Best Joke Of The Day

[chahat]

Husband and Wife in the mental home walking

along by the pond ..

he falls in .. she drags him out and gives

him the kiss of of life before the emergency

services get there and he survives .....

the doctor say to her:-

'if you can jump in and save your husbands

life like you just did, then you shouldnt be

here ..your not mad at all ..i'll be around

later to discharge you'.

Later that afternoon...the doctor arrives in

her room with a nurse and says:-

'I have some good news and bad news ..what do

you want first?'

she decides to have the good news first ..

doctor says:-

'well as you know I said we would be

discharging you and I'm pleased to say you

can go home'

she says:-

'thank you doctor .. by the way what's the

bad news?'

he says:-

'i'm sorry to tell you your husband hung

himself at lunchtime .. he's dead'

she laughs and says:-

'Oh no he didn't .. that was me I hung him up

to dry!'

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- Chahat

[Guest Papi]

[guess who]

loool

[chahat]

A couple had two little boy's, ages eight and

ten, who were excessively mischievious.

The two were always getting into trouble,

and their Parents could be confident that if

any mischief occurred in their town,

their two young son's were involved in some

capacity or other.

The Parent's were at their wit's end as to

what to do about their son's behavior.

The Parents had heard that a clergyman in

town had been successful in disciplining

children in the past.

So they contacted him, and he agreed to give

it his best shot.

He asked to see the boy's individually, so

the eight year old was sent to meet with him

first.

The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him

sternly, "Where is God?"

The boy made no response, so the clergyman

repeated the question in an even sterner

tone, "Where is God?"

Again the boy made no attempt to answer, so

the clergyman raised his voice even more and

shook his finger in the boys face, "WHERE IS

GOD?"

At that, the boy bolted from the room, ran

directly home, and slammed himself in his

closet.

His older brother followed him into the

closet and said,"What happened?"

The younger brother replied, "We are in BIG

trouble this time, God is missing and they

think we did it!"

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- Chahat

[Guest Papi]

man where u find thes things

[chahat]

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

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- Chahat

[chahat]

Amitabh : Apka 13th question 25 lakh ke leye yeh raha apke samne..

Contestant Santa Singh is tensed.

Amitabh : Who is the father of Abhishek Bacchan

ON Computer Screen:

A. Amitabh Bacchan B. Laloo Prasad Yadav

C. Azaruddin D. General Perverz Musharaff .

Amitabh : Apka kya jawab hai ? ( He is quite sure that Santa will opt

for A)

But Santa is still confused.

Amitabh : Apke pas do life line hai..50:50 and phone a friend.

Santa: I think it is A, but am not sure.

Amitabh : Not sure... Hmmm ap kya karna chahenge?

Santa : I would like to use 50:50?

Amitabh: Ok computer , 2 galat javabo ko mita de..

Computer after deleting two names, leaves two options which are: -

B. Laloo Prasad Yadav.

C. Moh. Azharuddin.

Amitabh is confused and tensed thinks how come the computer has made

this mistake But as is said in bollywood the show must go on.

Now Santa is confused.

Santa: I would like to use the last life line phone a friend..

Amitabh : Ap kisko phone karna chahenge?

Santa : "Mein Jaya Bachan ji ko phone karna chahoonga...."

Amitabh Fainted !!!!!

And the call is now connected to Jayabachan and listen ......

Santa asked the question to Jaya.

Santa : " Jayaji , Who is the father of Abhishek Bacchan ?

Jaya Bachan: Give me the options!!!!!!

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- Chahat

[Khalsa_Girl_1]

my replies to

We are like this only So true , so very true .........

