Jump to content

I Need Advice


Guest crazy kaur
 Share

Recommended Posts

Guest crazy kaur

I need help bcus i keep getting too attched to people, like ill want the person to be all mine, im not talking about lover, i mean as family... i.e. my close cousins ... like ill try really hard and always look forward to get togethers so when i see them kinda mingling with other far relatives who dont really try too hard. . I get really upset from the inside.. its kind of eating me away bcus i get do entangled into the love they give me and get protective and jealous ...

i just cant seem to accept that everyone is going to talk to everyone, just as i do, if i can do it then why do i get jealous when others are... i think its an insecurity in myself bcus i feel that they wont think im the really nice person they all say i am...n will like others better.

thank vaheguru i have never done anything to provoke hatred for others in their minds but this whole feeling is killing me alive...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thats quite a admission benji not many people are so open about their short comings, reminds me off a talk Guys spiers a Value investor gave where talked (ill link because i think we can get knowledge and wisdom from all walks of life) about after graduating Oxford and talking business at Harvard he felt the world owed him a large salary, and the worldly things that came with it. As a investment banker he worked at a firm which has less than savory attitude to morals, he goes on to say he suffered envy, jealousy at other people who were more successful and were doing better.

What Gurbani says about these thoughts are they are brought on by Kaal, which controls the Punj choor which is apart of the 3 guuns Guru Amar Das jee talks about in Anand shiab, where the wold is a sleep in Tria Gun, Rajo, Tamo, Sato,

thrai gun keeaa pasaaraa ||

He formed the expanse of the entire universe from the three gunas, the three qualities

thrai gun aap sirajian maaeiaa mohu vadhhaaeiaa ||
He Himself formed the three gunas, the three qualities; He increased the attachment to Maya.

thrai gun maaeiaa khael bhar bhar dhhovee||
The Maya with her three gunas (qualities - rajas, tamas and sattv) plays her games and sometimes fills the man (with hopes and desires) and at another time empties him totally frustrating his plans.

There is no quick fix benji of stopping these thoughts, it will take time and effort but Guru Jee has given us the tools to combat these three guns and ultimately conquer Maya, like a previous post i made, a minimum amount of Simran a day as a Sikh should be no less that 2 hours 40 miniutes, though depending on your hunger for gur-sikhi jevan and how long you maybe currently doing simran/bani, it may sound daunting, i would suggest if it seems like to much start with 40 mins in the morning 40 mins in the eve, and build it up.

Secondly its good you are aware of the thought in your mind, be aware of them and target the thoughts you think in the short term you can try to work on which arnt so heavy, then move to the next over a while months you will see progress threw the simran and actively combating thoughts you will see real progress.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share

  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt


  • Topics

  • Posts

    • If relationship with Guru is strong, then kanga is done twice a day, and turban should never be taken off or put on like a hat, there is a lot wrong with that as it is against rehit! maryada is to take off every layer of turban/pagh/dumalla individually, and tie fresh turban each time!
    • the whole 'your husband/wife is chosen for you'/sanjog thing is real, it's just that a lot of people end up marrying the wrong person. they did not end up with the person that was meant for them. my friend, you should marry someone who you feel a connection with and love. there are millions of sikh girls, i'm sure you can find someone who aligns with your sensibilities and who you can truthfully say that you love. sikhi does not say anything against love marriages. you can also be in a loveless arranged marriage which is a safe option b/c both families are more inclined to keep the union intact. i was one of those people who was like meh, i guess i'll just get arranged to some sikh. well i finally started dating for the first time this year and i'm getting married to someone that i love and cannot even imagine leaving. i think it's better to have lost & lost than never loved at all. unfortunately, a lot of people confuse love w/ looks & lust. a lot of men go for the fittest girl they can find and think they won the jackpot or something. in reality, your partner should be like an extremely loved best friend. there's a reason why it's a fact that the most stable and long-lasting relationships started as friendships.  i also think a lot of women are petty and divorce over small reasons, but there's other terrible things like high cheating rates as well. that's why the divorce rate in the west is high. be careful out there.
    • andrew tate praises sikhi too & likes sikhs. his brother also donated to sikh families iirc. they just like any "alpha" religion and tbh islam is the most "alpha" in their eyes. islam is very good at promoting that image. but imo a real alpha man doesn't command respect by beating up his wive(s) or forcing them to wear a burqa. a real man will have his woman listen to him w/o raising a hand or his voice, and command respect by being respectful. he leads by example and integrity. that's true masculinity. you get the idea. + yes, it's definitely true that islam is growing rapidly and making massive inroads. strength in numbers + belief will do that. but rlly it's just because of the birth rate. a lot of them are muslim b/c it's their "identity" just like how a lot of young sikhs will say they're "culturally sikh" or whatever. there just aren't billions of sikhs who lambast their identity everywhere and have strict and linear rules like in islam. besides, the reality is that islam and its followers are some of the most morally bankrupt. you can see all the weird trans rules in iran, bacche baazi in afghanistan, visiting brothels, watching p*rn, p*dophilia what goes on behind the scenes in countries like uae & qatar, etc, and come to your conclusions. you can google all the stats yourself and see which countries do the most of these ^.   
    • stop associating with hinduism, that's the absolutely worst thing you can do as a sikh. not sure if you noticed but the entire world looks down upon and spits at india & hindus, literally no one respects them and considers them weak and cowardly. literally 1+ billion of them but not perceived as a strong religion commandeering respect. 
    • you wrote a whole lot but told us nothing. what exactly did you do wrong to make you feel this way?
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use