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Had been searching for this thread for the past 1 hour. I am tired...

BUMP...

Do NOT have evil thoughts about anyone in your mind, especially someone of another gender. This is really really hard, but it is the only way I feel can help. You have a friend who is of your opposite gender,ok. Do NOT think bad or feel anything about t

hem. This way, if he/she calls you veerjee/bhenji in future, you wont have the..

Oh no! He/she called me veerjee/bhenji! Now I can't fool around/flirt with him/her!
...shock. And if things take a different turn, and you both reach a point of marriage, still you won't get any shock, as you never had any expectations. This way, no matter what happens, veerjee/bhenjee situation, or husband/wife situation, you won't get any shock, you will accept whatever comes, and why? because your mind was free from dirt and filth right from the beginning.

KinniyaaN vaDiyaaN vaDiyaaN gallaaN karda hunda si tongue.gif

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R_Kaur

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I was told something a while ago and found it inspirational. It was about one of the 13 Singhs, and I am assuming it was about Shaheed Jathedar Bhai Amrik Singh because they were very young.

One of the 13 Singhs (who I'm assuming was Bhai Sahib but will verify), was engaged at the time of their Shaheedi. What is inspirational though is that they still called their "fiance" Bhainji and fully saw her as a sister. Everyone around Bhai Sahib would be poking him and saying Singho you do not have to call her Bhainji anymore, you are engaged to her. And Singh ji said that he will always call her and see her as his own sister, until the actual day that they walk around Sri Guru Granth Sahib ji together and become husband and wife in the eyes of Vaaheguru. Until then, she is my sister, Bhai Sahib said.

"Tum Sio Jor, Avar Sang Toree"... These Gurmukhs are truly joined with Vaheguru and don't need any other relationship. This is true Sikhi; these Shaheed Singhs did not just die, but they lived and breathed for the Guru. This is why they are Amar, immortal, because they truly were above human standards in their love for God. They didn't just die but they lived, truly fully, carving a path for us to follow

I found this great because today many youth think dating before marriage is acceptable or they think that an engagement means "khulee shutee" and gives them a ticket to act married. In the Mukhatnama, we are told through Guru Sahib that we are not His Sikhs if we, without the Anand Karaj ceremony, treat people as nonbrothers/nonsisters (e.g. physically). It's so sad that we, as the Guru's children, do not realize this.

Parnaam Shaheeda Nu

Parnaam Shaheeda Nu

Parnaam Shaheeda Nu

Japnaam Singh

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That's exactly right R_Kaur. Only Anand Karaj changes our status with respect to a sister or a brother. Those genuinely interested in giving their lives to their Guru (and I'm certainly not talking about myself) find no room in their lives for inappropriate relationships with the opposite gender and of course that doesn't refer to just kaam/lust, but rather all of the other negative things associated with relationships (moh/emotional attachment and uhunkaar/ego definitely play a huge part as well.) Only when Guru Sahib blesses the relationship through Anand Karaj is acting like husband-wife appropriate. Pretending as if you have Guru Sahib's blessing before Anand Karaj is not correct at all. If you have the right priorities (i.e. naam/baanee/sevaa), the folly of these sorts of relationships comes into clear focus.

Japnaam Singh

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I think it's also appropriate to add that infatuations are very negative as well. Even if your thoughts aren't put into action, the thoughts themselves can have a very negative impact. They are an incredible distraction and it really is maayaa in one of its most blatant forms that is distracting you.

Finally after 4 years, things are a lot more clear. Thanks Gurujee :WW: pray.gif

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