Best Joke Of The Day

[Harjap]

hahhahahaha very funny :wub:

[avtar80]

gd jokes :wub:

[Singh With Dunalli]

:e: :TH:

[chahat]

A girl proposed to Ramji and he denied simply saying that in our family, we marry only our relatives. My mom married my dad , my uncle married my aunt and so on. So please excuse me !!!!!

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- Chahat

[Akhoza]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8CXfv8EXeQ :wub:

<admin-profanity filter activated> haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[chahat]

A dog thinks that you feed him, comfort him and love him - You must be God.

A cat thinks that you feed him, comfort him and love him - I must be God.

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- Chahat

[Guest Papi]

^^^ moral of the story: become a dog, a kooker

[chahat]

So a 2 letter word has a hundred completely different meanings. So

what is this stuff about English being easy?

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meaning than any

other two-letter word, and that is "UP."

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of

the list, but when we waken in the morning, why do we wake UP?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are

the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to

write UP a report?

We call UP our friends And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP

the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.

We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.

At other times the little word has real special meaning.

People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and

think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing:

A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP We open UP a store

in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!

To be knowledgeable of the proper uses of UP, look UP the word in the

dictionary. In a desk size dictionary, the word up, takes UP almost

1/4th the page and definitions add UP to about thirty.

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways

UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give

UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun

comes out we say it is clearing UP.

When it rains, it wets UP the earth. When it doesn't rain for awhile,

things dry UP.

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP,

so.............

I'll shut UP...

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- Chahat

[chahat]

Three golfing partners died in a car wreck and went to heaven. Upon

arrival they discover the most beautiful golf course they have ever

seen. St. Peter tells them that they are all welcome to play the

course, but he cautions them that there is only one rule:

Don't hit the ducks.

The men all have blank expressions, and finally one of them asks "The

ducks?"

"Yes", St. Peter replies, "There are millions of ducks walking around

the course and if one gets hit, he squawks then the one next to him

squawks and soon they're all squawkin to beat the band, and it really

breaks the tranquility. If you hit the ducks, you'll be punished,

otherwise everything is yours to enjoy."

After entering the course, the men noted that there was indeed a

gaggle of ducks everywhere.

Within fifteen minutes, one of the guys hit one of them. The duck

squawked, the one next to it squawked and soon there was a deafening

roar of duck quacks.

St. Peter walked up with an extremely ugly woman in tow and asked "Who

hit the duck?"

The one who had done it admitted "I did."

Immediately, St. Peter pulled out a pair of handcuffs and cuffed the

man's right hand to the ugly woman's left hand. "I told you not to hit

the ducks," he said.

"Now you'll be handcuffed together for eternity.

The other two men were very cautious not to hit any ducks, but a

couple of weeks later, one of them accidentally did. The quacks were

as deafening as before and within minutes St. Peter walked up with an

even uglier woman than before. St. Peter determined which one had hit

the duck by the fear in his face, and cuffed the man's right hand to

the ugly woman's left hand.

"I told you not to hit the ducks", he said. "Now you'll be handcuffed

together for eternity."

The third man was extremely careful. Some days he wouldn't even move

for fear of even nudging a duck. After three months of this he still

hadn't hit a duck. St. Peter walked up to the man at the end of the

three months and had with him a knock-out gorgeous woman, the most

beautiful woman the man had ever seen. St. Peter smiled to the man and

then, without a word, handcuffed him to the beautiful woman and walked

off.

The man, knowing that he would be handcuffed to this woman for

eternity, let out a sigh and said "What have I done to deserve this?"

The woman responded "I don't know about you, but I hit a duck."

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- Chahat

[Guest HaRdKaUrWaRrIoRz]

you know you are punjabi when

1. your name ends with deep, jeet,preet,or inder

2. you smell like thurka every time you leave the house

3. your parents think junior college is a disgrace

4. if your 25 and not married your a lost case

5. you always hear about your smart cousins in india

6. other indians stare at you

7. you were the worst dressed in elementary school

8. you and your friends dance in a circle at clubs

9. you own a leather jacket which you have worn one too many times

10. you act hard only in front of other indians

11. guys: you have earings, goetee,and a gold chain

12. girls: you have short hair and colored contacts

13. guys: you wear the same pair of jeans 3x a week

14. girls: you wear the same langa to every other party

15. you think the word desi is cool

16. your favorite food is anykind of sabji

17. you don't go to weddings: just receptions

18. you have one nonindian friend

19. you think bhangra remix cds are off the hook especially if they have rap/hip hop in it

20.your parents say everything twice with the second word either starting with "sh" or having a "ooo" sound in it ,example: roti /shoti- cha /choo

21.you like adthrik(ginger)

22.your favorite word is kiddhan(wassup)

23.if you sneeze before going somewhere your "screwed"

24.you can't wash your hair on thursday cause something will >happen to your brother

25.you don't eat meat on tuesdays

26.when you were little your parents warned you that if you didn't listen "kala aju gha pher"

27.you have an uncle who wears tennis shoes with slacks

28.your always looking for a discount

29.you know which way is "khabay" and which way is sajhay"

30.you clean your ears with your car keys(GROSS)

31.girls:you wear open toed shoes even when its raining

32.guys:you mix major brand names within one outfit example (nike shoes with adidas cap)

33.you have lots and lots of friends (in indian chat rooms only)

34.your scared of your mom's driving

35.your dad dances funny

36.you eat achar with everything

37.smell something, yeah cheap cologne and ladies imitation perfume

38.have to wait for an hour by the door while your parents say goodbye to their guests

39.always hear about how much jameen your folks own in india

40.drink cha 4 to 5 times daily

41.your parents always refer you to go to indian doctors and dentists

42.girls:wear a langa to the prom

43.always know the fashion trend a year and 1/2 later

44.use suave hair shampoo

45.leave the plastic on your mattress

46.use baby oil on your hair

47.have a tissue box on the dinner table

48.your family saves yogurt containers to store other food in them

49.use plastic plates at a dinner party

50.always give a shagun when someone new comes to your house

51.have toothbrushes with jacked up bristles

52.drive a hooptie benz

53.save your receipts for anything

54.call your brother "phaji"

55.girls:like your pants to flood

56.spit game in punjabi

57.dance at parties as though your on a bhangra team

58.know all the words to songs played at recepetions

59. have an enormous hindi dvd collection

60.have your ad in the matrimonial section in your local indian newspaper

LMAO OMG THIS IS SOOO FUNNY, especially number 8, u got me cryin man