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Hukamnama advice

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I try having a Hukamnama every morning and one morning i had the one below. Could someone please advice this manmukh the meaning of this. Is Guruji saying that we should not listen to women or our wife at all or how do we differentiate between what we should be listening to when our partner talks to us?




ਮਃ ੪ ॥ 
मः ४ ॥ 
Mėhlā 4. 
Fourth Mehl: 

ਸਾਰਾ ਦਿਨੁ ਲਾਲਚਿ ਅਟਿਆ ਮਨਮੁਖਿ ਹੋਰੇ ਗਲਾ ॥ 
सारा दिनु लालचि अटिआ मनमुखि होरे गला ॥ 
Sārā ḏin lālacẖ ati▫ā manmukẖ hore galā. 
The self-willed manmukh is occupied with greed all day long, although he may claim otherwise. 

ਰਾਤੀ ਊਘੈ ਦਬਿਆ ਨਵੇ ਸੋਤ ਸਭਿ ਢਿਲਾ ॥ 
राती ऊघै दबिआ नवे सोत सभि ढिला ॥ 
Rāṯī ūgẖai ḏabi▫ā nave soṯ sabẖ dẖilā. 
At night, he is overcome by fatigue, and all his nine holes are weakened. 

ਮਨਮੁਖਾ ਦੈ ਸਿਰਿ ਜੋਰਾ ਅਮਰੁ ਹੈ ਨਿਤ ਦੇਵਹਿ ਭਲਾ ॥ 
मनमुखा दै सिरि जोरा अमरु है नित देवहि भला ॥ 
Manmukẖā ḏai sir jorā amar hai niṯ ḏevėh bẖalā. 
Over the head of the manmukh is the order of the woman; to her, he ever holds out his promises of goodness. 

ਜੋਰਾ ਦਾ ਆਖਿਆ ਪੁਰਖ ਕਮਾਵਦੇ ਸੇ ਅਪਵਿਤ ਅਮੇਧ ਖਲਾ ॥ 
जोरा दा आखिआ पुरख कमावदे से अपवित अमेध खला ॥ 
Jorā ḏā ākẖi▫ā purakẖ kamāvḏe se apviṯ ameḏẖ kẖalā. 
Those men who act according to the orders of women are impure, filthy and foolish. 

ਕਾਮਿ ਵਿਆਪੇ ਕੁਸੁਧ ਨਰ ਸੇ ਜੋਰਾ ਪੁਛਿ ਚਲਾ ॥ 
कामि विआपे कुसुध नर से जोरा पुछि चला ॥ 
Kām vi▫āpe kusuḏẖ nar se jorā pucẖẖ cẖalā. 
Those impure men are engrossed in sexual desire; they consult their women and walk accordingly. 

ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਕੈ ਆਖਿਐ ਜੋ ਚਲੈ ਸੋ ਸਤਿ ਪੁਰਖੁ ਭਲ ਭਲਾ ॥ 
सतिगुर कै आखिऐ जो चलै सो सति पुरखु भल भला ॥ 
Saṯgur kai ākẖi▫ai jo cẖalai so saṯ purakẖ bẖal bẖalā. 
One who walks as the True Guru tells him to, is the true man, the best of the best. 

ਜੋਰਾ ਪੁਰਖ ਸਭਿ ਆਪਿ ਉਪਾਇਅਨੁ ਹਰਿ ਖੇਲ ਸਭਿ ਖਿਲਾ ॥ 
जोरा पुरख सभि आपि उपाइअनु हरि खेल सभि खिला ॥ 
Jorā purakẖ sabẖ āp upā▫i▫an har kẖel sabẖ kẖilā. 
He Himself created all women and men; the Lord Himself plays every play. 

