My Lying Dad! :(:@

[Pakandi baba]

Satguru Hoye Diyal -True Guru will be merciful

[Guest _unknown_]

:lol: whats <admin-profanity filter activated>?

[Guest KL]

as others have said...u have an elder bro? or is he young? well at least u have support. u need to pay attention to those things. look for positive aspects of your life. i know it is hard to do that, especially when ur home seem like a mess.

but ur real home for right is ur body! Akal lives in there ...find it...u have to find peace in that. and it is only IN UR HANDS. no one controls ur happiness itz only u, ur self(by Gurus grace). Guru sahib gives us tools, and walks us thorough the path ..guiding us on every step..but we need to let first let our mind hearthose guidance,and need to quite other thoughst that are negative.

u can either look at what u going through as a painful experience or view it as a chance to get close to something that is real.

get in sangat of good people who are positive, and read gurbani, do simran, with them. if there isn;t anyone start reading gurbani or listening to it. find a shabd that u understand. do choupaye sahib if nothing else.

start goin to the gurdwara. im serious...i used to sit there and cry, because kirtan would jus reveal my pain...and i knew i wasn't alone. guru sahib knows everything...and to tell u the truth ...whenevr i would got to gurdwara....shabd that was played and the hukum guru sahib would give would jus describe me.

understand the reality of this universe jio...there are only few who get to walk on the path of spirituality/sikhi

its only by grace.

do ardas...and def get ur self listening to bani and simran. i used to sit in my room and cry, because of the pain and whatevr was going on the family. evethogh i had otehr realtives living around...no one would ever care. u would assume that someone would come and console u. it was really hard for me. i remebr i started looking for love and care from people out side of the family..and ended up with a guy who was way olderthen me. jus a bf. eventhough i would have never though of doing such a thing but i needed the care and support of someone. no one was there as a father figure and the guy i was with is where i got that care and love. got abused by him emotionally, but didnt care cuz at least i knew someone who cared about me.

he cheated on me too...and i was broke. still have hard time trusting people. but Gurbani is a treasure

ur best friend you lover evrything u need is provided.

sun yaar hamarey sajjan ik karoo baynandita realized this is what i was looking for ..the TRUEST OF TRUE LOVE! EVERYTHING IS IN IT...there are things that we dont even know about.

here have a listen:

http://www.sikhnet.com/Sikhnet/Music.nsf/a...33;OpenDocument

dont drink...dont smoke...what will tehy give u? i had thought about those things..but at the end of it never had anyones influence...inside knew it was wrong. why would i wanna punish my self with those things? its a behavior we learn from outside people. whatevr we see we do that. cuz we can't think or know any other options.

here is a big hugggg for you jiooo.....dont feell like no one cares or life is suppose to be that way. its not. let Akal take care of ur taskz/life. we really dont hve to do anything. let him work through u!

make ur self srtong so that you can help others who are going through the same thing. im sure it isn't u alone, and there are many more kids around the world whoa re going through the same thing...so take your experince and see how you can help them(biggest Seva ever)

now its only ur choice...either to go on the path of destruction and make ur self more misrable or choose to live like a princess, the way we all should be living(ur birthright which is taken away by this mayavi game)

its gonna take time, but let waheguru(the inner self of u) help u and heel you.

waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh ji!

[Guest KL]

here is one more shabd

http://www.sikhnet.com/Sikhnet/Music.nsf/a...33;OpenDocument

[Guest krodh]

KL penji thanks 4 that, that was sooo deep, just what i needed 2 hear, and over the past couple of weeks ive come to know there are alot more others that live in th same situations, an example of th person above whose dad "is at it2", i should count myself lucky that no one has been beaten yet....

i know exactly what u mean about crying whilst listening to kirtan/ reading hukkamnama it happens 2 me all the time.. i know i have a support is just that i need make that support stronger so that things liek this will seem trivial to me

thank you, all of you x

[Jasy]

If you feel like talkin just chose someone from sikhsangat and pm them (you can do that once you register), i am pretty sure there are a lot of people here who can make things better for you .

STOP SMOKING, STOP DRINKING...If you don't Guru Ji to baut KUTT pau gi pher swad aau ga :lol:

I totally agree with him, thats what i do when im in trouble i just Pm anyone, and u kno what the best part is the advice that they give you is in collaboration with all the sikhi guidelines, i mean it is perfect, because they keep in mid that you are a Sikh and that u kno there are many things that wouldnt be right for you too do so they dont even mention those, instead they mention gurbani and tell you to do Naam Simran.

