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Depressive as a boy?

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Guest Senseless

Hello ...

I recently had been by a docotr who diagnosed that I have depression... My life became so senselesss and grey in the past years.. I can´t handle things anymore.. Everything seems to be <banned word filter activated>! I feel no longer any sense in life... And the wrost thing is I feel ashamed, because I am keshdhari 'Sikh', I mean I love Waheguru and everything.. and I love Sikhi... But I can´t practice it proper... I am so lost... Now I feel , that I am disrespecting.. Sikhs by wearing turban and kesh... because I have depression.. becauseSikhs have never depression.... I mean I am looking like a Sikh, but inside I am not and dead.. and I don´t want to offend.. I mean I love SIkhi but I can´t practice. like doing path etc.. because I feel so 'tired' of life... My parents don´t know either... and no relative or anyone else.. I am just suffering silently... From outside, I am seem to be very happy and stuff.. but I am not...

I dont know what to do any longer... I mean I love my kesh.. and I would never cut it but in last time my mind is confusing me ... Because I constantly think that I am disrespcting what a true sikh is and represents... There is no other problem.... it isn´t for girls or stuff or for me.. it is just because I think I am disrespecting.. I mean Sikhs try to make the world a better place.. and I can´t count myself as one.... I mean everytime I read Bani my mind gets so happy and in joy.. like someone understands me... but everytime I interrupt I can´t ready further... Idon´t know why....

I dont want to cut my hair... what do you think.. am I disrespecting you ...? I feel so fcking bad ... as a boy... like a nobody.. a looser... I mean world would be better place with me... I never do or did any paap... but I jsut cant handle it anymore... I don´t deserve to live on this planet...

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Mhh, you need to see a doctor I guess.. or Sikhi helpline?

Sorry, can´t give advise , this sounds really sad :o

But you won´t offend if you wear Kesh, I mean this is the last thing that keeps you stick to Sikhi or not? Then i won´t recommend you to cut it.

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And I want to add.. In the last year I repeat my class, and had many troubles with my punjabi parents... Because they think if you repeat you are dumb or stupid ... But I am not... I am /was a very good student... and all my 'friends' and teachers say this as well.. but because of unforutante reasons with the school itself I just had to repeat... and from this time on I started not going to school or to absence from school... My dr. gave me certificate that I am ill and this I showed my teachers. I didin´t tell my parents that I dont went to school... I just said that subjects where cannceled... And they believe me... Because I am/was a good boy...

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I have seen people who have lost everything then also survived.....

If u are sikh.... u should always remember... Our Guru.........Guru Gobind Singh lost his father... mother... sons... everyone... but he was still standing erect to fight...

We should always remember that we are children og Guru Gobind Singh g.. we cannot say noo to life.. at any cost....

I have faced alot in life... my conditions was similar...my fate was not supporting me.. but i never said no to life... n always follow mu Guru's words...

Mero pio Guru Gobind singh g kade ni himmat hari.... te mai ta unhadi aulad aa mai kyo hara......

Sikhi ehi sikhandi.. ladke ke maroo je marna hai.... coward wakan te kutte marde... sher ni ............ :) :) Kar yaad apne guruwa nu.... ek ajeeb di himmat ayegii...

Sir te waal rakhan naal banda sikh ni hunda.... banda sikh sirf.... us rabb nu manan naal hunda..... Kesha di bedbi ni hundi... katale jaake.... sher banke ke jeya ni jaa rehaa... gidar banke jee ke wekhle :)

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Guest Senseless

I am 18.....And I don´t live in UK.... I live in a european country....Here where I live arent many Sikhs... I can´t practice because I am weak.. I have no strentgh... I just everytime think about things... But I never do ... I don´t know.. nothing makes sense... I have friends and stuff.. but I just feel dead inside.. like nobody can understand me and pain... I ask myself everyday, about suffering in the world etc... I mean we are sitting here.. while others for example in africa are dying.. fighting for food or water..... I don´t see the world as 'real' anymore... it Is just an illusion... that makes no sense... i have love for everything but in the same moment I haven´t... this is just a paradoxical...

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And I want to add.. In the last year I repeat my class, and had many troubles with my punjabi parents... Because they think if you repeat you are dumb or stupid ... But I am not... I am /was a very good student... and all my 'friends' and teachers say this as well.. but because of unforutante reasons with the school itself I just had to repeat... and from this time on I started not going to school or to absence from school... My dr. gave me certificate that I am ill and this I showed my teachers. I didin´t tell my parents that I dont went to school... I just said that subjects where cannceled... And they believe me... Because I am/was a good boy...

How old are you?

Why can't you practice it?

What is stopping you?

Why are you tired of life?

Where do you live?

Please contact the Sikh Help Line - -http://www.sikhhelpline.com/

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Which country and city/ town do you live?

