How To Deal With Anger

[UsernameTaken]

Is there any specific paath I should do ?

You should try reading dukh bhanjani sahib! it is BEAUTIFUL! so easy to understand so it calms you down a lot...

and apparently on the Cd that I have at the start it announces that it helps deal with 'kalesh' so I think it might be ideal

Also its quite short, well actually it may vary slightly because the Gutka I have is different from the CD of dukh bhanjani sahib I have.

I suppose that's because Dkh bhanjani sahib is a collection of Bannis put together! the more the better :D

good luck and bhul chuk maaf ji

[UsernameTaken]

, I'v bursts of anger over the most pointless things sometimes. I don't stay angry but I can go from 0-10 within seconds and backdown again.

I understand exactly what you mean! I use to do this ALOT, I use to be angry one second and back to normal the next. What helped me was after getting angry when I thought about it in my head I'd make excuses for myself and justify my anger but when I told some else about it i.e. my sister- I felt like i had been a drama queen! This helped me because every time i think about being angry ill just automatically remember past incidents and think 'lets just be quiet because later on its going to feel pointless!'

If you don't have someone to talk to then another thing i did was i wrote in a diary, i wrote that diary to God so automatically my attitude changed, i was writing more humbly. I have this structure that goes like

'1.baba ji bla bla happened

2. i know i was wrong but bla bla ...

3.please help me..'

so technically i understood what i did wrong, knew what triggered it off and asked for maharaj jis support, whereas if when i write a normal diary i'd just be talking out of my ego!

krod zyadatr udo aunda jado insaan khud hunda hai te apne galti te parda paun lyi duje saamne uchi uchi bolda hai te apna hosh gva lenda hai......

^^ this is very true i noticed one thing in myself i usually got angry over petty things when my mind and concentration was somewhere else and when someone interrupted me, i just blurted out with anger!

Also i use to have this thing that at home , mentally i didn't want to admit i was wrong because in my eyes i wasn't but then once a thought came into my head that just as i think I'm right and have no doubt, in the same way the other person must be thinking that too and this calmed me down because then i try thinking from the other persons perspective and thought well actually who really is wrong - sometimes it might be that nobodies wrong and the argument was pointless.

I know you may be thinking ' who has the time to think about this when your angry' but you could think about it after you've calmed down because then it might help prevent a similar situation.

anyway bhul chuk maaf and i hope this helps, and don't worry too much sometimes its just a phase where your stressed and full of anger. Simple simran will also help because you'll feel peaceful inside and happier about yourself! And also remember we're all human and all get angry, nobody except god is perfect so don't beat yourself up too much!

[simran345]

Good ways to deal with it Usernametaken penji. Thanku for those ideas, I could do with using them.

[singhbj singh]

Though all opinions given above are respectable, but I would suggest the remedy given by our Guru Sahibans in the Bani.

Anger or krodh and sex or kaam, are just two of the 5 deadly vikars mentioned above, the remaining three are, lobh, moh and ahankaar.

Suppose we have some dirt(krodh) on our clothes, so that dirt can never be washed away with other dirt(sex or kaam), it has to be washed by soap, and here it is where we have to use that soap mentioned by our Gurus.

They say: Sarab aukhad ka Naam. The 5 vikaars are mental diseases on all of us, on some, some less, on others others more, but in any case, nobody is free from their effects.

What to say about ourselves, when even gods, godesses, rishis, munis, have fallen prey to their traps, nobody is free from them, as long as we are in the regions of Braham. It is only when we cross that region, and reach Parbraham, then only we are free, and out of their reach.

And so, to overcome these deadly diseases, we must drink the medicine of Naam, and drinking medicine of Naam, means to do the sadhna, the bhakti of Naam Simran.

Then only we shall overcome these enenmies once and forever, cross and reach Parbraham, not otherwise.

And in our past history we have ample examples: Ravan, inspite of being such a big devotee of Shiva, and inspite of acquiring so many powers, and because of not devoting himself to Naam for whatever reason maybe, he was full of krodh, ahankaar, kaam, lobh and moh...

