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Guest _Dreamer_

Waheguru ji ka khalsa, Waheguru ji ki fateh!

I never thought i would have this problem for myself but it seems like ive pushed away for a long time now and its come back to me.

I have never felt accepted in my life. I wouldn't say im the most ideal child that a parent would want but i dont think im the most rebelious of us all. I will give you all a litle description of myself: Im very skinny, not very smart, a joker, very opininative, etc. I have firm beliefs in quite a few things and one of them used to be body image. I remember myself telling people that despite what the world says, you are beautiful inside and out. But sitting here today i find myself questioning who i am and the path i am on.

My parents have a large tendancy to scrutinize who i am and what i am capable of doing in my life. I would say the one thing my parents pick at the most is my physical appearance. Being a girl, indian parents focus a lot on what the girl looks like from the outside. I am a very skinny girl and to some poeple, i look to skinny. Now i stress the word "look" too skinny. I have always been a really small girl with a small body. But now that im grown up or shall i say growing up they think that i look anorexic or very unhealthy. But i do eat fine and i try to stay as healthy as i can. Secondly, my face; i have a lot of acne and my teeth need braces. I constantly find my parents 'making fun' of me but they never offered to get my braces or skin help and im very tired of it.

I find myself looking for acceptance. I know guru ji is the only one to help me but I feel alone in this world and that where ever i go, people always find something that is wrong with me. Mostly due to my physical appearnce. I feel ugly and i dont enjoy looking at myself in the mirror anymore.

I once found myself preching self acceptance, now ive gone looking for it.

I feel ugly, alone, in a disastours positin in my life...

Who will accept me?

Waheguru ji ka khalsa Waheguru ji ki fateh!

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Guest Simple  Singh

im sure you look amazing, regarding the acne drink at least 2 litres of water a day (sounds easy but it isnt) and within a couple of days your acne should start to clear up.....regarding the teeth i had the same problem but i decided to take action myself (at 21) i decided to get braces i didnt want to go on the NHS as it is slow so i went privately costing £2,800 but it was worth it and now my braces are going to come off in 3 weeks. keep continuing to eat healthily and look after your self, before wanting others to accept you should start by accepting yourself first and in no time your confidence will be high. i hope this helped.

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i agree with the above post.

seriously dnt wrry abt it, i knw i cnt talk.

it happens sometimes.

bt like wht the above girl/guy wrote, jus jap naam , read gurbani an keep rehit, cuz at the end of the day, u wna be accepted by guru jee, forget caring abt wht if so n so wnt accept me an like me. cuz even if they do accept u, they aint goin to be there for you 24/7 like guru jee will be.

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fear not, come into gurujis game of love, offer him your head, and he will be your support, your everything!

and any time your in sangat you are part of your family, never forget that when u feel down or alone k?

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Guest Guru Gobind SinghJi's Beauti

Vaaheguru jee ka Khalsa

Vaaheguru jee kee Fateh!

Dear Bhainji,

You are definitely not alone! pray.gif It is sad but true that thousands of girls around the world feel the same way as you. I know so many young women that have grown up feeling insecure, ugly, never beautiful enough for society - because society has set this unreal, impractical, imaginary standard for women around the world... A standard barely any real woman can achieve, unless she completely alters her natural self !! What kind of society are we living in? Women are treated like peices of meat, we are expected to be PERFECT, we are expected to be NON HUMAN. Even in our Punjabi culture, young women usually have to be graceful, soft, perfectly "beautiful", essentially weaker than men, and obedient/subservient to all of the men around them. Well you know what?? Who the hell sets these standards for us? And who the hell are they to run our lives?

I once heard someone sing a song called "I woke up screaming F**K the world." I know in Gurmat terms, it is wrong to use such bad language. But this song really set the standards for MY life. I realized, I am a beautiful Daughter of Guru Gobind Singh ji, regardless of how these ignorant, self-absorbed, lost and hopeless worldly people think. They don't know real beauty, because they have been immersed in falsehood their whole lives. Why should we define our standards of beauty based on what some stupid person, people, or society says? As I said before, "F***K the world!" This world is so full of Maya, that not even "SINGHS" recognize the value of Singhneea anymore!!

Not even "SINGHS" realize the real beauty of Sikh women, not even "SINGHS" realize how precious, pure, priceless, beautiful and amazing we are. We need to believe in our own beauty and be confident, because if we do not believe it, then who else will? Bhainji, I don't even know you, but I already feel your beauty seeping through your words. You are beautiful. You are stunningly beautiful. And you know what? Be proud of it!! Show it off to the world!! Guru Gobind Singh ji's daughters are the most beautiful... If a corrupt, lust-obbsessed, kaami/kaljugi Society does not recognize real beauty -- what do we care? Leave this stupid world behind... They don't even know what they're missing :)

Now Bhainji, what is real beauty? Real beauty is your inner light, shining through your face, lighting up your body, your eyes, your lovely face, and radiating around you, so even moneh or non-Sikh people double take when you walk into a room. Real beauty is PURITY of the mind and body, but moreso the mind. Real beauty is your Dastar, your Rumaal, your head covering your Kirpaan your Kashera your Gatra your Kara your Kanga, all of those amazing, beautiful things that make you unique, priceless, precious, exotic.... Real beauty is NAAM and BANI. Real beauty is Saadh Sangat. Real beauty is Guru Gobind Singh ji. Real beauty is Mata Sahib Kaur, and her Daughters. These are your REAL parents. Worldly parents can also make mistakes, they were also raised in this society that demeans women everyday... Do not put faith in them. Do not let them break your strength, you are beautiful, you need to feel it in every single vein of your body, every cell, every hair... Feel the lioness coming out... Smile in the face of death, and smile in the face of anyone that tries to belittle you!!! Who do they think they are????

