Butterfly Effect

[Guest gupt]

About a month back I found out about something that happened with some people we know.

I don't want to write too specifically as its someone's private business but there is a very important thing to learn which I think we should all bear in mind.

There was a couple out shopping and some stranger insulted the wife while in a shop, eventually it lead to a very heated confrontation between the husband and the stranger. Because the confrontation was so heated the wife started shouting at her husband to get out of it and walk out the shop with her.

Once this confrontation was over the husband and wife themselves got into a very heated argument (about the confrontation) - long story short, as a direct result of this whole incident they got a divorce.

In my view there is clearly a great deal of responsibility for this divorce on the part of the stranger who insulted the wife in the shop. Without that stranger's wrong act, that particular argument between the husband and wife would never have happened and arguably there would have been no divorce.

Yes we could argue that the relationship must have had its own underlying problems, another argument may have occured later which didn't involve anyone else and then they would have divorced anyway.

But the fact is that in this case the argument was caused by this stranger.

What I think we should learn is to be careful of our every action and word. Like I said this may seem simple but if its so simple why is there still so much anger, hatred and sadness around?

We have no idea what our one word or action might do to someone. We cannot possibly fathom what is in another person's mind. It could well be the last straw.

That stranger in the shop got irritated by something the wife did and rather than having humility or understanding, he placed the value of his own gratification, his own reasoning above anything or anyone else. He got out what he wanted to get out, what did he care about what effect it would have on the other? What did he care of what might have been going on in that other person's life?

We have lost our humanity.

In many ways we see the above mirrored in people involved in Sikhi, most definately in many discussions on message boards.

We want to prove ourselves right, our views, our personality, whatever little ego trip (might be hidden in any garb we convince ourselves, "its 'seva' ", "its 'righteousness' ").

We make all sorts of excuses to rationalise our actions, to dehumanise the 'enemy' (whoever that may be). Then we can do anything we want. This is a path which will lead us to ruin.

Just remember there is a human at the other end. A human with many complexities, much more than we can imagine. That human, that heart is more important than ANYTHING in this creation. More important than dogma, more important than some mission 'we' decided to embark on, more important than preaching. This human heart is so important that Vaheguru himself came to Earth in ten forms and revealed his own form of Gurbani to save it, to cherish it.

Learn to love.

ਸਾਚੁ ਕਹੋਂ ਸੁਨ ਲੇਹੁ ਸਭੈ ਜਿਨ ਪ੍ਰੇਮ ਕੀਓ ਤਿਨ ਹੀ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਪਾਇਓ ॥੯॥੨੯॥

I speak Truth, all should turn their ears towards it: only that one, who is absorbed in True Love, he would realize the Lord. 9.29.

The lovers WILL be seperated from the preachers.

[Guest G]

I think the latter part of this post is arguably one of the better posts on this forum and yet unsurprisingly very few people have commented. I was reading a book the other day and it said something along the lines of..its funny how we care more about our plants than we do about fellow human beings. We all make mistakes but in my humble opinion, I think what this is about is a general lack of reflexivity, where people fail to consider the potential consequences of their actions on others. As easy as this is to speak about, just like anything worth doing...its not particularly easy. Yet this is what Sikhi is about, at least this is what it is about for me.

[DustOfTheSaintsFeet]

rather than having humility or understanding, he placed the value of his own gratification, his own reasoning above anything or anyone else. He got out what he wanted to get out, what did he care about what effect it would have on the other? What did he care of what might have been going on in that other person's life?

We have lost our humanity.

Just remember there is a human at the other end. A human with many complexities, much more than we can imagine. That human, that heart is more important than ANYTHING in this creation. More important than dogma, more important than some mission 'we' decided to embark on, more important than preaching. This human heart is so important that Vaheguru himself came to Earth in ten forms and revealed his own form of Gurbani to save it, to cherish it.

Learn to love.

ਸਾਚੁ ਕਹੋਂ ਸੁਨ ਲੇਹੁ ਸਭੈ ਜਿਨ ਪ੍ਰੇਮ ਕੀਓ ਤਿਨ ਹੀ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਪਾਇਓ ॥੯॥੨੯॥

I speak Truth, all should turn their ears towards it: only that one, who is absorbed in True Love, he would realize the Lord. 9.29.

Satnaam

These bits really stood out in your post. I have been slandered by many when going through stages of bhagti..

Looking back, I was heartbroken at the things people did and said(Gurbani says never break another's heart). I used to pick up peoples pain(This happens to bhagats at a point) and wonder how people could be so cruel, that I was absorbing their hurt and pain and they were hitting me when I was down- giving me more pain to add on to it.

