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Is It Gurmat To Marry Someone Without Their Parents Consent?

Guest Confusedwannabkhalsa

By Guest Confusedwannabkhalsa,
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Guest Confusedwannabkhalsa

Guest Confusedwannabkhalsa

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wjkkwjkf

Is it gurmat to marry someone without their parents consent?

E.g me and this bibi have liked each other for years but her parents do not agree to this rista for a number of reasons e.g caste , money and so on.

Her parents still treat her like crap. they are some cult followers and not into sikhi at all. their daughter is amritdari hence the clash

my side the boys side agree , her family do not. she has tired and tired year after year.

Yes i know this is all my fault for entering a relationship before marriage. I could walk away from all this and marry whoever is "perfect" sikhi wise. But is that the gurmat action to take? I would be breaking her heart and going back on my word?

What does the sangat think? How does this marriage take place without her parents etc?

Its a long dragging issue.. Mature replies only.

Dhanvaad wjkkwjkf

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jkvlondon Grand Master

jkvlondon

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wjkkwjkf

Is it gurmat to marry someone without their parents consent?

E.g me and this bibi have liked each other for years but her parents do not agree to this rista for a number of reasons e.g caste , money and so on.

Her parents still treat her like crap. they are some cult followers and not into sikhi at all. their daughter is amritdari hence the clash

my side the boys side agree , her family do not. she has tired and tired year after year.

Yes i know this is all my fault for entering a relationship before marriage. I could walk away from all this and marry whoever is "perfect" sikhi wise. But is that the gurmat action to take? I would be breaking her heart and going back on my word?

What does the sangat think? How does this marriage take place without her parents etc?

Its a long dragging issue.. Mature replies only.

Dhanvaad wjkkwjkf

waheguru Ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh,

you say the parents are cult followers which one?

how did she manage to maintain rehit in such an atmosphere?

ultimately if you are amritdhari and able to support her fully perhaps you can get help from local amritdhari Singhs to represent you to the family and help make your case . Obviously you do not want to take a step which will dishonour your intended or her family. But she will have to go through some discomfort emotionally to marry a Gursikh, as they sound as if they will not consent to someone who doesn't share their beliefs.

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Guest Singh

Guest Singh

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If you are from US or Canada You are free to live on your own at the age of 18. There is no such thing as parental consent after this age. But keep your distance for your safety.

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luckysingh99 Grand Master

luckysingh99

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Gurmat doesn't come into it.............It's more a manmat issue because you are using the 'mat' of your mind and asking others minds as well.

So please don't get confused in trying to convince the opposing parties by saying you are acting in gurmat....They will only accuse you of trying to act righteous or be pretending because you may well be saying something like it's gurmat to marry out of caste, family status...etc..

HOWEVER, ...if you believe that the marriage between both of you will help you both lead a path inclined towards gurmat, then that is another thing !

(let me explain a little)

Please Note that a marriage in sikhi is not between the couple, but more importantly, between the the pair of you merging with Waheguru's jyot at the same time.

It 's not about 2 jyots become one, where your jyot blends with her's.....but it's about both of you blending together in Waheguru's jyot.....your 2 jyots become one with Waheguru.

Your wife should be the one that is your 24hr sadh sangat,..... the one that inspires you to be as gurmat to the max and vice versa...... You should both be encouraging each other to bring out the best sikhi and gurmat in each of you for the rest of your lives.

If you are strongly convinced that the pair of you fit this criteria, then you can tell the opposing parties that you both believe that you will lead and help each other towards the 'Sat/truth' whilst walking along in gurmat.

A sikhs path is to the purest form of the ONE SAT or truth. If a sikh feels that some force is oppressing or cutting this path, then you use all means necessary and Guru's hukam guides you. ......Then you are in pure hukam and in complete gurmat !

The question you have to ask yourselves is that do you both feel inclined in this way about each other ?

If so,...then yes, it may well be gurmat.

You need to cover all grounds, especially when approaching families involved in manmat cults.... because they will absolutely refuse to listen to a younger who thinks they are acting in gurmat. But if you can explain the above and about what both of you mean to each other..... it may help them question their own faults, weakness and manmat activities !!

Be prepared because some people (like some of my own family!) are hard work.

Good luck !

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buddasingh Grand Master

buddasingh

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A few things to think about. First, did you ask her the same question? What is her view? Is she mature in the extreme about her view? Challenge her, but do so with extreme honesty as to your motives and sensitivity. You understand her and she understands her parents. In challenging her, try to understand her parents.

Secondly, I don't doubt that there is some truth to your description of her family. However, if there is an outside chance of consent or even some kind of peace moving forward, you will have to try to understand the smallest concerns they have, even if those concerns are related to human failure. You will have to be able to view them from the perspective of understanding. You don't have to agree but if you can relate as a person to basic human emotions, you may have a clearer picture of exactly who is entitled to what degree of consent in the equation and what constitutes consent. Much of that also depends on age and maturity. Being 18 or 30 can be very different things.

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simran345 Grand Master

simran345

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wjkkwjkf

Is it gurmat to marry someone without their parents consent?

E.g me and this bibi have liked each other for years but her parents do not agree to this rista for a number of reasons e.g caste , money and so on.

Her parents still treat her like crap. they are some cult followers and not into sikhi at all. their daughter is amritdari hence the clash

my side the boys side agree , her family do not. she has tired and tired year after year.

Yes i know this is all my fault for entering a relationship before marriage. I could walk away from all this and marry whoever is "perfect" sikhi wise. But is that the gurmat action to take? I would be breaking her heart and going back on my word?

What does the sangat think? How does this marriage take place without her parents etc?

Its a long dragging issue.. Mature replies only.

Dhanvaad wjkkwjkf

Fully agree with luckysingh99 paji, very gud answer ji.

I think her parents will never agree, and probably are hoping she will give n follow watever they are. But that will be Aldo destroying her life. If u really care and if u love her then it is also in ur concern to protect her to going the wrong way.

The thing is you have to work to convince them that ur gud for their daughter, as end of day she's their daughter. So on one side u can save her depending on how strong she is and other side maybe save the family too. It's hard but do ardas To Waheguru ji and they will do wat is right thing. Gud luck ji.

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