Because of his lust, he stealed somebody´s wife; because of his pride, he wanted to conquer all the three worlds, because of his lobh, he wanted more and more everything, and becasue of his anger, he fought foolishly with Ram...

And so what was the consequence of all this, he died like a dog....

So our merciful Guru Sahibans, having pity on us weak humans, have given us the easiest and simplest method, without having to torture ourselves, to the extent that if we follow implicitly their instructions as per devotion, we shall merge in Wahiguru Akal Purukh, by first becoming pure and paviter.... This is their guarantee, and as we all know, they are the very embodiment of Akal Purukh. Whatever they utter, is the uttreance of Wahiguru, it is the Hukum of wahiguru.

It is our fault totally, we have the best taechers, our Guru Sahibans; the best dharam: sikhee...and stiil if we are suffering from these diseases, it is because of our "manmat" by not following Gurmat at all... then too we proudly call ourselves sikhs, shame on us.

Sikh is he/she, who implicity follows the wisdom of Gurmat.

And Gurmat, relies ony on Naam as the only objective. Sikh means student, means disciple, but if we do not follow the discipline, the wisdom of Gurmat... How do we dare call ourselves sikhs?

Sikhee is not politics, nor rituals, neither rules or regulations ....

Sikhee is following Gurmat exclusively as per Bani, all else is surplus, is paraphernalia....is maya, is koor .... Because sooner or later evrything shal pass away or decay, except the one Truth, Nam or Shabad, so if we attach ourselves with that Naam, we shall also become free, eternal and perfect, with Him, just as He is.

Sat Sree Akal.

Harsharan ji there is a difference between 'Tan di bhukh' & 'Man di bhukh', 'Dharam & Adharam'.

If Sex was abnormal then what was the need of Marriage !

Guru Sahibaan's, Bhagat & Pir Sahibaan's could have just read Gurbani,

Why did they get married ?

Having sex after Anand Karaj is Dharam, fooling around without marriage is Adharam.

Lust or Kaam takes over only if you are hungry for sex.

A married person is having sex with his/her spouse so they are no longer hungry, kaami or lustful.

[harsharan000]

Harsharan ji there is a difference between 'Tan di bhukh' & 'Man di bhukh', 'Dharam & Adharam'.

True, I do agree

If Sex was abnormal then what was the need of Marriage !

Sex is not abnormal, neither I said it was so, it is the craving, the indulgence in it ....which is kaam

Guru Sahibaan's, Bhagat & Pir Sahibaan's could have just read Gurbani,.

Guru Sahibans, need not read the Bani, they are the embodiment of Truth and all goodness. Plus, reading the Bani by itself does not take one very far....it is by putting into action what the Bani says, that will bring the difference in one for the better

Why did they get married ?

They married, well they know best what for, but first of all, it was to show and teach us that, to get God realization, one need not go to forests and lead a life of rishis or munis, of reclusion

Having sex after Anand Karaj is Dharam, fooling around without marriage is Adharam.

I do agree with this your satement

Lust or Kaam takes over only if you are hungry for sex.

True 100%

A married person is having sex with his/her spouse so they are no longer hungry, kaami or lustful.

Right 100%

Paa Jee, do not get me wrong, as you see I do agree with whatever you said, the thing is, there is a misconception somewhere, because I read in your post:

"A person can relieve stress/anger naturally by having sex. "

It sounds like you are giving a free license to the people, that if you are angry , have sex and you will get relieved....

Though I never went to the link you suggested, but whosoever reads this line, will understand, that if you are angry,so have sex, as nowhere you mentioned, that you reffered to sex between the four walls of marriage ..... But now from your upper post, it is clear.

So please do not get me wrong, ok?

By the way, the question of the original poster was on krodh, why to reach on kaam or lust ? What is the interrealtion between them? I don´t think there is any....one does not necessarily depend on the other

But anyhow, what if one is not married? I just suggested, that whether married or not married, if one is stained with lust or krodh, it is only the medicine of Nam, which will sudue them. Not only these 2 vikaars, but even, if one has all the 5 of them ....

