Enjoying Married Life

[sikhni777]

It's sounds to me a marriage license is the ticket out of hell. It's like James Bond license to kill. Fast cars, lots of women, drinking, dressing nice, nice vacations, and multiple living spaces. Can you point out where all this is approved. I'm surprised to read where the Guru would approve of such instinctual behavior. Very excited to hear back from you.

You have got all the reason to be greatly excited because there is very exciting news for you in black and white. (as you always require)

Assuming you are a Gurmukh, this is what has been written about marriage in the SGGS Ang 372

However it does mean that you can do whatever you want. You have to exercise self control and make the right choices. Enjoyment does not always lie in fast cars and etc....(I wonder where you get all that from- hyperactive brain)

The Guru has not preached instinctive behaviour anywhere. It is the enjoyment of life and getting the bliss and satisfaction out of every breath you take and be thankful for it and use it to become one with your creator. Marriage is a state where you get to practice the best of your virtues with a partner to help. You contribute the most important things to the human race and to your religion as well.

If you sit and moan and don't enjoy and use your married life and be happy and fruitful with it, then you have only yourself to blame. If you only choose to look at the half side of the cup which is empty then it is your own misgiving. You reap depression and sorrow and end up regretting why you got married at all. Up and alive, active spirit, teyaar bar teyaar always thankful and ready to help others is the spirit of the Khalsa.

Marriage is not a black and white written book of no nos given to us. The amount of ignorance and negative thoughts prevalent amongst us is shocking keeping in mind that we have been given the best spiritual guidance in the world - the SGGS. The rates of divorces, depression, child abuse, wife abuse and sad empty depressing marriages and married people too is alarming!!!

Āsā mėhlā 5.

Aasaa, Fifth Mehl:

ਗੁਨੁ ਅਵਗਨੁ ਮੇਰੋ ਕਛੁ ਨ ਬੀਚਾਰੋ ॥

गुनु अवगनु मेरो कछु न बीचारो ॥

Gun avgan mero kacẖẖ na bīcẖāro.

He does not consider my merits or demerits.

ਨਹ ਦੇਖਿਓ ਰੂਪ ਰੰਗ ਸੀਗਾਰੋ ॥

नह देखिओ रूप रंग सींगारो ॥

Nah ḏekẖi▫o rūp rang sīʼngāro.

He does not look at my beauty, color or decorations.

ਚਜ ਅਚਾਰ ਕਿਛੁ ਬਿਧਿ ਨਹੀ ਜਾਨੀ ॥

चज अचार किछु बिधि नही जानी ॥

Cẖaj acẖār kicẖẖ biḏẖ nahī jānī.

I do not know the ways of wisdom and good conduct.

ਬਾਹ ਪਕਰਿ ਪ੍ਰਿਅ ਸੇਜੈ ਆਨੀ ॥੧॥

बाह पकरि प्रिअ सेजै आनी ॥१॥

Bāh pakar pari▫a sejai ānī. ||1||

But taking me by the arm, my Husband Lord has led me to His Bed. ||1||

ਸੁਨਿਬੋ ਸਖੀ ਕੰਤਿ ਹਮਾਰੋ ਕੀਅਲੋ ਖਸਮਾਨਾ ॥

सुनिबो सखी कंति हमारो कीअलो खसमाना ॥

Sunibo sakẖī kanṯ hamāro kī▫alo kẖasmānā.

Hear, O my companions, my Husband, my Lord Master, possesses me.

ਕਰੁ ਮਸਤਕਿ ਧਾਰਿ ਰਾਖਿਓ ਕਰਿ ਅਪੁਨਾ ਕਿਆ ਜਾਨੈ ਇਹੁ ਲੋਕੁ ਅਜਾਨਾ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥

करु मसतकि धारि राखिओ करि अपुना किआ जानै इहु लोकु अजाना ॥१॥ रहाउ ॥

Kar masṯak ḏẖār rākẖi▫o kar apunā ki▫ā jānai ih lok ajānā. ||1|| rahā▫o.

Placing His Hand upon my forehead, He protects me as His Own. What do these ignorant people know? ||1||Pause||

ਸੁਹਾਗੁ ਹਮਾਰੋ ਅਬ ਹੁਣਿ ਸੋਹਿਓ ॥

सुहागु हमारो अब हुणि सोहिओ ॥

Suhāg hamāro ab huṇ sohi▫o.

My married life now appears so beauteous;

ਕੰਤੁ ਮਿਲਿਓ ਮੇਰੋ ਸਭੁ ਦੁਖੁ ਜੋਹਿਓ ॥

कंतु मिलिओ मेरो सभु दुखु जोहिओ ॥

Kanṯ mili▫o mero sabẖ ḏukẖ johi▫o.

my Husband Lord has met me, and He sees all my pains.

ਆਂਗਨਿ ਮੇਰੈ ਸੋਭਾ ਚੰਦ ॥

आंगनि मेरै सोभा चंद ॥

Āʼngan merai sobẖā cẖanḏ.

Within the courtyard of my heart, the glory of the moon shines.

ਨਿਸਿ ਬਾਸੁਰ ਪ੍ਰਿਅ ਸੰਗਿ ਅਨੰਦ ॥੨॥

निसि बासुर प्रिअ संगि अनंद ॥२॥

Nis bāsur pari▫a sang anand. ||2||

Night and day, I have fun with my Beloved. ||2||

ਬਸਤ੍ਰ ਹਮਾਰੇ ਰੰਗਿ ਚਲੂਲ ॥

बसत्र हमारे रंगि चलूल ॥

Basṯar hamāre rang cẖalūl.

My clothes are dyed the deep crimson color of the poppy.

