Best Joke Of The Day

[chahat]

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading

a book and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The

little boy asked why he wore his collar that way.

The man, who was a priest, said, "I am a Father."

The little boy replied, "My Daddy doesn't wear his collar

like that."

The priest looked up from his book and answered, "I am

the Father of many."

The boy said, "My Dad has 4 boys, four girls, and two

grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way."

The priest, getting impatient, said, "I am the Father of

hundreds," and went back to reading his book.

The little boy sat quietly...but on leaving the bus, he

leaned over and said, "Well--maybe you should wear your

pants backwards instead of your collar."

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- Chahat

[chahat]

On friendship between women:

A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she

told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's

house.

The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of

them knew about it.

On Friendship between men:

A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told

his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house.

The woman

called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them

confirmed that yes, he had slept over and two claimed

that he was still there.

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- Chahat

[Guest Papi]

<--- the last one

but i didnt get the preist one :wub:

[chahat]

Wife : I wish i was a newspaper,

So i'd be in ur hands all day.

Husband : I too wish that u were a newspaper,

So i could have a new one everyday.

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- Chahat

[Guest Papi]

its funny cause its true :wub:

[Sarpanchni_007]

We are like this only So true , so very true .........

1. Everything you eat is savored in garlic, onion and tomatoes. YES

2. You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil. YES

3. You are Always standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the Airport. ACTUALLY OVER 2

4. You arrive one or two hours late to a party - and think it's normal. YES, LOL

5. You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to stamp. LOLZ, YEAAAAHHHH

6. You recycle Wedding Gifts , Birthday Gifts and Anniversary Gifts. NAH DUNO BOUT THAT

7. You name your children in rhythms (example, Sita & Gita, Ram & Shyam, Kamini & Shamini.) NOPE

8. All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere close to their real names. LOL SOME DO

9. You take Indian snacks anywhere it says "No Food Allowed" LOL YES

10. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house. LOL HELLLL YESSSS

11. You load up the family car with as many people as possible. HAHA ALWAYS

12. You use plastic to cover anything new in your house whether it's the remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch. HELLLL YESSSSS

13. Your parents tell you not to care what your friends think, but they won't let you do certain things because of what the other "Uncles and Aunties" will think. LOL... YEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

14. You buy and display crockery, which is never used , as it is for special occasions, which never happen. YEAAAHHH

15. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table. NOPE

16. You use grocery bags to hold garbage. LOL WELL OBVIOUSLY

17. You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as possible. YUUUPPP

18. Your kitchen shelf is full of jars, varieties of bowls and plastic utensils (got free with purchase of other stuff ) LOL...NAH NOT REALLY

19. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes). YEEESSSSS

20. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker. YEAAH BUT NEVER USE IT

21. You fight over who pays the dinner bill. NOPE

22. You live with your parents and you are 40 years old. ( And they prefer it that way). HMMM

23. You don't use measuring cups when cooking. URM NOPE, U USE COMMON SENSE

24. You never learnt how to stand in a queue. HAHA I KNO, THTS TRUE

25. You can only travel if there are 5 persons at least to see you off or receive you whether you are traveling by bus, train or plane. HAHAHA YEAHH

26. If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in knowing whose daughter has run with whose son and feel proud to spread it at the velocity of more than the speed of light. HAHAHAHA YEAAAH THE OLD BIBYAA'S CHUGLIYAA

27. You only make long distance calls after 11 p.m. 6 P.M. ACTUALLY

28. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight . LOL DUNNO

29. You call an older person you never met before Uncle or Aunty. HELL YESS, RESPECT INIT?

30. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you're talking to a distant cousin. NAAAHHH

31. Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making foreign calls. LOL YEAAAAHHHHH

32. You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them from getting dirty. LOL, YEAAAHHHH

33. It's embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people. NAH NOT REALLY

34. All your Tupperware is stained with food color. LOL LOL, NAAAHHH

35. You have drinking glasses made of steel. WELL YEAS

36. You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping. YUUUPPP TIME AGOO

[chahat]

One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. Unfortunately, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, the zookeeper grabs him and drags him into his office. The zookeeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly. The keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts.