Bhul Chukh Maaf

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

[sikh12910]

whoever u are and also the person that started this thread, i really feel for u, but dont talk about suicide which is cowardly, im a 19 yr old girl thats been thru the exact same thing and have come out strong as hell but there was only one thing that actually helped me..

pleaseeeeeeeeee dont give up. u were born for a reason and are here for a purpose greater than u may think.my attitude used to be EXACTLY the same as urs, i used to cry EVERY SINGLE NIGHT, carried sooooooo much emotional pain everyday that really screwed me up for agess and going to school (which was very rare later on cuz i couldnt handle putting n a happy face when i was dying inside) and n pretending everything was ok laughing n having jkes with mates and sometimes thinking i couldnt keep it up, and all the while thinking why meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, why has god punished me so bloody much. I was seriously losin it, if i didnt pray i swear down id be mental by now, councillors dont really do much either unles theyre asian cos they dont have the same perspective.i only justttt scraped thru a levels and uni cos gods blessed me with a bloody good brain lol, hand on heart no bragging or <admin-profanity filter activated>, revision was all night before, in fact it was more like learning cos i didnt properly open my textbook until then, n i go predicted all e's n u's but im telling u now and im sayin this seriously and not just bragging, if i could do it which was a miracle to my teachers, friends and parents, then anyone can.

my dad was at it for 10 yrs, probably more, having a few affairs, but one main one with a muslim <admin-profanity filter activated>, coming home n beating the <admin-profanity filter activated> out of my mum, for 10 yrs. ive seen more violence and obscenities than i could EVER have thought possible from such a young age, my dad used to go skitz, get drunk as hell and high on drugs, which we didnt know then, and beat the <admin-profanity filter activated> out of my mum, im talking slamming her hed againt a brick wall 10 times kinda beating, wacking her with metal etc u get my drift of just how severe this <admin-profanity filter activated> was. she constanlty had a migrane and i never saw her without a huge buise on her face, eyes, arm, legs. n she had to put on a brave face for everyone and keep at it cos she had a family to provide for. he dressed her like a pakki n used to go mad every single time we went on a family trip which was every weekend, and which we all absoluely dreaded just like every time we went to a realtives house cos it alway turned into a nightmare that lasted till the early hours of the morning and happened while my mum was driving, the number of accidents weve almost had cos our dad was beating my mum while she was driving or he was drink driving n throwing a fit is unbeliveable.

us kids were stuck in the house, never allowed out cos our dad would take it out on our mum and even on the occassions that we were allowed out, not wanting to leave our mum or each other in the company of the psychopath. there was no rest or time away from it, we were in it all the time.

my dad used to have a stash of knives, lead pipes crowbars and his favorite axe that he used to keep near his bed to threaten her and later on us with. im gna kill u was his favorite line. the doors in our house were always broken since i can remeber, holes in doors, cutains always ripped off, furniture and windows broken. i cannot expalain to u how scared we were of him and how SKITZ and psycopathical he used to get, he had a split, psychadellic split personality, talk to himself, cry and shout and hit at the same time, say and swear the most disgusting things imaginable.he made our lives a living hell all our lives until 2 yrs ago and even now we have to put up with his crazy <admin-profanity filter activated> but at least hes not hitting anymore. it is very natural to contemplate suicide over this <admin-profanity filter activated>, every single meber of my family has countless times, and ppl think about it over minor things aswell, but thatd be such a huge sin, ur here for a reason and thats the cowardly way out. u just gotta soldier it out.

we used to have everything, money cars, possessions, but thats all material <admin-profanity filter activated> and we've since traded it all to come overseas and move to a place closer to family, who all disowned us after my mum refused to divorce my father cos he was threatening suicide, the lying crazy coward. our new life is <admin-profanity filter activated> in all aspects apart from the fact that we have each other and the nightnmare is over and that makes it ALL worth it we've always had to be there for our mum, she turned into a nervous wreck for so many years, thought u had to take this <admin-profanity filter activated> cuz her mum got minorly slapped a few times by her own dad and she took it and kept it all quiet. mum shouldered all the responsibility of her own business, looking after 4 small children and later on 5, all born within a year of each other, having to cook clean for her trifling husband when she got home only to get a full scale beating when he used to come in from his sessions with disgusting pig of a mistress. our mum used to hit us when we were little and snap over the smallest things but knows that she was just trying to deal with the stress of our dad.