ਸਭ ਤੇਰੀ ਬਣਤ ਬਣਾਵਣੀ ਨਾਨਕ ਭਲ ਭਲਾ ॥੨॥ 
सभ तेरी बणत बणावणी नानक भल भला ॥२॥ 
Sabẖ ṯerī baṇaṯ baṇāvaṇī Nānak bẖal bẖalā. ||2|| 
You created the entire creation; O Nanak, it is the best of the best. ||2|| 

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ਕਾਮਿ ਵਿਆਪੇ ਕੁਸੁਧ ਨਰ ਸੇ ਜੋਰਾ ਪੁਛਿ ਚਲਾ ॥

ਮ ੪ ॥
ਸਾਰਾ ਦਿਨੁ ਲਾਲਚਿ ਅਟਿਆ ਮਨਮੁਖਿ ਹੋਰੇ ਗਲਾ ॥
ਰਾਤੀ ਊਘੈ ਦਬਿਆ ਨਵੇ ਸੋਤ ਸਭਿ ਢਿਲਾ ॥
ਮਨਮੁਖਾ ਦੈ ਸਿਰਿ ਜੋਰਾ ਅਮਰੁ ਹੈ ਨਿਤ ਦੇਵਹਿ ਭਲਾ ॥
ਜੋਰਾ ਦਾ ਆਖਿਆ ਪੁਰਖ ਕਮਾਵਦੇ ਸੇ ਅਪਵਿਤ ਅਮੇਧ ਖਲਾ ॥
ਕਾਮਿ ਵਿਆਪੇ ਕੁਸੁਧ ਨਰ ਸੇ ਜੋਰਾ ਪੁਛਿ ਚਲਾ ॥ {ਪੰਨਾ 304}

1. The Manmukh (such person who is run by his mind) person stays stuck in greed all day. Manmukh is interested in non-Naam tasks and actions (ਹੋਰੇ ਗਲਾ).

2. At night the Manmukh is overcome by sleep. All the 9 doors (mouth, two ears, two nostrils, two eyes, two excretory organs) are lose or weak because they are indulged in non-Naam actions.

The word ਢਿਲਾ means lose in the sense that the 9 doors of the body are not under the control of the Manmukh and rather the Manmukh is under their control. During the day, the Manmukh is stuck in greed and at night by sleep. In other words, no time for Naam Abhyaas.

3. Manmukhs are totally under the spell of Kaam and for this reason, they are under the control of women.

4. Manmukhs, under the spell of Kaam, do what women tell them to do and for this reason they are impure and stupid.

5. Such persons who are under the spell of Kaam are impure persons and they do as women tell them to do.

The above was the literal explanation of the points 3, 4 and 5. The above pankitis apply to both men and women. There are so many stories and tales in our folk-culture to prove that when persons act under the spell of Kaam, they don't make rational decisions. They listen to their partners, not because what they are told is correct but because they are under the spell of Kaam. The story of Pooran Bhagat is just this. Raja Salvaan the father of Pooran Bhagat got married to Loona who was almost the same age as his son. Loona, the step-mother of Pooran Bhagat tried to seduce him and when he rejected her advances, she falsely accused Pooran Bhagat of molesting her. Raja Salvan was totally under the spell of Kaam and without thinking, sentenced that his son by cut into pieces and thrown in a well.

Everyday we hear tales of men and women acting under the spell of Kaam and doing some really stupid and atrocious actions. There was a report of a woman who killed her young children because she wanted to be with her boyfriend, who did not like the fact that she had kids. She killed her kids for the sake of a Kaamic relationship. Newspapers are filled with stories where a person under the spell of Kaam obeys the evil requests of his or her partner.

In the above pankitis, the reference is to such men (or women) who under the influence of Kaam, listen to evil advices of their partners. It is not directed towards women in general. Guru Sahib who was the protector and unholder of the honour of women could have never asked his Gursikhs to not listen to women in general. The Hukam of Guru Sahib is to not get under the influence of Kaam and then listen to evil suggestions of women. This Salok is very clearly geared towards ਕਾਮਿ ਵਿਆਪੇ ਕੁਸੁਧ ਨਰ (Impure persons under the influence of Kaam) and not towards men who otherwise have loving relationships with women who are their mother, aunts, grandmothers, sisters, daughters and wife.

Kulbir Singh (GurmatBibek)

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