea i achieved nothing!!im even sadder than what i was back then.

You break my heart, man. How can a sikh of Guru be so weak that he is ready to give up. Singhs don't give up. My 4.5 year old boy can tell you that. Singhs keep going whether God is testing them with some hard tests in life or showering them with HIS grace.

And don't worry. Guru ji is still watching out for you.

I am wondering I should respond to your previous few weeks old post or this post.

You are not doing anything for sikhi, sikhi is doing everything for you. SIKHI kept you on track, but now you are on the verge to be off the track. Now is the time when you need babaji most. When no one else in whole world can help you, Babaji can still help you.

And this is my personal belief and have seen it coming true that sometimes babaji puts us through some tests in life to give us some traits that we are missing so far. U lived the life so far, but probably without some understanding that you need to have and God wants to give you. Its just that babaji has its own ways of giving us traits, gifts in life (think about this, mother can have baby only after going through 9 months of pain and suffering and almost dying while giving birth. Why?? And you must have plenty of time seen that thats the happiest day of a mother especially when she has a baby even though she almost died. Ask me, have 2 little boys). Whatever your suffering or pains are going on in your life, nothing is abnormal. We all go through pains and sufferings. The only difference is how we deal with them. You can cry and be depressed and break the commitment made to your GURU or you can have GURU on your side and have him help through the temporary period of your life. Your CHOICE.

I go with this, stand on the side and put GURU on the front. Do ardas and beg to GURU ji, that (whatever your current situation is) Guru ji, I am not alone capable of handling this, please be on my right side and take care of my problems while I would like to do simran/bani recitation. And above all, Guruji, please help me keep the commitment I made to you to nibha my amrit. Guru ji, I am capable of doing nothing. Please help me, the helpless.

And apan ardas taan roj karde hee han, nitaniyan de tan, niasriya de asre, neotiya dee ot guru. So why Doubt it.

Gur merai sang sda hai naale (keep saying this whenever you feel depressed or bad thoughts come in your mind).

Guru bhali karoo.

Gur Fateh.

[KEERPA]

Peopoe that dont believe Sikhi listen to manmukhs and/or fake Sants etc. If you feel happy not doing paat then you will definitely feel the worst of the worst when the time comes and can only regret that you screwed up your life by trying to plant a toasted cumin seed and trying to get a plant out of it.

(or in my opinion you could be someone posting a bunk/fake story to try to discourage others to be as foolish as you are)

ਸਲੋਕੁ ਮ: ੧ ॥

salok ma 1 ||

Shalok, First Mehl:

ਕਲਿ ਕਾਤੀ ਰਾਜੇ ਕਾਸਾਈ ਧਰਮੁ ਪੰਖ ਕਰਿ ਉਡਰਿਆ ॥

kal kaathee raajae kaasaaee dhharam pankh kar ouddariaa ||

The Dark Age of Kali Yuga is the knife, and the kings are butchers; righteousness has sprouted wings and flown away.

ਕੂੜੁ ਅਮਾਵਸ ਸਚੁ ਚੰਦ੍ਰਮਾ ਦੀਸੈ ਨਾਹੀ ਕਹ ਚੜਿਆ ॥

koorr amaavas sach chandhramaa dheesai naahee keh charriaa ||

In this dark night of falsehood, the moon of Truth is not visible anywhere.

ਹਉ ਭਾਲਿ ਵਿਕੁੰਨੀ ਹੋਈ ॥ਆਧੇਰੈ ਰਾਹੁ ਨ ਕੋਈ ॥

ho bhaal vikunnee hoee || aadhhaerai raahu n koee ||

I have searched in vain, and I am so confused; in this darkness, I cannot find the path.

ਵਿਚਿ ਹਉਮੈ ਕਰਿ ਦੁਖੁ ਰੋਈ ॥

vich houmai kar dhukh roee ||

In egotism, they cry out in pain.

ਕਹੁ ਨਾਨਕ ਕਿਨਿ ਬਿਧਿ ਗਤਿ ਹੋਈ ॥੧॥

kahu naanak kin bidhh gath hoee ||1||

Says Nanak, how will they be saved?

(edited*****by me)

[Balait_da_Sher]

im just so sick of life. i give up!!!!!sikhi i dnt reli believe in anymore. i self harmed teh other day......just i been so loyal to guru ji for so long 2 years plus solid. and what havea i achieved nothing!!im even sadder than what i was back then.

2 years you been loyal to Guru ji and you didnt self harm. Now that you are not, you are self harming. Sounds to me like you did achieve something.

Dont forget , Guruji also gave you sikh sangat and we are here to listen to you and help you in anyway possible. Dont feel that you have to go through things alone.

[Guest 13]

im just so sick of life. i give up!!!!!sikhi i dnt reli believe in anymore. i self harmed teh other day......just i been so loyal to guru ji for so long 2 years plus solid. and what havea i achieved nothing!!im even sadder than what i was back then.

You ever hear Guruji say "Okay so and so, I've been running your heart from birth till present, now please I want to give up."?!

Hard to imgaine him even saying this since he loves us so unconditionally. =)

Why don't you try loving him the same way? ---Unconditionally---accepting the other without any conditions. They can hate or love you, but you keep on loving them and then one fine moment they finally glance at you with so much more love. Love him like that...

Ray Mann Aisee Har Sion Preeth Kar Jaisee Chakavee Soor ||

Khin Pal Needh Na Sovee Jaanai Dhoor Hajoor ||

See him, feel him, know that...He is closer than close but seems far because of the curtains we call our MIND. Don't give up yet, there is so much more beauty on this path yet to be experienced. It is a path full of love and compassion. It's no time to give up. We keep on moving. =)

Plus, Waheguru, How can you be sad if you've follwed what the Hukam is/was for you? =)

What is hukam?

Hukameh Andar Sabh Ko, Bahar Hukam Na Koyeh

What you should do and what do should not do in the world, outside, is "BAHAR". This is your business. But if you follow the Hukam, then he takes care of this as well.

What you should do to come inside and evolve to a higher spiritual level is "ANDAR", and this is Hukam.

Shabad is HUKAM.

Prabh Ka Simran Sabh Te Uccha

Something happens to us and we blame it on HUKAM when it was really just us. =) Hukam is something so beautiful like the Divine itself. Suffering occurs do to our own karma.

Ape Beej Ape Hi Khah

If we had recoginzed the Hukam we wouldn't suffer internally at all. If you've noticed we suffer internally. Our inside is the one that suffers, bodily injuries just cause PAIN to the body tissue, but suffering is done by the soul. How to stop such sufferring? By recognizing the HUKAM.

Hukam is to recite Gurbani, it is to do meditation on the Shabad. Recognize the Hukam. Look inside you. Talk to your soul---often. =)

Look at a person who does meditation, no matter how worse the situation in their life maybe, the will always be in a blissful state. You need to meditate, hanji, MEDITATE.

Take care...You are a beautiful soul. Get in touch with your beauty through the Shabad. =)

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh.

[Papi]

to OP: I highly suggest and recommend that you read the book Change Your Brain Change Your Life. Here is a clip from a presentation done by the Author