Then I realised that it was all Hukam- it was all God's plan- it made me a stronger bhagat- I realised for myself that the slander was a Huge blessing- It broke down my ego- made me realise I couldn't do anything on my own and that He is the only doer. It taught me to be the lowest of the low- and it was Him who was teaching me in the costume of my slanderers. It taught me to open my heart and see Him in every form, in every costume and scenario He appeared to me in.

Love Him in your slanders, your tormentors, love Him in the devil(and remember that even the most evil demons live in pain, as deserved), in the angel, in heaven and hell(positive and negative karams). True acceptance of Him and His will is True Love.

This life is a khel- a test world to discover Truth. We may learn not to upset people, to watch ourselves and our actions, but if others choose not to- that is just hukam. We can teach them, but even if they don't listen, we must truly accept that they are at their own stage of discovery as He wills it

We must not judge them, for they are unrealised God's- walking, speaking, slandering at His command. We must understand it is not yet their time to discover the Truth. This is respecting and accepting God's Will- this is True Love.

God bless you

Kiv sacẖi▫ārā ho▫ī▫ai kiv kūrhai ṯutai pāl.

So how can you become truthful? And how can the veil of illusion be torn away?

Hukam rajā▫ī cẖalṇā Nānak likẖi▫ā nāl. ||1||

O Nanak, it is written that you shall obey the Hukam of His Command, and walk in the Way of His Will.

Hukmī hovan ākār hukam na kahi▫ā jā▫ī.

By His Command, bodies are created; His Command cannot be described.

Hukmī hovan jī▫a hukam milai vadi▫ā▫ī.

By His Command, souls come into being; by His Command, glory and greatness are obtained.

Hukmī uṯam nīcẖ hukam likẖ ḏukẖ sukẖ pā▫ī▫ah.

By His Command, some are high and some are low; by His Written Command, pain and pleasure are obtained.

Iknā hukmī bakẖsīs ik hukmī saḏā bẖavā▫ī▫ah.

Some, by His Command, are blessed and forgiven; others, by His Command, wander aimlessly forever.

Hukmai anḏar sabẖ ko bāhar hukam na ko▫e.

Everyone is subject to His Command; no one is beyond His Command.

Nānak hukmai je bujẖai ṯa ha▫umai kahai na ko▫e. ||2||

O Nanak, one who understands His Command, does not speak in ego. ||2||

[VanHelsingh]

What a great post. It's something I'm working on as well, in terms of appreciating how even one wayward word can seem like a deluge of hurt to somebody else.

[Only five]

Just remember there is a human at the other end. A human with many complexities, much more than we can imagine.

You have not met the member chatanga.............he thrives to make others in the worse position and then curses at everything true and good in this world.

Obviously chatanga will want to get into a back and forth word war with me.......sorry nung, who can't find his goat............i won't get into it with you :biggrin2: :biggrin2:

And to other members.............i don't need a lecture.............Thank you

[Guest No insulting others]

Only5 you say that you wont get into 'a war of words' with another member on this forum; yet you start off with the mud slinging and personal insults all without provocation.

Shame all that hardcore rehet following and bani isn't taking effect on you yet!!! One day you will see the light.

[Guest gupt]

I am the author of the first post... I just want to clarify incase anyone misconstrued my message that this is not targetting people who follow 'hardcore rehat' or read bani. I myself come under the category of what many would call following hardcore rehat. In fact there is is no way we will ever get above these things without amrit, gurbani and rehat.

It is simply a general reminder to all to remember love, kindness, humanity and naam above everything else, it applies to all.

ਆਈ ਪੰਥੀ ਸਗਲ ਜਮਾਤੀ ਮਨਿ ਜੀਤੈ ਜਗੁ ਜੀਤੁ ॥

Aaee Panthhee Sagal Jamaathee Man Jeethai Jag Jeeth ||

See the brotherhood of all mankind as the highest order of Yogis; conquer your own mind, and conquer the world.

The original message applies not only to those enforcing maryada, etc (what some call 'hardcoreness'), but also this recent 'anti-rehat' trend, its almost as if somewhere along the lines of trying to keep moderate, a different breed of fantacism in the opposite end has emerged.

in reality both sides are wrong, both are trying to 'save' the other, both believe they are right above the other and that they have the right to go around enforcing this self created view.

All is in reality artificially created self importance- I'll admit I myself was once caught up in this. I think being involved in such a great issue as Sikhi, we start thinking of everything we do on an overly grand scale, my advice to many- have a good amritvela, follow Guru Sahib's instructions, and just go to the park lol. This is to both sides.

Post dedicated to infinity and being an insignificant nothing!