No matter if one is married, but if you are an abhyasee, you will realize by His Grace alone, that, even having sex in married life is not filling you anymore, because the state one reaches by devotion to Him, is a superior state, a superior avastha, where you will leave all these things in a natural way, not by force....

But as said before, that case is only for those, who do bandagee or abhyaas, not otherwise .... it is a state of mind, a stage where one reaches with time and patience, not instantly like making coffee or tea....

Once the mind tastes Nam, it does not run after the impulses created by our senses or vikaars.: kaam, krodh, lobh, moh, ahankar .....

Thanks.

[UsernameTaken]

Good ways to deal with it Usernametaken penji. Thanku for those ideas, I could do with using them.

yaay i'm gald I was of some use!

[singhbj singh]

Paa Jee, do not get me wrong, as you see I do agree with whatever you said, the thing is, there is a misconception somewhere, because I read in your post:

"A person can relieve stress/anger naturally by having sex. "

It sounds like you are giving a free license to the people, that if you are angry , have sex and you will get relieved....

The articles are for general knowledge, content is health related so do have a look.

I am not promoting extra marital sex but making young singles aware that how married couple can vent their day to day anger from work, kids, in-laws etc in a natural manner.

Though I never went to the link you suggested, but whosoever reads this line, will understand, that if you are angry,so have sex, as nowhere you mentioned, that you reffered to sex between the four walls of marriage ..... But now from your upper post, it is clear.

"Incomplete knowledge is dangerous"

Readers are wise enough to know what's civil & what not !

So please do not get me wrong, ok?

I am getting you right :-)

By the way, the question of the original poster was on krodh, why to reach on kaam or lust ? What is the interrealtion between them? I don´t think there is any....one does not necessarily depend on the other

ਕਾਮੁ ਕ੍ਰੋਧੁ ਕਾਇਆ ਕਉ ਗਾਲੈ ॥

Kaam Krodhh Kaaeiaa Ko Gaalai ||

कामु क्रोधु काइआ कउ गालै ॥

Unfulfilled sexual desire and unresolved anger waste the body away,

2 ਰਾਮਕਲੀ ਓਅੰਕਾਰ (ਮ: ੧) ਗੁਰੂ ਗ੍ਰੰਥ ਸਾਹਿਬ : ਅੰਗ ੯੩੨ ਪੰ. ੨

Raag Raamkali Dakhni Guru Nanak Dev

ਜਿਉ ਕੰਚਨ ਸੋਹਾਗਾ ਢਾਲੈ ॥

Jio Kanchan Sohaagaa Dtaalai ||

जिउ कंचन सोहागा ढालै ॥

As gold is dissolved by borax.

2 ਰਾਮਕਲੀ ਓਅੰਕਾਰ (ਮ: ੧) ਗੁਰੂ ਗ੍ਰੰਥ ਸਾਹਿਬ : ਅੰਗ ੯੩੨ ਪੰ. ੨

Raag Raamkali Dakhni Guru Nanak Dev

Source - http://searchgurbani.com/scriptures/ang/932/line/39897

Both are related, otherwise why not mention all Five cardinal vice ?

But anyhow, what if one is not married? I just suggested, that whether married or not married, if one is stained with lust or krodh, it is only the medicine of Nam, which will sudue them. Not only these 2 vikaars, but even, if one has all the 5 of them ....

A wise man told me

"One can remain hungry but can't kill hunger"

You are confusing Need with Greed.

Sex is not kaam !

Kaam or Lust is unfulfilled sexual desire.

No matter if one is married, but if you are an abhyasee, you will realize by His Grace alone, that, even having sex in married life is not filling you anymore, because the state one reaches by devotion to Him, is a superior state, a superior avastha, where you will leave all these things in a natural way, not by force....

What's the point of teaching a primary student about Doctorate ( high stage )

Tell him something which he can comprehend & apply.

But as said before, that case is only for those, who do bandagee or abhyaas, not otherwise .... it is a state of mind, a stage where one reaches with time and patience, not instantly like making coffee or tea....

Waheguru's Kirpa nothing else !