Best Joke Of The Day

[chahat]

A man and his wife were driving on the

highway when a state policeman appeared in

their mirror, obviously wanting them to pull

over. The man pulls over and the officer

approaches the car:

State cop: License and registration please

Man: I'm sorry officer, what seems to be the

problem?

State cop: I clocked you on radar doing

75mph.

Man: There must be some mistake, I was only

going 65.

Wife: Oh Harold, you were going at least 80!

State cop: I'm also citing you for having a

tail light out.

Man: But officer, I wasn't aware it was out.

Wife: Oh Harold, you know its been out for

two months.

State cop: I'm also fining you for not

wearing your seat belt.

Man: But officer, I just took it off as you

were approaching my car.

Wife: Oh Harold, you know you never wear your

seat belt.

Man: Listen you dumb cow, shut your mouth!!!

State cop: Ma'am, does he always talk to you

this way?

Wife: Only when he's drunk.......

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- Chahat

[Khalsa_Girl_1]

A man and his wife were driving on the

highway when a state policeman appeared in

their mirror, obviously wanting them to pull

over. The man pulls over and the officer

approaches the car:

State cop: License and registration please

Man: I'm sorry officer, what seems to be the

problem?

State cop: I clocked you on radar doing

75mph.

Man: There must be some mistake, I was only

going 65.

Wife: Oh Harold, you were going at least 80!

State cop: I'm also citing you for having a

tail light out.

Man: But officer, I wasn't aware it was out.

Wife: Oh Harold, you know its been out for

two months.

State cop: I'm also fining you for not

wearing your seat belt.

Man: But officer, I just took it off as you

were approaching my car.

Wife: Oh Harold, you know you never wear your

seat belt.

Man: Listen you dumb cow, shut your mouth!!!

State cop: Ma'am, does he always talk to you

this way?

Wife: Only when he's drunk.......

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- Chahat

wow

and i thought I was stupid :wub: @

[chahat]

Cat in home, Man lost no direction

A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and

decided to get rid of him one day by driving

him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him

at the park.

As he was getting home, the cat was walking

up the driveway.

The next day he decided to drive the cat 40

blocks away. He put the beast out and headed

home.

Driving back up his driveway, there was the

cat!

He kept taking the cat further and further

and the cat would always beat him home. At

last he decided to drive a few miles away,

turn right, then left, past the bridge, then

right again and another right until he

reached what he thought was a safe distance

from his home and left the cat there.

Hours later the man calls home to his wife:

"Jen, is the cat there?"

"Yes," the wife answers, "why do you ask?"

Frustrated, the man answered, "Put that son

of a [censored] on the phone, I'm lost! and

need directions!"

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- Chahat

[chahat]

Universal Law:

Love can neither be created nor be destroyed, only it can transfer

from one girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money.

First Law:

A boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl

in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, untill on unless

any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and

break the legs of the boy.

Second Law:

The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is

directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and

the direction of this love is same to as increament or decreament of

the bank balance.

Third law:

The force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and

opposite to the force applied by the girl while using her sandals.

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- Chahat

[Guest Papi]

o ma

[_K_]

Universal Law:

Love can neither be created nor be destroyed, only it can transfer

from one girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money.

:wub: Hess's law

[chahat]

A cat died and went to heaven. God met her at the pearly gates, petted

Her on the head and said, you have been a good cat for these 40 years.

Anything you want is yours for the asking.

The cat thought for a minute and replied, all my life i have lived on

A farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy

Pillow to sleep on.

God said, say no more. Instantly the cat had a huge, fluffy pillow.

A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident, and they all

Went to heaven together. God met them at the gates of heaven with the

Same offer he made to the cat.

The mice said, well, all our lives we've had to run from dogs, cats

And even people with brooms. If we could just have some little roller

Skates, we'd never have to run again.

God said, it is done! All the mice had beautiful little roller skates.

About a week later, god decided to check on the cat. He found her

Sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked,

Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy?

The cat replied, oh, i've never been so happy in my life! My pillow is

So fluffy, and those little meals-on-wheels you've been sending over are

Delicious!

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- Chahat

Do you like to read funny love sms? Click here

[Guest Papi]

damn cat

[chahat]

We are like this only So true , so very true .........

1. Everything you eat is savored in garlic, onion and tomatoes.

2. You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil.

3. You are Always standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the Airport.

4. You arrive one or two hours late to a party - and think it's normal.

5. You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to stamp.

6. You recycle Wedding Gifts , Birthday Gifts and Anniversary Gifts.

7. You name your children in rhythms (example, Sita & Gita, Ram & Shyam, Kamini & Shamini.)

8. All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere close to their real names.

9. You take Indian snacks anywhere it says "No Food Allowed"

10. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.

11. You load up the family car with as many people as possible.

12. You use plastic to cover anything new in your house whether it's the remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch.

13. Your parents tell you not to care what your friends think, but they won't let you do certain things because of what the other "Uncles and Aunties" will think.

14. You buy and display crockery, which is never used , as it is for special occasions, which never happen.

15. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.

16. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.

17. You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as possible.

18. Your kitchen shelf is full of jars, varieties of bowls and plastic utensils (got free with purchase of other stuff )

19. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes).

20. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker.

21. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.

22. You live with your parents and you are 40 years old. ( And they prefer it that way).

23. You don't use measuring cups when cooking.

24. You never learnt how to stand in a queue.

25. You can only travel if there are 5 persons at least to see you off or receive you whether you are traveling by bus, train or plane.

26. If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in knowing whose daughter has run with whose son and feel proud to spread it at the velocity of more than the speed of light.

27. You only make long distance calls after 11 p.m.

28. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight .

29. You call an older person you never met before Uncle or Aunty.

30. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you're talking to a distant cousin.

31. Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making foreign calls.

32. You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them from getting dirty.

33. It's embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people.

34. All your Tupperware is stained with food color.

35. You have drinking glasses made of steel.

36. You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping.

37. You have really enjoyed reading this mail - forward it to as many Indians as possible

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- Chahat

[Guest Papi]

errr some of them arent true :hmm

but then again most are :wub:

i'm going to try n dig up this one email i got a long time ago titled 'YOu know you are punjabi when....'