Im Scared

[Guest All Bhau]

WGjkk WGjkf

I always say that I would do anything and keep my gifts that Guru ji has given me. Even up to this day, He keeps sending me these wonderful gifts but one thing that has filled up my heart now is FEAR... fear of losing it all.

I searched so long to finally get Amrit and now Im always haunted about what would happen if I didnt have it, if I didnt have sangat, or Guru ji's Faith...

I had earlier asked a similar question here on the forum but I really now think my destiny is gonna take me the opposite way. I cant even focus anymore, for all I can think of is, Guru ji please dont take My Amrit away...

What all brings the biggest trouble here is getting married. My parents want me married and ofcourse want me married in an Amritdhari family. But what happens is that my friends and many others have tried hard and it got nowhere. NOw my relatives think its too late and want me married to this nonamritdari. Im being emotionally blackmailed everyday and the only tears that run in me just question Guru ji about why He brought me on this Path and blessed me with so many experiences to just LOSE IT ALL?? I keep working hard to have a strong rehit but recently, its all failed. I cant wake up early... I just want to sleep and not think of anything, want to keep busy in something else.

If I listen to keertan, go to sangat, I start crying thinking it will go away and its all temporary. When im at the Gurudwara, It comes to Hukum time and I start crying coz its the same. They give me a clear answer but I have no patience. I get out of there with happiness, with hope but everytime I think It will go away, I come back with even more pain.

Now ppl might say you have to be strong and all...I ve always been fighting this situation. I sometimes think Im not even worthy of this path. I should have just been left to rot in the mud but He picked me up...

DOES HE PICK US UP TO JUST THROW US BACK??

HOW can one just survive again? I always used to advice friends on how being given Dukh is a test and blessing. Never knew what was in for me. What can the biggest pain be?? even the thought of Losing Him kills each moment...

[Jaspaul Singh]

Bhenji ..

This moorakh does not know anything but i will try to help you ..

First of all you will have to decide what is more important to you .. your sikhi/your amrit/your guru .. or marriage/your family/your parents..

If you picked the first one then you must stick by that and show your family that in no way you will give in to their pressure. No one has the right to pressure anyone into doing something against sikhi. AND your an amritdhari singhni .. SINGHNI .. guru jis pyaari .. KAUR .. no one can dare mess wit you ! I suggest you speak up and tell your relatives to back off and that they know nothing about what sikhi is .. straight up you should be sticking up .. cuz in a way .. them wanting u to marry a non-amritdhari is punking you in a way, dissing your sikhi ..

As for your parents .. you will have to stand up to them. Parents can be all what we love in this world, the one and only temporary real thing in this world that actually care about you and get your desires fullfiled.. but eventually they wont be here wit u till the end, and we all have to except that even wit our own parents. If your guru is important to you as you saying that sikhi is .. u will have to stand up against your family/parents and fight them off. Seek advice from gursikhs from gurdwaras, from friends, family relatives that are gursikhs..

But if you think your parents/family/etx.. are important then your sikhi/your guru ..then that is your choice..

YOUR A KAUR bhenji, your parents are DHAN SRI GURU GOBIND SINGH JI and DHAN SRI MATA SAHIB KAUR JI !! You are from Anandpur Sahib !! This is the one TRUTH that in every amrit sanchaar we are told, and we should NEVER forget that.

Be strong bhenji, bhul chuk maph for any mistakes.. PM me if anything ..

chardi kala !

vaahegurooo

daas,

[buddasingh]

I don't know your personal circumstances, so don't want to assume to what extent the following applies to you. But I hope it gives you some strength, encouragement and possibly perspective.

Marriage can be one of the most trying times for young Sikhs. It use to be that people were married at the age of 15-19 and it would make sense for parents to deal with the entire thing and there would be no problem.

It is much more complex where family is still very much involved yet the "boy or girl" is actually a man or woman. There is the added difficulty of no standard cultural practice any longer as to how married couples come together. There is everything from completely arranged to acquaintances approaching their parents for approval etc.

Because of the totally sexist attitudes of pretty much the world, it can be a far more trying time for women no matter what the process. I have seen people associate amrit as complicating factor. Sometimes people around us wrongly identify issues when we are most vulnerable. We rarely hear anyone say that the country I live in is limiting my range of partners when that is the case. We often accept this. We accept many limitations in our environments when it comes to marriage partners. Think about it, there are so many. BUT amrit is not one of them.

Amrit is a gift which permits your optimism to facilitate everything for you in life. Simply believing in something can often make a world of difference. Thus believing in a true pillar of strength such as amrit will always ensure that you conquer your mind and the world.

As I said, I don't know your particular circumstances, but stay strong, be bold. Don't assume the submissive role in what you want. Life is full of sacrifices, but even those who sacrifice their life, don't sacrifice who they are.

