Jump to content

I've Messed Up


Guest Guest
 Share

Recommended Posts

what if u got to know a person and u think they are the right one, your soul mate? then what would you do if certain things were stopping you from being together, family for example?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 28
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • 1 month later...

destiny is a funny thing ..... EVERYTHING that happens to you is preodained, now that maybe cause of your previous deeds in this life or deeds from previous lives.

the point is stop worrying about it, if it is preordained then it'll happen :) so what are you worried about !!!!!

and if it doesn't happen, dont feel sad or depressed because then thats preordained as well.

try to stay happy in whichever way waheguru keeps you. guru rakha.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i cant even bring myself to say fateh to the sangat...

i kinda got close to this girl, really close, nothing physical, but more id say mentally we got closer, we kinda built our hopes up about having a future together.

but now, i realise its wrong...really wrong, its gonna pull me away from my sikhi. in my eyes its manmat.

i've told her this, and now im worried she's gonna kinda go off the rails a bit, she's a really great person, mayb not so much into sikhi, but still she's got a good personality...and the fact she's not into sikhi shouldnt lead ppl to judge her (not that the sangat will judge her).

what do i do???

:)

help me my older sisters n brothers, iv done a poll, i forgot Vaheguru Ji...and this is whats happened...

Hey bro try not to feel guilty. No one around you is perfect. If such situations brought everyone to the point to not say fateh to the sangat, there would little fateh and little sangat. Ask some much older men/women who have the wisdom to speak the truth, rather than preach the gospel.

What you went through is simply human. If it's something you see as "manmat" then follow your conscience and steer away. Good for you for thinking. I think the term "manmat" is westernized in association with sin a bit much. We live for the GLORY of doing good, not in the FEAR of "sinning". We make mistakes and we hopefully learn.

Relationships are complex. Much respect goes to those who are principle minded and adhere to their own strict terms. Much respect also goes to those adults who wish to have completely arranged marriages. It’s truly a deeper understanding of love and humanity to decide to submit to such a thing. d_oh.gif

At the same time however, it can't be assumed that anything else is simply "manmat". The stereotypical "western", approach to relationships is extremely inadequate. However, apart from the stereotype, this approach has a very wide spectrum in itself. It should not be assumed that respectful consideration for relationship can not be had by young people on their own.

I saw the “dating” thread and some had the most extreme definitions for a term that can in itself mean opposite things. I know many committed and principled Sikhs who have met on their own. They were wise enough and mature enough (and knew when to bring the parents in or get married.) We should not make assumptions about this. Parents use to marry their children because they were 14 to 18 years old. Those getting married in their twenties now should be a bit more responsible.

Getting back to you, no guilt. Use the experience to be wiser. If you feel that you are not ready to be wiser, then consider knowing where to draw the line ahead of time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Guest

Dear Bhaji,

You're brave to admit your mistake to the sangat, as puratan Sikhs used to do. It's true that these relationships take us away from Guru Sahib, even though we initially think they will bring us closer to Guru ji, because we are told so much about "connecting" to another soul of the opposite sex. We don't realize that Gursikhs in Puratan times spent all of their pre-marriage time contemplating Gurbani while learning and working. They had full Amrit Vela and were strict in their rehat. They did not even consider dating people or liking anyone before marriage.

What's done is done, and you can't turn time back, but just try your best to learn from this experience so it doesn't happen again. Please bhaji, do Ardas to Guru Gobind Singh ji and pray that he takes you into His arms again, pour your heart out to Him and He will listen, definitely. Just stay strong and keep focussed on your goal of merging with Waheguru, not with any individual person

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i cant even bring myself to say fateh to the sangat...

i kinda got close to this girl, really close, nothing physical, but more id say mentally we got closer, we kinda built our hopes up about having a future together.

but now, i realise its wrong...really wrong, its gonna pull me away from my sikhi. in my eyes its manmat.

i've told her this, and now im worried she's gonna kinda go off the rails a bit, she's a really great person, mayb not so much into sikhi, but still she's got a good personality...and the fact she's not into sikhi shouldnt lead ppl to judge her (not that the sangat will judge her).

what do i do???

:)

help me my older sisters n brothers, iv done a poll, i forgot Vaheguru Ji...and this is whats happened...

IK ONG KAR SATGUR PARSAD!

It happens.. no one is born perfect nor can remain perfect all of one's life.. we only spend our lif time to gain perfection.

Coming to the point, what is it that has begun giving you second thoughts :

- that you got involved with a girl

- that the girl is not into sikhi

If it is the first reason, then please know that it is only natural to feel attracted towards the opposite sex. Thats how god made it and willed it to be.. provided we do not cross our limits..

If it is the second reason, then you could probably share it with that girl and make her see reason behind your second thoughts. If she agrees to embrace sikhi.. well and good.. otherwise just apologise and move on!!

------

Bhul chuk maaf karni ji!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share


  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt


  • Topics

  • Posts

    • The Mind is Jyot Saroop (Waheguru), but the mind is under the influence of five evils… Through Naam Simran( Rememberance), the mind will begin to detach from evil, and get back to its original form ( MANN TU JYOT SAROOP HEH)… Until the mind breaks free from the five evils, one will go through the cycle of paap and punn….which leads to Karma… Naam Simran destroys past karma, and prevents new karma coming into fruition… I did this, I did that… This non realisation of the Jyot Saroop gives rise to paap and Punn, which in turn gives birth to suffering and misery…
    • I agree we're not born with sin like the Christians think. Also I agree we have effects of karma. But Gurbani does state that the body contains both sin and charity (goodness): ਕਾਇਆ ਅੰਦਰਿ ਪਾਪੁ ਪੁੰਨੁ ਦੁਇ ਭਾਈ ॥ Within the body are the two brothers sin and virtue. p126 Actually, we do need to be saved. Gurbani calls this "udhaar" (uplift). Without Satguru, souls are liable to spiritual death: ਜਿਨਾ ਸਤਿਗੁਰੁ ਪੁਰਖੁ ਨ ਭੇਟਿਓ ਸੇ ਭਾਗਹੀਣ ਵਸਿ ਕਾਲ ॥ p40 Those who have not met Satguru Purakh are unfortunate and liable to death. So, yeah, we do need to be saved, and Guru ji does the saving. The reason Satguru is the one to save is because God has given Satguru the "key" (kunji): ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਹਥਿ ਕੁੰਜੀ ਹੋਰਤੁ ਦਰੁ ਖੁਲੈ ਨਾਹੀ ਗੁਰੁ ਪੂਰੈ ਭਾਗਿ ਮਿਲਾਵਣਿਆ ॥੭॥ In the True Guru's hand is the key. None else can open the door. By perfect good fortune the Guru is met. p124
    • That's unfortunate to hear. Could you give any more information? Who was this "baba"? He just disappeared with people's money? Obviously, you should donate your money to known institutions or poor people that you can verify the need of through friends and family in Punjab.
    • Sangat ji,  I know a family who went Sevewal to do seva sometimes end of 2019. They returned last year in great dismay and heart broken.  To repent for their mistakes they approached panj pyaare. The Panj gave them their punishment / order to how t make it up which, with Kirpa, they fulfilled.  They were listening to a fake Baba who, in the end, took all the "Donations " and fled sometime over a year ago. For nearly 4 years this family (who are great Gursikhs once u get to know them) wasted time and effort for this fake Baba. NOT ONLY this one fam. But many, many did worldwide and they took their fam to do seva, in village Sevewal, city Jaitho in Punjab. In the end many families lost money in thousands being behind this Baba. The family, on return, had to get in touch with all the participants and told them to stop.  I am stating this here to create awareness and we need to learn from whom we follow and believe. It's no easy but if we follow the 3 S (Sangat, Simran and Seva) we will be shown the light. As I am writing this the family in question have been doing the same since 2008 onwards and they fell for this Baba... it is unbelievable and shocking.  This am writing in a nutshell as am at work on my break so not lengthy but it deserves a great length.  Especially the family in question, who shed light on youngsters about Sikhi 20 plus years!! 
    • Giani Kulwant Singh Jawaddi Kalan uses simple Punjabi.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use