Friends

[Beginner]

WJKWJF

With Gods mercy, I was trying to get more into Sikhism and realized now that friends can distract you from God, with all these outings and such, and that to get higher spiritually, you can't hang out with them a lot. Well, I was trying to separate myself from the crowd and love I had for my friends before is kind of wearing off (it was fake love I know) and I know that's good, but why do I feel guilty? How do I get over this feeling? I think it's because my mind feels bad for them because I distanced myself from them. Its like it's saying they loved you, and you turned your back on them. How do I make it understand?

[clarity]

Every person you hang out with will have an effect on your outlook and spiritual jeevan hence sadh sangat as preached by guru sahib the more positive spiritual people you hang out with the better your life simple really

I have felt much better after I stopped hanging around with negative people it will change your life it takes a little getting used to

[VanHelsingh]

We arrive on this earth alone, and we leave this earth alone. Whilst I'm not suggesting isolation, there comes a time when the individual must decide whether he or she wishes to sort out their jeevan, OR not upset the apple cart and continue fraternising with associates who may or may not have your best interests at heart.

Of course, if Waheguru intervenes and eliminates the obstacles in your path (non-violently of course :biggrin2:), then that person is most fortunate. Sadly most of us don't have this luck and tough decisions need to be made.

[HumSaadJanaaKaaKeera]

Vaaheguroo... This is taken from gurmatbibek.com

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.ExternalClass .ecxhmmessage P{padding:0px;}.ExternalClass body.ecxhmmessage{font-size:10pt;font-family:Tahoma;}As per a Mahavaak from Gurbani if one stays in the Sangat of Gursikhs, only then one falls in love with Vaheguru

ਸੰਤਾ ਸੰਗਤਿ ਮਿਲਿ ਰਹੈ ਤਾ ਸਚਿ ਲਗੈ ਪਿਆਰੁ ॥

On the other hand, friendship with such persons who don't have love for Naam and Vaheguru results in problems:

ਮਨਮੁਖ ਸੇਤੀ ਦੋਸਤੀ ਥੋੜੜਿਆ ਦਿਨ ਚਾਰਿ ॥

ਇਸੁ ਪਰੀਤੀ ਤੁਟਦੀ ਵਿਲਮੁ ਨ ਹੋਵਈ ਇਤੁ ਦੋਸਤੀ ਚਲਨਿ ਵਿਕਾਰ ॥

ਜਿਨਾ ਅੰਦਰਿ ਸਚੇ ਕਾ ਭਉ ਨਾਹੀ ਨਾਮਿ ਨ ਕਰਹਿ ਪਿਆਰੁ ॥

ਨਾਨਕ ਤਿਨ ਸਿਉ ਕਿਆ ਕੀਚੈ ਦੋਸਤੀ ਜਿ ਆਪਿ ਭੁਲਾਏ ਕਰਤਾਰਿ ॥1॥

(Friendship with Manmukhs is for four days only (shortlived). It does not take time in breaking of such friendship and this friendship results in evil tendencies (Vikaar). Ones who don't have fear of the True One (Vaheguru) and ones who don't have love for Naam; why have friendship with such people who have been led astray by Kartaar).

The above Gurbani Pankitis are very deep and lesson-giving. First Guru Sahib instructs us to not have associations with such people who don't have fear of Vaheguru and who don't have love for Naam because such association results in flow of sinful thoughts (Vikaars) in us but in the end Guru Sahib also informs us that Manmukhs are led astray by Kartaar Himself. The last Hukam is given to us so that we don't develop ego on our part and hatred for Manmukhs. Since they are led astray by Vaheguru, then this too must be true that if we are walking on the Path of Gursikhi, it is so because of grace of Vaheguru. So we should not become proud of being Gursikhs and should not have hatred for Manmukhs. We should avoid friendship with Manmukhs not because not out of hatred or pride but because it is the Hukam of Kartaar to do so.

Many a times, it has been noticed that when someone looks down on someone or mocks someone for committing a mistake, one finds oneself in a similar position, having committed a similar offense. So the stupidist thing to do is to mock someone or make fun of someone or look down on someone who has committed a mistake. All is happening as per the Divine Hukam of Vaheguru jee.