like the thread starter, there was no hard evidence and still isnt that my dad had the affair but when you walk into a place and ur dad is doing up his fly buttons and the woman looks all ruffled and is doing up her middle blouse buttons, and they were found countlesss times together looking cosy and jumpy n when u find so many little pieces of evidence like urself theres no questioning whats goin on. the muslim cows son is the spitting image of our dad so theres no questioning where hes from either as her n her husband are both dark n ugly and my dad and his half caste son are fair. take it from me, u should be veryyyy glad your dad is in jail,we used to call the cops on our dad evry weekend from 6 yrs ago but just say that he was shouting n throwing things generally, i wish wed had told them he was beating our precious beautiful soldier of a mother. finally 2 yrs ago we called the cops after he hit her n wacked me into our kitchen counter and i gopt a bruise on the hand. mum didnt give a statement but i did, i was scared as hell but mum sed it was ok this time. he went to jail for 5 months and although i get the blame, even from my siblings, he has completely changed, trust me a criminal record can work cos they get scared of jail where they see guys getting raped by other guys and disgusting things happening. he would never touchhhh my mum and although hes been unemployed for over 10 yrs and we are strugging like hell to make ends meet in this country he steps up to the resonsibily of my youngest brother now, droppig and picking him up from school which is more than hes done in years, howeer he does still shout and throw things occassionly only recently tho, think hes been on coke for a little while now, and althogh that gets scary its NOTHING compared to what we used to go thru. our familys been though sooo much and given up a life and friends to come here, all because of ONE EVIL person. we used to hate him but we laugh at him now cos he has noones respect. he used to look at us and wed get scared as hell but its crazy to see how much has changed.

anyways i no that was one longgggggg <admin-profanity filter activated> thread but theres still more loll. i jus wna say that ONE STUPID peron like that is not worth your time of day. like i said, be GLAD hes in jail and not hurting ur mum, although u may even feel sorry for him he has brought it upon himself and this is proof that god is on URS AND UR MUMS SIDE and has helped u, and as much as u n ur mum may fight, she loves u really, its just the way indian families are, my mum was the same, but shes hurting right now and will hurt a million times more if she finds out what ur upto, ur sinning just like ur dad, trust me i know. our family was NEVER religious till a year before our lives changed for the better ad we moved here. my mum NEVER prayed, but since she has started our lives have changed and god has given us another chance at life and for my brothers to do different. trust me its GOD and noone lese that will get u thru.

i started praying my own litle prayers here n there 2 yrs ago but i was going on n off, drinking every 2 weeks and eventually at uni, every 2 days if not 4 days in a row, getting <Edited> fof my head and smoking daily to deal with the pain and stress and also a few relationship issues that stemmed from my being Sooooo paranoid as a result of what happened with my parents. it was the first time i had ever been in one and trust me it didnt last long! people are constatntly complimenting me and tellng me im so lucky cos im fair and pretty and im always getting asked out but none of that matters cos im scarred on the inside and i dont hold myself in any worth at all as much as i may get bigged up. even if i really like i guy ill reject him cos i think ill just screw it up and scare him away with all the emotional baggage and crazy paraniod talk like i have done before, only when i got drunk though. i finally realised enogh is enough after being so dependant on alcohol, trust me BADDDDD things can potentially happen when ur drunk and i saw soo much <admin-profanity filter activated> at uni that i dont ever wanna see again. i stopped drinking but continused to smoke, then i stopped smoking and continues to drink.

then i thought <admin-profanity filter activated> this <admin-profanity filter activated>, im SO different to other people, god must have given me this suffering for a reason, and he has, punishment for past lives not this life and i looked at it in the sense that i really have become a better person because of all of it. i once got called brown trash at uni and i realise what the guy meant now. i was never brown trash until started to do exactly wht started my dad off, DRINK. it dont matter how much of a good person u are, n my dad used to be the BEST DAD ever back in the day, DRINK AND INTOXICANTS, SOME OF THE 5 SINS IN SIKHISM WILL SCREW EVERYONE UP EVENTUALLY. it ruins ur aura and ruins ur chances of mediating successfully which eventually gets u a oneness with god. i would never for the life of me have seen myself praying before but i do now, and read the english translations but say the punjabi words out loud. these words have power, trust, and ull start to feel so much at peace that even ur friends will start telling u how u always look happy awake and that ur glowing. ive seen a complet turnaround, i was a typical upset little druggie <admin-profanity filter activated> before but im such a happy social nice person now and everyone has told me they see such a difference.

