Sister Is Marrying Out Of Faith

[Guest crazy]

One can say arranged marriage is manmati and paap in sikhi.

Where does it say this? So you think dating is ok but arranged marriage is not?

We should also take greater care with cliché racist overtones eg. 'western dating'.

how is this racist? how does it apply to race?

You realize so called western nations were arranging marriages just over 100 years ago.

[buddasingh]

It's understood if you are pained and disappointed. But think about the shame, why shame? Perhaps initially there are many emotions. But shame, at a certain point, should not be one of them. It is your surrounding cultural context of caste, klan and honor in 'controlling' women that hoists this shame upon you.

It is understood if you do what you can to convince her otherwise. But at a certain point, you and your dad have to realize that you are not your sisters keepers. Family/Klan is complex. It brings joy and pain. There is a great deal of hidden pain in families and sometimes the pain of shame is the greater part. That is not the failure of the klan but our collective cultural failure.

The shame that is due to caste and klan alliances belongs to the culture that makes us that think that way. The shame that is due to not being able to 'control' your sister also belongs to the misogynistic culture around you. I know you speak out of extreme pain, but talk of preferring a woman dead due to family honor is part of a misogynistic indo culture that has no place in Sikhi. Know that there are intelligent Sikhs and a family of humanity around you that will support you and your dad (and wish greater wisdom for your sister in her life). We will judge not you in your pain, but support you, and be disgusted by those that judge you.

If your own identity is true, it is defined by how you deal with what your klan does, not what your klan does. Take care of your own physical and mental health in order to assist your family to deal with this. You remain strong, not weak. There will be winds and storms that you can not change and when you realize that should not try, but control how you respond and you'll move mountains.

sister is stating sheloves a hindu boy.

I told her I Felt ashamed, and can't believe she would put unnecessary dukh on my dad, who had worked his whole life, to put food on the table. I feel I Failed as a brother, she said would you rather want me dead or with this person. Honestly, I said to her dead, because she would be killing my dad sooner.

[Guest Op]

I would say feel ashamed as my parents took her to Khalsa school, raised to go to the gurdwaras, and honestly showed us so much love. I told her what about guru gibind singh , a lot of the people are talking bout worldly love, what bout the love for our religion

[Guest singh]

waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh

took her to khalsa school. but does she live as khalsa

raised to go to gurdwara. but does she want to go

you can love your religion all you want

but dont forget about god

sikhi is not something we believe in or something we have faith in

its a way of life

you cant think she walking away from something

when she might not even have walked it

no one belongs to us

her sikhi is between her and guru ji

not you

worry about your own

you can give advice but if she doesnt accept it

then you need to accept hukam

bhana

the will of god

if it hurts your dad its something he needs to understand too

[singhsingh2015]

The panth said Sikh s should marry Sikhs. If we don't there won't be no more Sikhs. Just lots of ppl believing inbits of this and bits of that .

To me that sounds to much like Hindu. Where there no clear definition. At least Sikhs got Sikh maryada. Just saying. No offense