I Messed Up

[Guest i dont know anymore]

Just now, i was about to eat when someone called. I picked up and it was a veerji, he said that all the kids (sikh kidss.. benjia, veerai) having a get together. I knew my mom would say no, so i said i would call him back. I went upstairs and asked my mom, she broke out into yells. She said taht i treat another peoples families better than my own. I told her the honest thruth that if i didnt go than everyone would talk like "oh why didnt she come', I know i shouldnt care about taht kind of stuff, but i just dont want it to happen you know? I would want to avoide it. So i told my mom that i had to go, otherwise they would all talk and she said "noo your just being a drama queen" and that i was dead to her. She also then got up and started to hit me.. hard.. contioniuosly. I called my brother, who was at uni as usually he explains and helps her understand things bettter. He didnt do much. My mom said that i have to respect her. I am also sort of sick, so she said no because of that. Now why am i upset? I am, becuase i could have avoided that problem and just said no to veerji.. however i didnt... i didnt have to make that fight with her.. however i did... she hit me.. ... i feel like im loosing strength.. emotinoally and physically.. I called the veerji back and said i wouldnt go... to just make less porblems. I went back upstairs and sincerely said i was sorry and that i would never do it again. However i say sorry a lot, and always end up doing the same thing over again. I feel like.. i dunno.. crap. I could have avoided this! YET i didnt..

my thoughts are jumbled... im crying... help guruji.. help me..

vaheguru..

[Guest Guest]

ahh bless ya. ure not alone though. I used to get same probs myself and I'm a guy... I still do jio.

please don't cry. I know how difficult it is but keep faith. understand why ure mom is being like this... maybe u reli haven't been spending enough time with them which is why they r saying u treat other families as more ure own?

I can't write a lot at the moment but I would say to u be strong and if u feel mom will get that upset, just say 'theek mummy jee, I won't go'. and I'm sure they will feel more guilty by that, rather than u answering back or being moody with them.

respecting parents isn't an easy job but I tell u this much too... being able to do seva of parents, is a gift we are not all given. they're a portal to vaheguroo... they r like ure guroo. respect them as much as u can.

keep ure chin up, and smile. if its not meant to be... its not meant to be... :lol:

[Jai Tegang!]

don't worry, it helps to talk it out...i'm sure you're feeling a lil better now, right?

[Jaspaul Singh]

She said taht i treat another peoples families better than my own.

This is very similar to my own experience with parents. Sometimes they would start thinking and sometimes saying to me that i dont like to spend that time with them so in a way if they wana say no they use that excuse or sometimes they reli get heated up. :lol:

I personally think since it was a sikhi get together.. it wasnt wrong for you to approach your mom and it was the right way. The reason she hit you i dont know but you did wat was right. She should let you go to sikhi get togethers/events such as these. But if your reli young benji then that is a whole different thing.

[SSM]

You need to think why she hit you. Is she worried about you? Do you spend tim with your family and is it even enough?

If you need your veer to sort things out for you then clearly you don't have the closeness you need with your family and you need to work on that.

Yes sikh events are important I do agree with you Jaspaul veer but at the end of it all, she can benefit even more in the sangat of her family rather than a get together with other teenagers who happened to be a sikh and may not have even discussed sikhism.

It appears to me these teenagers have an issue with image,why else would her friends make it an issue that she did not come. Some people have other commitments and to me it sounds as if they expect her to drop everything to meet up with them.

Is it not a valid excuse that she wishes to spend time with her family or in her house.

I do not see this as a one off problem but one that has being buidling up the frustration within her mother. It is for the bhenjee to work at it and to ensure her mother can feel calm whilst she is out with her friends.

I hope this made sense and if I am wrong in what I said then I apologise.

[canadian_sikh]

hi, parents can do tht 2 u sumtimes, it can be waay anoying but ive learned 2 ignore them n not 2 tell them 2 much about my life, like i dont sdo n e bad stuff, but i jjust dfont talk 2 my parents much. just the usual, hows school, fine, what did u do, nothing and then i go to m room. tht way theylll feel guilty n no tht there not dfoing sumthing rite n they mite chnge their minds. also, ull need 2 learn how 2 keep it cool. dont freak on them and just ignore them, look like ur paying attention adn just do ur paath and simran and ull be fine. just do ardaas from ur heart 2 ask Guru SAhob for help. thts all ive got 2 say. bye.

[chandanjit kaur]

>>She said taht i treat another peoples families better than my own.<<

yup.......exact same here....my parents think i dun care bout em and they say i care buot others too much......yet i dunno.........sumtimes i do think dat yet.....i have tried lookin at this frm my parents point uv view but we just wont understand parents till we are one ourselves......hana?....just try to agree wid her more and just try ur best.....its real hard.......like i never wanna go wid parents cuz they always fforcing me to go to parties.......wat da blood will they do wen i take amrit???...(this summer :lol: ).........i disagree wid my mom all da time yet they say we cant.....watha blood???.........just hold on there and do simran non-stop.....tok to guru ji bout ur sorrows.....cuz then HE shall come running to you to help....do mool mantar and simran and then ardas........good luck!!!

BHUL CHUK MUAF!!!

WAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA WAHEGURU JI KI FATEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!