giving up drink was a veryyyyy hard thing to do and i dont know a single person that doesnt drink and only a couple that dont smoke. and as for my mates, all of them drink and only couple dont smoke and smoke weed. but i would NVER go back after this neverrr and it was a piece of cake in comparison to the nightmare i went thru as a child and an early teen. i feel like my expereince has empowered me and i can do so much and help so mny ppl gain strength. it has prepared me for a life where i am scared of absoluetly nothing and would never hurt anyoneee and only do good, i wouldnt chnge what i went thru for anything. i dont <admin-profanity filter activated>, shout, hit or scream, i feel so much shaanti and i thankgod that he has given me and my mum and my family this blessing and helped us to get thru it all. o yeh and btw my mum found out i ws doing all this aswell, drinking n getting <Edited> most nights during uni and in the holidays and most friday nights during As and A levels and smoking so u can imagine how much more i had to deal with. but she knew i wouldnt listen to her, i did it by choice, taking it as a sign and a blessing later on. my life is absoluelty amazing now and theres nthing more i could wish for, amazing friends and a screwed up and but loving family in which each of us are so different but we're binded together by everything.

Have hope u aint screwed at all, uve been blessed, in a weird roundabout way i no it sounds reallyyyy really corny but if u see ur expereince for what it is ull realise theres a reason for everything. dont be put off by all these people that think they are holy and think that noone can be forgiven and helped if they have ever drank, smoked or taken drugs cos its a lie and i am a perfect example of that. noone will ever know what uve been thru and hw much uv cried except god. noone is really here for u and u cant trust anyone exceopt god, as im sure uve prob realisd at uni. nothing in this world is lasting, its all like a dream and a test in which u need to resisit temptation, experince suffering, love and the emotion that u do not feel when ur in sachkhand (heaven). sounds crazy but talk to god, tell him ur problems but respect him at the same time by not drinkin n smoking cuz thats pretty disrespectful and shows that u old ur mates and ur own desires in more high esteem than HIM. that craps only gna screw u up much more than the normal person cos of all uve been thu like it did me for 3 yrs during a levels and the first yr of uni, im in my 2nd nw. n HE wont help u as much- u need more help than anyone trust me, u are DIFFERENT in a good way and u need to except it, all alot of asians think about is social <admin-profanity filter activated> esp at uni n how theyre gna get that person to go out with them or sleep with them, or how theyve gotta dress better than aother person, but uv got much more to deal with than them . its times like these in which ur pushed closer to god, and when one commits evil, the victim usually comes out stronger, dont weaken urslef, be the amazing warrior princess ur meant to be n fight it with the name of god cos that all thats gna get u out of it eventually. soldier it out mate n even if the rest of ur life does turn out <admin-profanity filter activated> which is very unlikely if u pray, at least just no wen u die ull have a peaceful place in heavan. goodluck n godbless,

remeber u more than anyone needs to stop this smoking n alcohol <admin-profanity filter activated> cos it will ruin ur life. be different cos u are, read our history and what our ancestors went thru n ull be laughing at ur problmes like i did, no joke, ull be very veryyyy suprised, i definitly was.

godbless anyone who even gets to the end of this essay ive written, my apologies for its length i know ive raved on abit too much but thats just how i talk!

btw this was to whoever wrote this and the person that started this thread.

jus got a phone call from my sister and my dads in prison for beating up my mom so i really dont know what to do, since im at uni, im thinknig i dont want to go back home for xmas. A part of me wants to just break down in tears but i dont know im happy in a way, i remember when i was at home and they had a big fight i was about to commit suicide lolz but my brother reminded me that in a few months i be at uni far away from them. I really want to talk to someone but im far to upset, this is when i get peed off at God, sorry to put it so bluntly but there so much suffering i sometimes think why wasnt i born to different parents, also at uni ive had enough and ive started smoking and drinking since i jus simply had enough........

Im thinking i should just turn my back on them they are just dumb and made me suffer so much emotionally, i remember when my mom got upset that i study and she goes she hopes i fail my A levels cry_smile.gif thankfully i worked very hard and passed but i will never forget what she said, my dad also made it clear that if i dont do well in education then i might aswell be dead to him thats in his words after getting to uni i was soo happy im free im free im free, i remember at school i had a laugh with my mates but i used to suffer so much emotionally from home but i kept it locked away until recently. Man im upset, i wish i wasnt born, my lifes screwed, i know i havent been a good Sikh and i cant b bothered since i know im screwed. *tears in my eyes*

[Mutheeaa]

Nitnem(Reading Bani , Simran , Sangat (choose atleast one of them rest two will follow up! Also do them in amritvela preferably) ) is prevention which i think is missing in your house as it seems from the environment (nitnemi never go to pub) & Ardaas is cure.

However ardaas won't be effective unless you have nitnem so start it urself first and then reccommend it to rest of family members.

40 days without a naaga(miss) and with guru's grace you will see the symptoms fading away. However never stop nitnem!