Marriage!

[Princess]

like heera said in an earlier post ...

there's no SET rules fa dat when ur married... i's jus somethin dat has been done in indian culture... they gotta look out fa wha's best for not only dem, but their sikhi...

it's just in indian 'culture', we shouldn't look at culture when it comes to our sikhi ... gotta look at whats best for our sikhi before anythin else hunna

the guy might have issues living with the girls parents (ego reasons) so the best would be to just get their own place

it will not only b best for them, but even the guys family, it will avoid fights between the girl getting married into the family and the guys family

[chandanjit kaur]

Fateh

guys.....panji is askin for help on whether she should marry da guy or not....she aint askin whether she live wid da family or they both move out ......

Fateh

[Princess]

Soooo, do I look at him or his family ? I also keep being told it is a matter of sanjog, which is true but then at the same time, I don't want to marry, regret it and then feel guilty. Tricky huh ? :lol: @

Fateh

guys.....panji is askin for help on whether she should marry da guy or not....she aint askin whether she live wid da family or they both move out ......

Fateh

yes we understand that, but when we think about marriage, marrying the guy is not the final step, marriage is just the begining, what about afterwards? Where will they live? (the person starting the topic stated that the guy has hinted he doesn't want to live with his family) Can he support her if he doesn't live with his family? I think people were answering questions along these lines and the topic may have side-tracked to the 'future' after the actual marriage has taken place...keeping that in mind.... yes benji, whether she wants to live wit his family or not, will influence her decision on whether she shud marry the guy or not

[Jaspaul Singh]

Ok guys .. about the culture thing and if whether or not you could live wit your girls parents and not your own for sikhi purposes..

i somewhat agree and disagree to it ..

first of all .. yes sikhi is important.. thats number one so you look at that ..

second .. even if your parents are cruel n what not .. they still your parents and we gotta respect them and do utmost seva of them.. like for example..

in my case.. i know i will get my freedom and likewise my wife .. where my parents are non-amritdhari and hence their views are much different then mines, but i know that whatever they say will not effect my views on sikhi or my wife's .. like they mite say stuff here and there but overall its no biggy .. they still elders and will respect them and will give them the exact love and support they gave to me while raising me ..

eventhough some of us can live wit parents .. my other siblings may not have the same views as us .. so whos gona take care of the parents ? some may say oh let them live they can take care of themselves.. BUT it all depends how we are raised.. i dont see myself ever moving out on my parents ..

i knowmy decisions will be made by myself guru kirpa naal and advice may be given by parents ..but force is never used in my family .. which i am thankful for guru ji .. eventhough we dont have a great religious family like some of you are blessed wit .. im happy wit how are family is and will remain guru kirpa naal ..

As per for the bibi that originally posted above.. heres this moorakhs view..

consider this singh .. not everyones families are perfect .. talk to him more .. get to know their family more .. see what they expect of you .. would u have to cook meat for them ? would u have to serve alcohol to guests or meat when they visit ? would his parents force you into anything against your sikhi ?

my parents are not amritdhari and its only myself and my sis in my family kirpa naal .. but they still have that respect and never apply force even i would say for my sisters (less then average of what we here from strict punjabi parents here and in india)..

if you think that that singh is great in his sikhi values/morals .. dun lose him .. we are very hard to find.. j/k ..

bhul chuka maaph bhenji .. and best luck to u ! :TH:

[Princess]

if you think that that singh is great in his sikhi values/morals .. dun lose him .. we are very hard to find.. j/k ..

.......................................................... :lol:

[Guest proud to be singhnee...hiya all]

waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fatehhhhh to all after agesss

im kinda soo busy these days, and things are going reallllllly well........wahe guru

see you guys from time to time

amandeep kaur

Ik til nahi visre praan audharaaa.......

Waheguru.

[Guest HaRdKaUrWaRrIoRz]

can y'all jus live wit ur family rather then live wit his?

Fateh

....veerji.....i dun think it works dat way for girls..... :lol:

Fateh

not true, alot of men live with their soray..in my relatives, my friends' sisters' husbands, etc...

[heart]

proud to be singhneee, im glad to hear your back :lol: at least... from time to time! vaheguru

vahegurujeekakhalsa,vahegurujeekeefateh

[raju123]

Dear sis,

At the end of the day u are marrying him not his family !!!!!!!

Don’t get caught into his brother or sister is great cos he might be a XXXX,

Also don’t think his brother or sister are bad cos he just might be a great guy…….

Get to know him and him alone…..no matter how good his parents / relatives are its him that u are going to spend the rest of your life with..!!!!!

Just think if after marriage he wants to go to the other side of the world leaving everyone behind (family etc) are u going to stay with them ? or go with him ?

if u marry him cos your family likes his family and u two have nothing in common the u might end up having a married relationship like brother/sister …….. (like me).

[vaheguru ji de pyare]

Gurfateh ji

Vaheguru ji ka khalsa

Vaheguru ji ki fateh

Bhanji i think that you should not consider what his family background is u should just take in account of what sort of a person your families *husband in futrure* will be and how much faith he has in his sikhi otherwise when maybe in the future some incident occurs where u r firdrwan from your faith of sikhi, (sigh...) (hopefully never)

well wish u luck in ur decision pyarie bhanji :lol:

gurfeh ji

Vehguru ji ka khalsa

Vaheguru ji ki Fateh

P.S Rav (Ravindar Kaur)