[er_gurjot]

respected sis.

i wud like to say dat non amritdharis are not away from religion!!!.....m a sikh have full faith and non amritdhari.....coz many of my frnd who were amritdharies in intial stages of life are now drug addicted....do all kind of bad things etc....and i cant tolerate this ....i feeel its a sin....but i keep all rehat(as far as possible)

in fact i suggest u to find a person of high morale and then u can inspire him to take amrit

quote=All Bhau,Apr 17 2006, 10:57 AM]

WGjkk WGjkf

I always say that I would do anything and keep my gifts that Guru ji has given me. Even up to this day, He keeps sending me these wonderful gifts but one thing that has filled up my heart now is FEAR... fear of losing it all.

I searched so long to finally get Amrit and now Im always haunted about what would happen if I didnt have it, if I didnt have sangat, or Guru ji's Faith...

I had earlier asked a similar question here on the forum but I really now think my destiny is gonna take me the opposite way. I cant even focus anymore, for all I can think of is, Guru ji please dont take My Amrit away...

What all brings the biggest trouble here is getting married. My parents want me married and ofcourse want me married in an Amritdhari family. But what happens is that my friends and many others have tried hard and it got nowhere. NOw my relatives think its too late and want me married to this nonamritdari. Im being emotionally blackmailed everyday and the only tears that run in me just question Guru ji about why He brought me on this Path and blessed me with so many experiences to just LOSE IT ALL?? I keep working hard to have a strong rehit but recently, its all failed. I cant wake up early... I just want to sleep and not think of anything, want to keep busy in something else.

If I listen to keertan, go to sangat, I start crying thinking it will go away and its all temporary. When im at the Gurudwara, It comes to Hukum time and I start crying coz its the same. They give me a clear answer but I have no patience. I get out of there with happiness, with hope but everytime I think It will go away, I come back with even more pain.

Now ppl might say you have to be strong and all...I ve always been fighting this situation. I sometimes think Im not even worthy of this path. I should have just been left to rot in the mud but He picked me up...

DOES HE PICK US UP TO JUST THROW US BACK??

HOW can one just survive again? I always used to advice friends on how being given Dukh is a test and blessing. Never knew what was in for me. What can the biggest pain be?? even the thought of Losing Him kills each moment...

161016[/snapback]

[Khalsa4ever]

Waheguroo jee ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo jee kee Fateh!

Never ever say that you arn't strong. You're posting on this forum, right? This means that you KNOW that you have to stand up to your family, because this isn't about getting married or not. This is about what's RIGHT.

In this day and age, marriage isn't the end of the world. But you have already worked hard for sikhi and so that work should count for something. And ask your relatives a question. If this person isn't going to be willing to take amrit for you, to try following full rehat for some time before you get married, why makes them think he is going to be a good husband?

Stay strong bhenji!!

Waheguroo jee ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo jee kee Fateh!

[Pheena]

WGjkk WGjkf

I always say that I would do anything and keep my gifts that Guru ji has given me. Even up to this day, He keeps sending me these wonderful gifts but one thing that has filled up my heart now is FEAR... fear of losing it all.

I searched so long to finally get Amrit and now Im always haunted about what would happen if I didnt have it, if I didnt have sangat, or Guru ji's Faith...

I had earlier asked a similar question here on the forum but I really now think my destiny is gonna take me the opposite way. I cant even focus anymore, for all I can think of is, Guru ji please dont take My Amrit away...

What all brings the biggest trouble here is getting married. My parents want me married and ofcourse want me married in an Amritdhari family. But what happens is that my friends and many others have tried hard and it got nowhere. NOw my relatives think its too late and want me married to this nonamritdari. Im being emotionally blackmailed everyday and the only tears that run in me just question Guru ji about why He brought me on this Path and blessed me with so many experiences to just LOSE IT ALL?? I keep working hard to have a strong rehit but recently, its all failed. I cant wake up early... I just want to sleep and not think of anything, want to keep busy in something else.

If I listen to keertan, go to sangat, I start crying thinking it will go away and its all temporary. When im at the Gurudwara, It comes to Hukum time and I start crying coz its the same. They give me a clear answer but I have no patience. I get out of there with happiness, with hope but everytime I think It will go away, I come back with even more pain.

Now ppl might say you have to be strong and all...I ve always been fighting this situation. I sometimes think Im not even worthy of this path. I should have just been left to rot in the mud but He picked me up...

DOES HE PICK US UP TO JUST THROW US BACK??

HOW can one just survive again? I always used to advice friends on how being given Dukh is a test and blessing. Never knew what was in for me. What can the biggest pain be?? even the thought of Losing Him kills each moment...