So the next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before crowd comes. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime. However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he gets bored just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd loves it.

At the end of the day the zookeeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction as a gorilla. Well, this goes on for some time, the mime keeps taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up. Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion he slips and falls. The mime is terrified. The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce. The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind. Finally, the mime starts screaming and yelling, "Help, Help me!", but the lion is quick and pounces. The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says, "Shut up you <banned word filter activated>! Do you want to get us both fired?"

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- Chahat

[Guest Papi]

LOL the lion wasnt real either. but u know this one wasnt as funny as some of the other ones or maybe its cause i have a sore throat n my head it also starting to hurt :wub:

[Sarpanchni_007]

LOL the lion wasnt real either. but u know this one wasnt as funny as some of the other ones or maybe its cause i have a sore throat n my head it also starting to hurt :wub:

funny how your head hurts coz u make others head hurt..

Awgh nah hope u feel better :TH:

[Guest Papi]

you know you are punjabi when

1. your name ends with deep, jeet,preet,or inder

2. you smell like thurka every time you leave the house

3. your parents think junior college is a disgrace

4. if your 25 and not married your a lost case

5. you always hear about your smart cousins in india

6. other indians stare at you

7. you were the worst dressed in elementary school

8. you and your friends dance in a circle at clubs

9. you own a leather jacket which you have worn one too many times

10. you act hard only in front of other indians

11. guys: you have earings, goetee,and a gold chain

12. girls: you have short hair and colored contacts

13. guys: you wear the same pair of jeans 3x a week

14. girls: you wear the same langa to every other party

15. you think the word desi is cool

16. your favorite food is anykind of sabji

17. you don't go to weddings: just receptions

18. you have one nonindian friend

19. you think bhangra remix cds are off the hook especially if they have rap/hip hop in it

20.your parents say everything twice with the second word either starting with "sh" or having a "ooo" sound in it ,example: roti /shoti- cha /choo

21.you like adthrik(ginger)

22.your favorite word is kiddhan(wassup)

23.if you sneeze before going somewhere your "screwed"

24.you can't wash your hair on thursday cause something will >happen to your brother

25.you don't eat meat on tuesdays

26.when you were little your parents warned you that if you didn't listen "kala aju gha pher"

27.you have an uncle who wears tennis shoes with slacks

28.your always looking for a discount

29.you know which way is "khabay" and which way is sajhay"

30.you clean your ears with your car keys(GROSS)

31.girls:you wear open toed shoes even when its raining

32.guys:you mix major brand names within one outfit example (nike shoes with adidas cap)

33.you have lots and lots of friends (in indian chat rooms only)

34.your scared of your mom's driving

35.your dad dances funny

36.you eat achar with everything

37.smell something, yeah cheap cologne and ladies imitation perfume

38.have to wait for an hour by the door while your parents say goodbye to their guests

39.always hear about how much jameen your folks own in india

40.drink cha 4 to 5 times daily

41.your parents always refer you to go to indian doctors and dentists

42.girls:wear a langa to the prom

43.always know the fashion trend a year and 1/2 later

44.use suave hair shampoo

45.leave the plastic on your mattress

46.use baby oil on your hair

47.have a tissue box on the dinner table

48.your family saves yogurt containers to store other food in them

49.use plastic plates at a dinner party

50.always give a shagun when someone new comes to your house

51.have toothbrushes with jacked up bristles

52.drive a hooptie benz

53.save your receipts for anything

54.call your brother "phaji"

55.girls:like your pants to flood

56.spit game in punjabi

57.dance at parties as though your on a bhangra team

58.know all the words to songs played at recepetions

59. have an enormous hindi dvd collection

60.have your ad in the matrimonial section in your local indian newspaper