You call your parents 'Punjabi' as if that's an alien concept for you. Are you not Punjabi, irrespective of where you were brought up? Were you adopted? Do you think its just Punjabis who think going a year behind is so of sort of failure - believe me, a parent from any race will probably have that gut reaction. However most parents are understanding (Punjabis especially!) you need to be more open with your parents.

You say you have been diagnosed - are you on treatment ie counselling or medication?

A hallmark of depression is demotivation and feeling tired, so I can understand why you cannot commit to your nitnem. This is not a bujjhar kurheit. Depression is a curable condition and once you are ready you can pesh - a pardhan or gyani should be told about this and then they will advocate your case in front of Panj. In such most cases where transgression was for a medical reason, Panj will simply say Ardas for you and you then just get on with it.

I wonder if you are just looking for an escuse to cut your kes?

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I know, you keep mentioning your khes in your post and how you don't want to cut it. Who said anything about cutting it ??

I agree with jangal da, and you are probably looking for an excuse to cut your case.

Look, listen, I will be straight here... If you feel like cutting it, then just do it !

I think that if you've actually thought about it or considered it, then you are half way there anyway. So you may as well just cut it and then see if you feel better.

It may help to take the weight of the world that you feel you have of your head.!!!

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Guest what!!

keep this in mind, whatever decision yuo make, be ready to be born and die 8.4 million times which is going to hurt you llike hell and the pain of the jamdoots is going to be unbearable. Do you really want that? do you?! Do you really want to wait for 7 and a half 'kror' years to be born as human again???? Ask yoursef these questions everytime you think of a paap. you said you haven't done any paap, your wrong, you have if your'e even thinking of ending this priceless gift given to you by te almighty. Whats harder, think, think it through properly. Is it easier to just continue with life and be a good sikh,, or is it easier to explain to Dharam Raaj, Serioulsly, as long as you havent comittd a bajurr kereht you are good, hopefully you'll become better and better and cleanse the mind. just convinvce yourself that yu gotta relax bro. take it easy and don't panic. Whatever happens happense in gods will, its all for a reason, if your'e getting food and shelter and afrcans aren't it is all in bhaanna at the end of the day, im not being harsh, i support charties and alll that, but this singh here is considering suicide, so Singh, listen, enjoy life and have fun, but stay in maryada, obviously.

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Guest Senseless

I live in Germany.... I feel ashamed to ruin the apperance of Khalsa.. that is why this paradoxical reason of Cutting Kesh entered my mind.. I seriously don´t want to cut it... This is the last culm that keeps me to SIkhi... If I am not offending anyone I am glad.. But I still have toughts of ending my life , in anyway.. I mean I everytime make a scenario in my brain ,where someone else is getting attacked or robbed... and I wouldn´t bother to jump in and give my life...

I esspecially called them Punjabis, because Punjabis are more sensible on this topic.. I myself am Punjabi ... I am not adopted or anything.. I just feel like a looser,, I mean as a BOY I got depression.... I dont understand all this.. I <banned word filter activated> try everything to get out of this but I am so tired... I mean Guru ji , is everything for me.. If I start readin Bani, I feel like someone understands me.. But when it comes to practice I fail hard... I am just like someone who can only talk... I am on counselling.. THe problem that bothers me much is that I am not going to school , or trying to avoid it as much as I can... and my teachers said if I don´t start coming to school , they will exclude me... I have a cumpolsory attendence rate..... I want to learn and go too school, I love it , but I can´t.. I feel like a [MOD EDIT].... I mean I want to be liberated from this world as fast as I can...

@Unbreakable

I can´t call Sikh Helpline... It is just to expensive, further I have an foreigner accent... Maybe they wont understand me... I would love to call... But I dont know..

I feel like a coward...

I think the world would be a better place without me...

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Guest what!!

I feel that you have just lost hope. The last thing you want to be doing is worrying about your studies. I know from experience that studying can be quite tormenting at times but i advice you to ignore anything that makes you feel negative. Education is important but you are at a very dangerous time, youre thinking extremeley deeply. Maybe you need someone you love and close to you, like good chardikala singhz maybe.

I dont fully understand this part, you feel like your ruining the khalsa reputation, BUT, in all seriousness you have not done anything wrong!

Change your way of thinking. You dont realize how lucky you are singh, you have been blessed with amrit, you are a singh, a son of Guru Kalgidhar Maharaj. God bless you. I hope all the best for you, we are all here for you. Waheguru.

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Its good you are getting counselling - like I said, depression is usually curable, especially at your age. It seems that you are feeling so low because you cannot do your sense of Sikhi any justice. While you are depressed it will be hard and displaced guilt like this is again symptomatic of the depression. Do your Sikhi justice by pulling through it and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

Focus on the fact that it is highly likely given that this is your first presentation of the illness, your age and the reactive element of your depression (percieved lack of attainment educationally), that within 6 months you'll be in chardhi kalla again.

Now make sure you've seen your doctor and have a chat with your parents.

Fateh.

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