Questions From A Student

[bajhguru]

Hi

I am a student and there is a question/insight which need to share with you friends. My mother took care of my hair from birth and I was a full Sikh and never thought of my hair ever and considered it just as a normal way of life until I joined a college. There I came across a number of comments from even my close friends (which in no way was wrongly intentioned) like 'Is you father very strict?' or 'Are you very religious person'. I never wanted to be 'very religious' but just want to be a normal person and also when I came across soft comments like 'Is you father very strict?" It indirectly attacked my self-respect and ego and I felt as if I am living a second hand life, which is decided for me by somebody else and is not my self-chosen. I became very conscious of my hair and eventually because of some other reasons, I started feeling mentally suffocated and got my hair cut. But after few months I started feeling guilty as if I cut my roots and I started going to Gurdwara more than ever before to fix myself and I started doing even more charity works to prove myself a worthy Sikh. But in Gurdwara, Most saints especially head priest looked at me with condemning and bitter eyes and also in their daily discourses I heard a lot of negative and humiliating attitude towards Sikh with hair cut. I started feeling outsider instead of all charity works I was doing. I was already thinking to go back to my Sikh libaas, but seeing the attitude of the main priest of our Gurdwara and their blindly condemnation of hair cut, I started feeling that whatever I do , I will not do because of any subtle pressure of anybody. Also since I saw real face of these people, I started hating to be Sikh like these. The main priest in this Gurdwara looks more like a politician/chaudhary and his big belly keeps me reminding of the ‘kasaai’ of our street. I am getting strange feeling arising in me which I never thought before. I don’t want to be a Sikh if these people are Sikh as well. I got a protest building in me and thinking if we will also divide to a new protestant group where there will be no place for such people like the priests of this Gurdwara. These people rather then understanding the difficulties of a Sikh with sympathy and love, are making hateful and humiliating statements for a Sikh like me and calling them ‘patit’ again and again as if they are ‘great’ Sikhs. Too much emphasis is being given to outer things and no body seems to care much of inner values of Sikhi and moreover the people who are representing it are very poor models for others and all their work/emphasis is making negative impacts instead any positive . I don’t know where are we going??

Ruby Gill

Student

[curious_man]

I don’t want to be a Sikh if these people are Sikh as well.

whoa.... bro ..dont be sooo pessimistic...

y dont u say... tht

I want to be a Sikh becoz of ppl like guru ji... ppl like all those 84 shaheeds... ppl like Bhai Sahib Bhai Randhir Singh JI.... ppl like the Youth of Month.. and numerous other Khalsa!!

y r u hating sikhi only becoz of the guy u r talkin...

if ppl like him is bad... if badal is bad... if kps gill is bad... does tht mean Sikhi is bad??

soo... just do ardaas... and let guruji do the rest!!

and paaji... if u really r pure frm inside... then u have to show it outside toooo.... by wearing the uniform ordered by our guruji...

paaji...we r not gurus... we dont know which human being is good frm heart... but if u become a khalsa.... and maintain a rehit.... tht rehit itself will make other ppl think of ureself as a great and respectful person!!!

[gupt_paapi]

there a rotten apples in a basket...

so y throw away the rest?

[singh_comradz]

k_singh summed it up!

i think alot of people have had the same experience...but you shouldn't succumb to their or anyones opinions

i wouldn't take any notice of people who might judge you for that. don't let hate or contempt about being a sikh overcome you...just keep on doing what you're doing in terms of your seva....maharaj is antarjamee and will surely do kirpa..

but don't judge sikhi by the actions of others...people make flaws or might judge

but sikhi is flawless...

but inside is as important as outside...

[proud_to_be_singhni]

ya what paji said :music:

[SSM]

soz i didnt read everything but all i have to say is sikhi is so beautiful.

men born into a sikh family or those who claim to convert to sikhi are not always sikh.

being sikh means living as one, trying to live as Guru Ji wants us to.

and if not sikhi then what would you be? hindu? buddhist? jew?

all religions have many nasty people who claim to be part of it.

even atheists do lol.

and if u want to really look at it, you are part of the bigger group- humans- and there are so many not so nice humans there so are you going to change into something else?

lol personal experience tells me we should not judge sikhi by looking what so called sikhs do but by what Guru Ji tell us and if we dont like that then its a different story altogether.

Abt u being uncomfortable as u just wanted to be a normal person:

what is a normal person?

Someone who never gets noticed?

Really, why do we want to fit in?

I've been lucky and always wanted to stand out and I think every sikh should aim to stand out and be noticed for the good reasons.

My friends like me not because im different but because im different and proud of it.

I have had so many ppl ask me if my parents force me to do this or that and yes I have had a strict upbringing but I'm grown up now and I dont care if ppl think my parents force me into anything because I know I have chosen to continue in this path.

Ruby I have noticed one thing at college- we can make many friends if we fit in but we can make many more if we confidently look different.

As for gyanijis, does it matter what they have to say?

speaking honestly sikhs in our history have suffered so much torture but they did not cut their hair so perhaos that is why the granthis dont like ppl who cut their hair.

i have come across many imperfect ppl who try to tel me im wrong is what i do but u know what?

i dont care what they have done wrong, the point is they are telling me that i have done something a sikh should not do.

And if i take on board what they just said then i can only gain and not lose - if what they are preaching is the sikh view and not their own lol.

soz this post is longer than i intended it to be- as usual!

[Heera Singh]

Sikhi is more then jus the people... to know and understand what sikhi is read gurbaani... understand it... and try to implement it in ur daily life... we all know that the gurdwaras (for one reason or another) seem to have a lot of 'negative' or 'unsikhi' influences... (i.e. the committee's; for the most part, the elders who seem to talk a lot of smack etc...)... there are some positives though... especially in the youth 'sector'... what you need (and i've stressed this to others before) is positive sangat around you... people around your age that actually live a Sikh life... sikhi is more about just wearing a kirpaan n stuff... there are MANY MANY positive influences in the youth... people will absolutely inspire you, and also will have you in awe of how beautiful Sikhi can be....

where do you live?... maybe we can get some sangat around you... there's alwayz youth programz/darbars going on ... i'm sure there's some sort of event goin on in your area.... i'm guessing you're a bhenji from your name... so if needs be we can get you can get you in contact with other bibian in your area and we can go from there....

and like the singh above said... there's alwayz some people that ruin it.. (i.e. the rotten apples)... but just ignore those people... because they DO NOT represent sikhi....

hope for the best...

bhul chuk maaf..

Vaheguru Jee Ka Khalsa, Vaheguru Jee Kee Fateh!!

[Sabre Sword]

Those so called singhs who gave you such a bitter attitude are Non sikh in reality, they wear gurus bana yet they show all the negative qualities guru ji told us to abandon.

Bani and bana.

study gurbani and keep the bana thats being a true sikh.

the greatest enemy of sikhs is kalyug, and especialy the 1nz who appear to be sikh yet in reality theyre are not.