Presented below is a very pertinent Kabit from Bhai Gurdaas jee's Baani, that talks about different kinds of Sangat:

ਕਾਹੂ ਦਸਾਕੇ ਪਵਨ ਗਵਨ ਕੈ ਬਰਖਾ ਹੈ, ਕਾਹੂ ਦਸਾਕੇ ਪਵਨ ਬਾਦਰ ਬਿਲਾਤ ਹੈ ॥

ਕਾਹੂ ਜਲ ਪਾਨ ਕੀਏ ਰਹਤ ਅਰੋਗ ਦੋਹੀ, ਕਾਹੂ ਜਲ ਪਾਨ ਬਿਆਪੇ ਬ੍ਰਿਥਾ ਬਿਲਲਾਤ ਹੈ ॥

ਕਾਹੂ ਗ੍ਰਿਹ ਕੀ ਅਗਨਿ ਪਾਕ ਸਾਕ ਸਿਧਿ ਕਰੈ, ਕਾਹੂ ਗ੍ਰਿਹ ਕੀ ਅਗਨਿ ਭਵਨੁ ਜਗਤ ਹੈ ॥

ਕਾਹੂ ਕੀ ਸੰਗਤ ਮਿਲਿ ਜੀਵਨ ਮੁਕਤਿ ਹੁਇ, ਕਾਹੂ ਕੀ ਸੰਗਤਿ ਮਿਲਿ ਜਮੁਪੁਰਿ ਜਾਤ ਹੈ ॥549॥

1. Air of some direction is such that results in rainfall and air of some direction is such that disburses the clouds.

2. Some kind of water results in making the body healthy but drinking some kind of water results in the person crying in pain.

3. Fire in some houses helps in cooking food and fire in some houses burns the whole house down.

4. Company of some (people) results in making one Jeevan Mukat and company (Sangat) of some (people) takes one to Jampur (hell).

The last Pankiti shows that bad Sangat takes one to hell and good Sangat results in Jeevan-Mukti spiritual state. Under the influence of the modern civilization, many Gursikhs ignore this very important Hukam of Guru Sahib and make friendships with non-devotees without any qualms. Then they are found asking questions like why can't I get up at Amritvela or why can't I concentrate on Naam etc. How would one get up at Amritvela when one goes to Manmukhi gatherings that end late night? Even late gatherings of Gursikhs result in sometimes missing Amritvela, then how on Earth would attending late Manmukhi gatherings enable one to get up at Amritvela too?

May Guru Sahib always bless us with such Sangat that prompts us to engage in Naam Abhyaas alone.

A big portion of our rehitvaan life is totally dependent on our sincere Ardas and our karams, both of which are further dependent on SatGuru jee's grace. We can do Ardas to be blessed with Sarabloh Bibek, to be blessed with the Sangat of rehitvaan Gurmukhs, to be blessed with Amritvela, to be blessed with saas-giraas Naam Simran, the list goes on and on. If it is in not in our karams, we may never be blessed with any of this. However, if SatGuru jee wills, He can still bless us with all of this and burn off those negative karams. It is upto Him if He wants to give these baksheeshaan to us or not. We can just do Ardas and beg. If we are gifted, amazing! If not, then we will stay stuck where we are. ਬੰਦੇ ਬੰਦਗੀ ਇਕਤੀਆਰ ॥ ਸਾਹਿਬੁ ਰੋਸੁ ਧਰਉ ਕਿ ਪਿਆਰੁ ॥

ਸਲੋਕਡਖਣੇ ਮ: ੫ ॥

ਨਾਨਕਕਚੜਿਆਸਿਉਤੋੜਿਢੂਢਿਸਜਣਸੰਤਪਕਿਆ ॥

ਓਇਜੀਵੰਦੇਵਿਛੁੜਹਿਓਇਮੁਇਆਨਜਾਹੀਛੋੜਿ ॥੧॥

Chatrik also hopes to add some minor points, which he has learned from his experience.

Those who are in Gursikhi saroop(many sadly in bana) but are NOT agiakari(obedient) towards SatGuroo also fall into the category of manmukhs you have talked about.

Because their true sanj(partnership) is not with Naam & SatGuroo. They may sing/read gurbani+wear bana but constanly being intouch with such sangat, will eventually make one loose the russ of Naam in ones jeevan.

Amritwela is one indicator if one should do the sangat of any individual or not.

Dass has personally encountered many who question this Hukam from Gurbani and tend to blindly lable gursikhs as hangkari. What they dont realize is, all such things that gursikhs do, are done to guard ones Jeevaan and crop of Naam.

Maybe SatGuroo keep us humble and away from such KUsangat!