ਸਗਲ ਆਭਰਣ ਸੋਭਾ ਕੰਠਿ ਫੂਲ ॥

सगल आभरण सोभा कंठि फूल ॥

Sagal ābẖraṇ sobẖā kanṯẖ fūl.

All the ornaments and garlands around my neck adorn me.

ਪ੍ਰਿਅ ਪੇਖੀ ਦ੍ਰਿਸਟਿ ਪਾਏ ਸਗਲ ਨਿਧਾਨ ॥

प्रिअ पेखी द्रिसटि पाए सगल निधान ॥

Pari▫a pekẖī ḏarisat pā▫e sagal niḏẖān.

Gazing upon my Beloved with my eyes, I have obtained all treasures;

ਦੁਸਟ ਦੂਤ ਕੀ ਚੂਕੀ ਕਾਨਿ ॥੩॥

दुसट दूत की चूकी कानि ॥३॥

Ḏusat ḏūṯ kī cẖūkī kān. ||3||

I have shaken off the power of the evil demons. ||3||

ਸਦ ਖੁਸੀਆ ਸਦਾ ਰੰਗ ਮਾਣੇ ॥

सद खुसीआ सदा रंग माणे ॥

Saḏ kẖusī▫ā saḏā rang māṇe.

I have obtained eternal bliss, and I constantly celebrate.

ਨਉ ਨਿਧਿ ਨਾਮੁ ਗ੍ਰਿਹ ਮਹਿ ਤ੍ਰਿਪਤਾਨੇ ॥

नउ निधि नामु ग्रिह महि त्रिपताने ॥

Na▫o niḏẖ nām garih mėh ṯaripṯāne.

With the nine treasures of the Naam, the Name of the Lord, I am satisfied in my own home.

ਕਹੁ ਨਾਨਕ ਜਉ ਪਿਰਹਿ ਸੀਗਾਰੀ ॥

कहु नानक जउ पिरहि सीगारी ॥

Kaho Nānak ja▫o pirėh sīgārī.

Says Nanak, when the happy soul-bride is adorned by her Beloved,

ਥਿਰੁ ਸੋਹਾਗਨਿ ਸੰਗਿ ਭਤਾਰੀ ॥੪॥੭॥

थिरु सोहागनि संगि भतारी ॥४॥७॥

Thir sohāgan sang bẖaṯārī. ||4||7||

she is forever happy with her Husband Lord. ||4||7||

I wonder why we named marriage anand karaj? why do we celebrate like mad and wear our best clothes and spend so much on marriages?

Why is it that people who are not married want to get married, earn for a partner, pray several prayers and do ardaas in every place possible for a good partner ?

Why is it that the best glowing and happiest faces we have ever seen is when two people are getting married ?

Step out of theory and into reality. God himself comes into the gristi and enjoys grist jeevan.

ਗਿਰਹੀ ਮਹਿ ਸਦਾ ਹਰਿ ਜਨ ਉਦਾਸੀ ਗਿਆਨ ਤਤ ਬੀਚਾਰੀ ॥ ਸਤਿਗ੝ਰ੝ ਸੇਵਿ ਸਦਾ ਸ੝ਖ੝ ਪਾਇਆ ਹਰਿ ਰਾਖਿਆ ਉਰ ਧਾਰੀ ॥੨॥ Girhī meh saḝĝ har jan uḝĝsī gi­ĝn ṯaṯ bīcẖĝrī. Saṯgur sėv saḝĝ sukẖ pĝ­i­ĝ har rĝkẖi­ĝ ur ḝẖĝrī. (2) Immersed in family life, the Lord's humble servant ever remains detached; he reflects upon the essence of spiritual wisdom.

Serving the True Guru, he finds eternal peace, and he keeps the Lord enshrined in his heart. (2)

Whilst in married life, practice your religion too.

Even God enjoys his marriage to us - his soul brides.

ਖਿਮਾ ਸੀਗਾਰ ਕਰੇ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਖੁਸੀਆ ਮਨਿ ਦੀਪਕ ਗੁਰ ਗਿਆਨੁ ਬਲਈਆ ॥

खिमा सीगार करे प्रभ खुसीआ मनि दीपक गुर गिआनु बलईआ ॥

Kẖimā sīgār kare parabẖ kẖusī▫ā man ḏīpak gur gi▫ān bala▫ī▫ā.

If the soul-bride adorns herself with compassion and forgiveness, God is pleased, and her mind is illumined with the lamp of the Guru's wisdom.

ਰਸਿ ਰਸਿ ਭੋਗ ਕਰੇ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਮੇਰਾ ਹਮ ਤਿਸੁ ਆਗੈ ਜੀਉ ਕਟਿ ਕਟਿ ਪਈਆ ॥੫॥

रसि रसि भोग करे प्रभु मेरा हम तिसु आगै जीउ कटि कटि पईआ ॥५॥

Ras ras bẖog kare parabẖ merā ham ṯis āgai jī▫o kat kat pa▫ī▫ā. ||5||

With happiness and ecstasy, my God enjoys her; I offer each and every bit of my soul to Him. ||5||

[Akalifauj]

ਸੁਨਿਬੋ ਸਖੀ ਕੰਤਿ ਹਮਾਰੋ ਕੀਅਲੋ ਖਸਮਾਨਾ ॥

सुनिबो सखी कंति हमारो कीअलो खसमाना ॥

Sunibo sakẖī kanṯ hamāro kī▫alo kẖasmānā.

Hear, O my companions, my Husband, my Lord Master, possesses me.

I read your whole post and you dance around the questions I asked. However in your own words explain to me what the Guru is saying, taking in the whole shabad context in the above quoted line.

[Akalifauj]

I had asked you to interpret a line of Gurbani posted by you, three days ago. I see you are posting on other threads. If you are having a hard time interpret the line in your own words, please let me know.