Pressure To Fit Into Society

[sher_panjabi]

Society's Pressure to "Fit in" (taken from blog spot)

I moved into university halls of residence a fews weeks back. For the past two days I have been getting to know my flat mates in halls of residence. They are really nice people and very easy to talk to and have a laugh with. As I am a Senior Student for the Block (bit like a Warden or helper for residents) people have been coming up to me and asking about the Freshers Events i.e. student events during the week at clubs.

People have been asking me "are you coming?", "did you go last year", "where's the best pub around here", and "what you do tonight?". Society expects us to "fit in". I felt awkward when people ask questions about clubbing, because I feel will they understand if I say I don't go clubbing, I don't go to pubs and I don't drink?

Today in the kitchen my flatmates saw my Kirpaan and so they asked me about it. I explained about the Panj Kakkaar being a uniform of the Sikh who is a Saint-Warrior, and how each Kakkaar has a symbol (i.e. a meaning) as well as a practical function. The flatmates took a keen interest and were pleased to hear about why I wear a dastaar and Kirpaan etc.

Then one the flatmates asked, "so do you have trouble going to clubs?" You feel the pressure of Kaljug, the pressure of society to conform and you are made to feel out of place for being different. How I was direct and straight and said, "I don't go clubbing or go to pubs". The flatmates where suprised and there faces expressed a bit of confusion of how I enjoy myself. It is difficult to explain to someone who hasn't experienced the path of the Guru that you can have fun without clubbing, pubbing, drinking sharaab or in sangat with people who doing those things. You can enjoy "anand" in Saadh Sangat and doing other things which don't involve alcohol, smoking or provoking the Panj Chor. However, the flatmates respected my principles and Sikh way of life and showed support. The conversation concluded with one of the flatmates saying: "We are lucky to have a Sikh living with us in our flat."

Even yesterday morning, a Panjabi boy from a Sikh family asked, "Bhaji are you going to the Freshers event at Inverse (the night-club)?" I had to bite the bullet and be honest with him without giving a round about answer (which society's pressures push us to do). I said, "I am Amritdhari and don't feel going to those places." However, the Bhaji seemed okay with me and respect me for my way of life.

I learnt that as long as a person respects their own way of life, respects themselves and respects what the principles he or she stands for and is proud of them, then others will admire and respect you for that and not be judgemental. However, if we ourselves are unsure of our way of life, unsure of our principles and not able to give our Rehat the respect it deserves, then you will be swooped into following others like a sheep and compromising what you stand for in order to "fit in" and "not be awkward". Thank you to my Guru who gave me the name "Singh" (meaning 'lion') and reminding me to stick out of the crowd and be unique and distinct and not follow the crowd like a sheep.

The Guru is great, and great is His Sikhi!

[Balwinder Kaur]

true say, manvir singh veerjee. i live in a hall of residence myself and hold an executive position on the ressie's committee too. and yea, if you're firm with your beliefs and dont give in to pressure to "fit in", these gorehs actually do respect you for your principles and will most definitely give you space to practise your sikhee full-on. thanks for sharing your story...really inspirational.

[sher_panjabi]

This is funny!

Yesterday I was walking from my room at halls to the Computer room which is on the other side of the courtyard.

I was wearing my white kurta pyjama. As i walking through the courtyard a group of lads (looked indian but not panjabi) said: "Mate you going to Base (a club a night at the Inverse night-club) tonight?".

I was like :doh: @ ! Lol. it was funny. There I was with my chaplaa (sandals) and kurta pjyama and the mundaa (looked tamil) was saying, "You coming to Base?". I didn't know whether to laugh or what!

[London Singh]

This is funny!

Yesterday I was walking from my room at halls to the Computer room which is on the other side of the courtyard.

I was wearing my white kurta pyjama. As i walking through the courtyard a group of lads (looked indian but not panjabi) said: "Mate you going to Base (a club a night at the Inverse night-club) tonight?".

I was like  :doh: @ ! Lol. it was funny. There I was with my chaplaa (sandals) and kurta pjyama and the mundaa (looked tamil) was saying, "You coming to Base?". I didn't know whether to laugh or what!

121679[/snapback]

That is funny! I also feel, ummm, :doh: , when constantly being asked for a "light" - or as one Chinese person recently asked "a fire" for his cigarrete!

[guruji's_student]

heheh !!

madness

oh god .. ghora though .. theyre fine about sikhi ( well my mates are) and always want to know more.. but damn all they talk about is the oppsitie sex or drinking .. going clubbing .. theyre liek yeah on my bday gna goclubbin .. oh come as well !! U HAVE TO loll

me liek hmm achaa .. well thats not my stlye lub heheh !!

jst a little bit more education !!

[shanti]

ahem *coughs REALLy loud* im ghori and i dont do those things!! if i was sikh or any other religion i wouldnt do those things...i think it depends on who you CHOOSE to associate with in life....i know jus as many asians who drink and sleep around than i do white people.

[Guest Papi]

Waheguru

Society's Pressure to "Fit in" .

umm, who wants to fit in to the crappy society anyway.

I want to fit in sadh sangat.

Bhuk Chuk Khima

Guru Rakha

[SSM]

true

*coughs even louder*

ghore understand at mu uni if u say u dont go out but tell ur asian mates and they're like:

ur being so boring how can u not want to go when im going

so what u never gonna go

we r sikh too @

Or, is it cos ur mum wont let u

i'll bring some guys if u want

...and they simply cant understand how u can manage to go to the Gurdwara, ask them to come along and they run out of sight

[Heera Singh]

i think for the most party they're really cool wit the sikhi lifestyle, as long as we don't try to lecture them to change their wayz... u give them ur reasons for not going and tha's that... they don't bother us if we don't bother them....

a really interesting quote i heard from sum1:

"why do you try to hard to fit in when you're born to stand out"... i think that kinda goes with this thing about society.. nowadayz so many people do what they do to 'FIT IN'... a lot of people don't even like doin the stuff they do, but they're 'not cool' if they don't...

if we show people why we don't do things and what we believe and show them that we're still happy and show them how confident we are wit ourselves... they respect that, and hey u mite even get through to some people and they might actually stop doin wht they do...

i alwayz get asked to go to clubs/pubs n stuff... but i tell people straight up i aint into that... some people find it hard to beleive 'cause i used to do that stuff... but when i tell em why they understand... and basically they don't ask me again....

[disguised]

Umm.. any kind of race ppl dont say anything to as long as you are confident abt urselfs. I mean ghorai ppl may ask u once or twice but then after that tehy wont sya a thing... just a quote!