1. Everything you eat is savored in garlic, onion and tomatoes.

-NOPE

2. You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil.

-NOPE

3. You are Always standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the Airport.

-HAVEN'T NOTICED

4. You arrive one or two hours late to a party - and think it's normal.

-DON'T GO TO THEM

5. You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to stamp.

-NOPE

6. You recycle Wedding Gifts , Birthday Gifts and Anniversary Gifts.

-NOPE

7. You name your children in rhythms (example, Sita & Gita, Ram & Shyam, Kamini & Shamini.)

-NOT IN MY FAM :D

8. All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere close to their real names.

-YES!! (AND TOO MANY OF THEM) loll

9. You take Indian snacks anywhere it says "No Food Allowed"

-NOPE

10. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.

-YES

11. You load up the family car with as many people as possible.

-NOPE :s

12. You use plastic to cover anything new in your house whether it's the remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch.

-NOPE :s

13. Your parents tell you not to care what your friends think, but they won't let you do certain things because of what the other "Uncles and Aunties" will think.

-NOT QUITE SURE.. hmmm :cry:

14. You buy and display crockery, which is never used , as it is for special occasions, which never happen.

-NOPE. MY FAM USES THEM FOR SPECIAL OCCASIONS.

15. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.

-NOPE

16. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.

-NOPE

17. You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as possible.

-NOPE

18. Your kitchen shelf is full of jars, varieties of bowls and plastic utensils (got free with purchase of other stuff )

-NOPE ..never heard of this one :cry:

19. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes).

-NOPE

20. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker.

YES!

21. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.

-NOPE..WE DONT EAT OUT

22. You live with your parents and you are 40 years old. ( And they prefer it that way).

- umm...

23. You don't use measuring cups when cooking.

-NOPE.. we use them unless its for chaa (tea) and roti and pizza

24. You never learnt how to stand in a queue.

-NOPE. i learnt how to from my rents. though sometimes it seems as if they dont follow it

25. You can only travel if there are 5 persons at least to see you off or receive you whether you are traveling by bus, train or plane.

-NOPE

26. If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in knowing whose daughter has run with whose son and feel proud to spread it at the velocity of more than the speed of light.

-NOPE (though the elderly bibiaa like doin that :D )

27. You only make long distance calls after 11 p.m.

-NOPE

28. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight .

-....

29. You call an older person you never met before Uncle or Aunty.

-YES

30. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you're talking to a distant cousin.

-NOPE

31. Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making foreign calls.

-NOPE

32. You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them from getting dirty.

-HELL NO

33. It's embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people.

-I DONT KNOW. I'VE ONLY BEEN TO 2

34. All your Tupperware is stained with food color.

-NOPE... (my fam hardly uses tupperware)

35. You have drinking glasses made of steel.

-WHEN SINGHS/SINGHNEES COME OVER

36. You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping.

-NOPE

[chahat]

A little kid asks his father, "daddy, is god a man or a woman?"

"Both son. God is both."

After a while the kid comes again and asks, "daddy, is god black or white?"

"Both son, both."

The child returns a few minutes later and says, "daddy, is michael jackson god?"

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- Chahat

[dhan sikhi]

There came a big flood, and the water around Bhola's house was rising steadily..

Bhola was standing on the porch, watching water rising all around him, when a man in a boat came along and called to Bhola, "Get in the boat and I'll get you out of here. Bhola replied, "No thanks, God will save me."

Bhola went into the house, and the water was starting to pour in. So, he went up to the second floor.

As he looked out, another man in a boat came along, and he called to Bhola, "Get in the boat and I'll get you out of here."

Again, Bhola replied, "No thanks. God will save me."

The water kept rising. So, Bhola got out onto the roof.

A helicopter flew over, and the pilot called down to Bhola, "I'll drop you a rope,grab onto it, and I'll get you out of here."

Again Bhola replied, "No thanks. God will save me."

The water rose and rose, and soon nearly covered the whole house. Bhola fell in, and drowned.

When he arrived in Heaven, he saw God, and asked Him, "Why didn't you save me from that terrible flood? Did I not show you my faith?"

With a loving but irritated tone God replied, "What more would you have me do? I sent people in two boats and a helicopter?"