Family Memeber Ill.

[Guest -worried]

Wjkk wjkf.

Hello sangat jio, Im having a problem and i want some opinions/help.

One of my Family membeers was Very sick with Depression in the past, and currently i worry alot that It can happen again. It was very hard for my family to deal with. I constantly worry that it will strike again. This family member is very important to me, and i tell him all the time to stay happy and not let litle things bother him. But at the same time... one something personal bothers him he bottles it all Up and doesnt talk about it. I cant really talk to him about his personal problems. But... at the same times hes not VERY religious.. im jus wrried i guesss... that was one of the hardest times of my life... andddd... i did alot of stuupid stuff, and it hurt me to see a family memeber in so much pain.... how do i overcome my worrynesss.... and actually start controlling my feelings/pain/anger..... /worrrrying?... im jus very confusedddddddd.. and worrried...

Thank you.

Wjkk wjkf

[AK-47]

Brother, as always we must look to the guru for his helping hand.

If we are pleasing to Vaheguru and he is happy with us, then if we ask something of him he will not refuse us. Obviously if we ask for something wrong or ridiculous guru ji in is wisdom may reject our ardas for our own benefit. Doing ardaas for the well being of another human being is better than asking for the health of your own self. I think it shows that you have compassion and pyar enough within you to ask vaheguru to protect that person. We usually ask vaheguru to protect and guide us all, and he does!

Just beg of vaheguru ji and if he wills it, your request will be answered. Ask vaheguru to protect your brother and to give him sikhi if he hasnt got it, ask vaheguru to bless him with his daya and mehar.

As for yourself, we all worry about other people and often our emotions get the better of us, but we need to realise that we ourselves as individuals do nothing, everything happens according to HIS will. If he blesses us with the seva of helping somebody, then we must ask him for his support in helping us carry out this seva. Just be the vessel and let vaheguru do as he will. Just try and think of every push or shove or abuse u get from the person as blessings, who knows how many sins you are washing away by helping even in the face of difficulty and abuse etc. Just keep faith in guru's hukum and keep doing ardas.

A simple thing you can do is just do an extra chapaui sahib everyday and at the end do the ardas for your brother. It might help.

Just try and smile and be happy with this person, but be genuine and smile honestly, theres nothing worse than a fake smile when your upset or depressed. Everything has does and will happen according to hukum, worrying will not help too much, just try and turn that worry into something positive. Let your father guru gobind singh ji deal with your worries, you just concentrate on being the best child you can.

I apologise deeply if i have said something wrong above, they were just a few thoughts i had given that nobody else had offered any suggestings. Please sangat ji if somebody has asked such a question, it is our duty to try and help where possible.

Gurbani is the medicine.

[shanti]

Read Sukmani Sahib and Japji Sahib...both of these are very comforting and aid with depression and anxiety.

[Guest ~u kno who i am~]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh!!

Just keeps strong and have faith in Guru ji, because he is the only one that can help you in this hard time. You have to try and keep a positive attitude around this person... and try to keep them in a happy mood as well. Even though you feel as if you can't talk to this person about their personal feelings, you can just help by listening to what they do have to say, and let them know that you are there when they do feel like talking.

Like mentioned above, do ardaas as such as you can. Guru ji knows how you feel, and if it is his hukam, then you will receive your answer from Him. The one thing that you always have to remember, is that no matter what is going on in life, it is because of His hukam that it is happening. We may not realize this, but He does many things that we can not understand for a reason. Only he can see the bigger picture, and only HE can help us in our difficulties. So do ardaas, simran as such as you can, and sukhmani sahib also may help.

Take care

Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh!!

[London Singh]

You have had some great advice above already, I'll just add my two cents.

Nothing is more powerful than Ardas to Waheguru - so do it! Go to Guru Ji, Siri Guru Granth Sahib Je Maharaj and pray for your family to be kept in chardi kala (high spirits).

birathhee kadhae n hovee jan kee aradhaas ||

The prayer of the Lord's humble servant is never offered in vain.

Secondly, do try and get some professional help. I appreciate that people may find this akward but you have to try. Search the web for some helplines. These people are helping those affected with depression all the time - they should be able to give some advice.

rogee kaa prabh kha(n)ddahu rog ||

God eradicates the disease from the diseased person.

read this shabad on http://www.sikhitothemax.com/page.asp?ShabadID=4098

I think it's great that you are concerned for the well being for your family but there's no use in you getting worried about things that are out of your control - everything is in Waheguru's hands. We do as he hukams (commands). So keep Waheguru close to heart - do simran Waheguru, Waheguru, Waheguru as much as you can! Try and expose your family to Gurbani as much as possible - such as a CD, one of the Sikh radio stations if you are in UK, doing simran yourself etc. Get your family to go the Gurdwara - they will get darshan of Siri Guru Granth Sahib ji and his pyari sangat.

Guru Ang Sang!

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!