161016[/snapback]

You are afraid of what exactly? Your God is within YOU, your Amrit is within YOU, your Guru is within YOU which NOONE can ever EVER take away from YOU. So then what is it that you fear? The outside is in a constant state of flux, it is changing for today is never similar to tomrrow and so on, you are happy today externally there are no worries, but there is no guarantee tomorrow will be the same. What happens on the outside is of irrelivency, it is your inner peace, your inner conneciton that matters. Who is here to take this from you? Who here has the power to take that away from you? Forgive me my beloved but you speak of being married to a non-Amritdhari as if you are being forced to marry someone who is going to steal your God away from you. Dear one, It is YOU who will make the best of what you are given. Your attitude determines your state of being. It is your state of mind, It is your love, the key is in your hands, no one elses.

If you cannot convince your parents fully, atleast bend their decision in some way shape or form. Put effort into deciding your future, it is not a time to sulk, instead take action for it is time. I thought it was tyaar bur tyaar?? are you ready? Is this statement only for War? The times have changed as have our wars, the Singhs and Kaurs do not need as much physical strength as they do mental.

Ask for nothing but content in his Will, his Way.

such is the thought of this <banned word filter activated>...i meant no offense to anyone.

God Speed my dear and beloved Sis.

[Guest Guest]

[Dear sister,

Hope sustains life and faith can overcome mountains are just not words of wisdom .they are lessons of life .I will try to say just that I was in a similar situation 10 years back.I was deeply religious and wanted a partner with similar views.But as is God's will I got ahusband who was a president of tarksheel society an institute who discourage people to believe in God.But my strong will,faith and determination paid me rich dividends.Today we both are amritdhari's and his state of mind is on higher spiritual level than mine.

Such are the ways of God.It is quiet possible that God wants somebody's life to be remoulded through you.So dont loose heart.Leave everything on God.

[Guest Guest]

[Dear sister,

Hope sustains life and faith can overcome mountains are just not words of wisdom .they are lessons of life .I will try to say just that I was in a similar situation 10 years back.I was deeply religious and wanted a partner with similar views.But as is God's will I got ahusband who was a president of tarksheel society an institute who discourage people to believe in God.But my strong will,faith and determination paid me rich dividends.Today we both are amritdhari's and his state of mind is on higher spiritual level than mine.

Such are the ways of God.It is quiet possible that God wants somebody's life to be remoulded through you.So dont loose heart.Leave everything on God.

It is quiet possible that God wants somebody's life to be remoulded through you

this gets more interesting...

[Singh132]

Dont' get pressured into marrying a non-amritdhari. It's against rehit and not something you can agree to.

Please take the time to read the following story, it is like your situation very much:

Bibi Sukhdev Kaur

translated by Admin www.tapoban.org

From a very young age Bibi Sukhdev Kaur received encouragement from Bhai Sahib Randheer Singh jee to do path and he himself had her do it for him. Bibi jee would bathe, put on fresh clothes and then commence the path as Bhai Sahib wouls tand behind her and do Chaur with one hand and put his other hand on her head. Usually, only I, Thakur Singh was the listener. I learned there that when the beloveds of the Guru give their blessings, consciousness can fly into the heaveans. Not only in keertan are the sweet arrows of love released, but even in GurbaaNee path these arrows are felt and affect not only the soul but even the body. I remember that I could only listen to this divinely inspired path for a half hour or fourty five minutes. I would then request she stop. These days are hard to forget. The entire atmosphere would be perfumed with Keertan and GurbaaNee path.

Like this, some time passed. Bibi Sukhdev Kaur grew up and a great test came before her. The Bibi was engaged to marry into a family, which was of manmukhs. When talk of her marriage arose, Bibi Sukhdev Kaur told her mother that she would only marry a Gursikh. She could not marry a Manmukh. Her entire family was worried, especially her brother who was of a very hard nature. When Bibi Sukhdev Kaur’s brother found out what she was saying he told her “This marriage arrangement is already made and furthermore they are our relatives. Think about it. This marriage is going to happen now. And if not, I have an axe and a sword too. We’ll finish you off”

Bibi jee in those days used to meditate on naam with great spiritual ecstasy and in this state, Guru jee gave her faith. She replied to her brother, “your decision is right in your eyes and my decision is also eternal. You can do what you want”

The brother drew his sword and despite the protests of their mother, dragged Bibi Sukhdev Kaur into the animals’ yard. He said “Now something is going to happen." Bibi jee replied, “you are proud of your sword and I am proud of my Guru. Only that will happen which he approves of.” Seeing her firmness, the brother brought Bibi jee back to her mother and told her to convince her daughter. The mother began to cry and lay down on the bed beside Bibi jee. Bibi jee told us that in this frightening situation, her simran was going with great power and there was no sign of fear within her. Guru jee, the True Lord, appeared in person before her and gave her courage and blessed her with a simarnaa (this simarnaa is still with the Bibi). Then what? Bibi jee became totally ready for anything. She said “Brother, you can do what you want to me. My Satguru jee has arrived!” The brother thought for a moment and then threw down his sword. He exclaimed, “Fine. You have won and we have lost. Tell us, where shall we marry you?” Bibi jee replied, “Only Bhai Sahib can tell you that”.

