Are You Becoming A Better Person?

[VanHelsingh]

I've been an active member of this website since November of last year. During that time, it's fair to say I've encountered a myriad of opinions and views from a wide range of Sikhs from all over the world. Some I've agreed with, others I don't and I think I've been honest in trying to express my true feelings on issues which have piqued my interest.

We all know that, as Sikhs, we must constantly strive for self-improvement by working on our inherent weaknesses, and ultimately becoming decent, well-rounded individuals (and Sikhs) for the benefit of not only ourselves, but for the wider world whether they be the faceless people we encounter on this website, or people we come across in "real life".

I guess its a simple set of questions (answer them in any order you want. No need for lists if you don't want to):

Do you feel you have improved as a person in the past few years (or any other amount of time depending on personal experiences)?

Have you tried to eliminate (or at least control) those five thieves that we are constantly told to reign in?

Do you feel as if you've become a better person due to learning more about Sikhi?

What negative traits in your personality have you managed to successfully change? Are there still aspects of your persona you'd like to improve, and if so, what are they?

I guess the reason for this sudden bout of introspection is a long-running period of upheaval in my own life. Outside of that, something as innocuous as a few crossed words with a fellow SS member began this trail of thought late last night. I actually found myself stepping back and analysing whether I was at fault, and whether - if I removed my ego from the situation - I was responsible for at least part of the disagreeable feelings of animosity.

One surprising idea (for me anyway) that I've gradually began to adhere to over the past few weeks and months, is a desire not to engage in any unnecessary conflict either in my day-to-day life or even with fellow Sikhs on this website. I always had to have the last word - I couldn't bear to "lose". My anger was out of control and got me into a lot of trouble. Let me say that I'm not a hasty individual or a troublemaker. Most of the time I'm a pretty mellow guy. But when the red mist descends, I do turn in a flash and its not pretty.

Now, that kind of behaviour leaves a terrible taste in my mouth, and it made me question whether I was actually learning anything from Sikhi or was I just paying lip service in order to appear like a good guy. Obviously there's a time when a person must speak up and you can't constantly let things slide - we're not Buddhists are we, lol?

There's a few other issues I could identify (I've got a long, LONG way to go) but I'd like to learn what the sangat thinks first. So take it away!

[Dev1975]

Do you feel you have improved as a person in the past few years (or any other amount of time depending on personal experiences)?

Have you tried to eliminate (or at least control) those five thiefs that we are constantly told to reign in?

Do you feel as if you've become a better person due to learning more about Sikhi?

What negative traits in your personality have you managed to successfully change? Are there still aspects of your persona you'd like to improve, and if so, what are they?

I'll go first I guess....

1. I feel that I have definitely changed as a person, especially in light of the situations I've been in and what I've learned about myself and other people. Has this been an improvement in me, in the type of person that I am? I'm not in a position to say, only someone who's known me for a long period of time could tell you anything approximating an answer.

2. I have been able to control majority of the thieves, anger is still one that needs control. I do feel like I've bottled up a lot of anger inside over the years, I need to learn to let it go and not to let things (and people) get to me now. I know that's a long, hard road but every journey starts with a single step, and I feel I've made a few already.

3. I feel like I've become a slightly more knowledgeable person due to knowing more about my faith, doesn't make me better or worse than the next person. Besides which, to be a decent human being is the important thing, you can learn to be a decent Sikh afterwards.

4. I haven't changed any of my negative traits, I may have more control over them and not let them manifest as often but I wouldn't say that it was a successful change by any stretch of the imagination. I would like to be more courageous, stand up for myself and others more and stand my ground when my views are challenged. If our Gurus could stand up for what they believed in and for the freedom of others, then I should aspire to do the same.

Hope that's of some use, apologies if I may have offended or upset anyone with what I've said.

[foolish]

good question,

honest answer is no - there have been times when i felt like i have made progress, but then other times when ive fallen flat on my face.

this path is definitely not easy, but the rewards............

[VanHelsingh]

Yeah for sure. It's a difficult path to tread but I think as Sikhs, the knowledge we have at our disposal makes such a journey considerably easier.

[SarabjeetS]

don't know . I am a confused 21 year old . I tend to make same mistakes again