Embrace the beauty inside of you. Then it'll start coming out like you'll never know it could... And you truly will become beautiful, you will realize your beauty and start becoming even more beautiful than you ever knew you could be!

mÚ 3 ]

ma 3 ||

Third Mehla:

sbid rqI sohwgxI siqgur kY Bwie ipAwir ]

sabadh rathee sohaaganee sathigur kai bhaae piaar ||

The happy soul-bride is attuned to the Word of the Shabad; she is in love with the True Guru.

sdw rwvy ipru Awpxw scY pRyim ipAwir ]

sadhaa raavae pir aapanaa sachai praem piaar ||

She continually enjoys and ravishes her Beloved, with true love and affection.

Aiq suAwilau suMdrI soBwvMqI nwir ]

ath suaalio su(n)dharee sobhaava(n)thee naar ||

She is such a loveable, beautiful and noble woman.

nwnk nwim sohwgxI mylI mylxhwir ]2]

naanak naam sohaaganee maelee maelanehaar ||2||

O Nanak, through the Naam, the happy soul-bride unites with the Lord of Union. ||2||

______________________________________________________________________

nwrI AMdir sohxI msqik mxI ipAwru ]

naaree a(n)dhar sohanee masathak manee piaar ||

She is the most beautiful among women; upon her forehead she wears the Jewel of the Lord's Love.

______________________________________________________________________

I love you Bhainji even if I don't know you. You ARE BEAUTIFUL and you need to believe it!

Vaaheguru jee ka Khalsa

Vaaheguru jee kee Fateh !

P.S. Bhainji, please conact kaursunited@yahoo.com (www.KaursUnited.org) and they can probably find you another Singhnee or a couple of inspirational Sikh women who can give you practical and spiritual advice.

Dear Admins, can you please delete Akhoza's post? It's obvious that he's immature and insensitive to the real issue at hand.

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Guest $inghNeE

I saw this awesome post on a Bhenji's blog: (p.kaur)

True beauty? I think not. . .

For the past week, have noticed that have been thinking about "beauty" alot for some reason. I think it was cause I saw that short film by Dove of how they get a person in and how much they disort her to make her look "beautiful" plus also when I watched Ugly Betty...hehe!

Anyway it is INCREDIBLY sad to see that people think that beauty is when a person puts gunk on her face and is hairless etc etc. What really gets me is how so called Singhs also prefer this type of woman. At first I was like real shocked. Then I heard them talking and I was like omgosh...so many so called singhs I have heard how "buff" this girl is etc and this girl is like one who wears make-up, jewellery, and clear complexion, skinny, slick black hair tied up. I mean waaat?!

True beauty is natural. I rate those Singhnia and girls who strives to be pooran Gursikh, who doesnt give in to this digusting false illusion. Shakespeare said it once aswell u know, to all those goria - "God gave you a face and yet you paint on another" how true is this?!! Allow shakespeare for a second but Guroo Mahraaj himself says it. What is the point of adorning yourself is jewellery etc ? Where is it gonna get you? We should be adorning ourselves in Naam...

I know of countless Singhs who have girlfriends who fit the description I gave earlier...maybe Im missing something? Doesnt a Singh look for someone who is strong in their Sikhi? One could argue that looks are not everything but in Sikhi they actually go hand in hand. You can't be "all good" inside and then not show it on the outside. Vice versa, it just doesnt work like that. Don't get me wrong tho , I have some awesome friends who are getting into Sikhi and yep they are engaged to Singhs and Im happy for them, they want to move further in their Sikhi. Im talking about the ones who want to stay like a barbie.

I even heard once - actually it was 2 days ago, that so and so wants to get married and he aint fussed if she cuts her hair and this is coming from a Singh's mouth?!!! Im so disappointed that majority of singhs think like this "she hasta look like this blah blah" whatever happened to "she should want to progress with me in Sikhi etc etc? she should have a wikd personality? etc etc"

It is such a sorry state to see this. I feel sorry for people who are looking for someone with artifcial beauty because they fail to realise that TRUE BEAUTY is natural. True Beauty is not caring what society thinks. True Beauty is following Guroo Mahraaj's hukam. True beauty is not conforming to society. True Beauty is having the strength to display Guroo Mahraaj's roop.

I guess we are in Kuljug tho....

vaheguroo . . . .

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