It was fate, that that day I had sent my nephew Dyaal Singh to Bhai Sahib with something to give to him. When Bibi jee told Bhai Sahib what had happened the previous night and how Satuguru jee had himself appeared and protected her, Bhai Sahib became very happy and called for me that very morning.

I arrived at Narnagvaal and he related the entire story to me. I put my head at his feet. Sanjog (those whom we are to meet) are determined before our birth. Bibi Sukhdev Kaur was sitting there, and approval was given for marriage to my nephew.

Bibi jee went home and told her family what had happened and when her family found out what an educated and suitable boy had been found, they all went to Bhai Sahib’s house and the ardaas for the engagement was performed. Bhai Sahib was so happy about this. He said to me, “Jogee! This is the blessing of the True Lord! You have preserved our honour. The lord shall bless you immensely.

After this, the marriage took place with great fanfare. Bhai Sahib till the end gave immense love to Bibi Sukhdev Kaur and Bibi jee too lived her entire life according to Gurmat.

[Dhan Teri Sikhi]

Bibi Sukhdev Kaur

translated by Admin www.tapoban.org

From a very young age Bibi Sukhdev Kaur received encouragement from Bhai Sahib Randheer Singh jee to do path and he himself had her do it for him. Bibi jee would bathe, put on fresh clothes and then commence the path as Bhai Sahib wouls tand behind her and do Chaur with one hand and put his other hand on her head. Usually, only I, Thakur Singh was the listener. I learned there that when the beloveds of the Guru give their blessings, consciousness can fly into the heaveans. Not only in keertan are the sweet arrows of love released, but even in GurbaaNee path these arrows are felt and affect not only the soul but even the body. I remember that I could only listen to this divinely inspired path for a half hour or fourty five minutes. I would then request she stop. These days are hard to forget. The entire atmosphere would be perfumed with Keertan and GurbaaNee path.

Like this, some time passed. Bibi Sukhdev Kaur grew up and a great test came before her. The Bibi was engaged to marry into a family, which was of manmukhs. When talk of her marriage arose, Bibi Sukhdev Kaur told her mother that she would only marry a Gursikh. She could not marry a Manmukh. Her entire family was worried, especially her brother who was of a very hard nature. When Bibi Sukhdev Kaur’s brother found out what she was saying he told her “This marriage arrangement is already made and furthermore they are our relatives. Think about it. This marriage is going to happen now. And if not, I have an axe and a sword too. We’ll finish you off”

Bibi jee in those days used to meditate on naam with great spiritual ecstasy and in this state, Guru jee gave her faith. She replied to her brother, “your decision is right in your eyes and my decision is also eternal. You can do what you want”

The brother drew his sword and despite the protests of their mother, dragged Bibi Sukhdev Kaur into the animals’ yard. He said “Now something is going to happen." Bibi jee replied, “you are proud of your sword and I am proud of my Guru. Only that will happen which he approves of.” Seeing her firmness, the brother brought Bibi jee back to her mother and told her to convince her daughter. The mother began to cry and lay down on the bed beside Bibi jee. Bibi jee told us that in this frightening situation, her simran was going with great power and there was no sign of fear within her. Guru jee, the True Lord, appeared in person before her and gave her courage and blessed her with a simarnaa (this simarnaa is still with the Bibi). Then what? Bibi jee became totally ready for anything. She said “Brother, you can do what you want to me. My Satguru jee has arrived!” The brother thought for a moment and then threw down his sword. He exclaimed, “Fine. You have won and we have lost. Tell us, where shall we marry you?” Bibi jee replied, “Only Bhai Sahib can tell you that”.

It was fate, that that day I had sent my nephew Dyaal Singh to Bhai Sahib with something to give to him. When Bibi jee told Bhai Sahib what had happened the previous night and how Satuguru jee had himself appeared and protected her, Bhai Sahib became very happy and called for me that very morning.

I arrived at Narnagvaal and he related the entire story to me. I put my head at his feet. Sanjog (those whom we are to meet) are determined before our birth. Bibi Sukhdev Kaur was sitting there, and approval was given for marriage to my nephew.

Bibi jee went home and told her family what had happened and when her family found out what an educated and suitable boy had been found, they all went to Bhai Sahib’s house and the ardaas for the engagement was performed. Bhai Sahib was so happy about this. He said to me, “Jogee! This is the blessing of the True Lord! You have preserved our honour. The lord shall bless you immensely.

After this, the marriage took place with great fanfare. Bhai Sahib till the end gave immense love to Bibi Sukhdev Kaur and Bibi jee too lived her entire life according to Gurmat.

Vahegurooo :WW: :WW: