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Guest _Dreamer_

Waheguru ji ka khalsa, Waheguru ji ki fateh!

I never thought i would have this problem for myself but it seems like ive pushed away for a long time now and its come back to me.

I have never felt accepted in my life. I wouldn't say im the most ideal child that a parent would want but i dont think im the most rebelious of us all. I will give you all a litle description of myself: Im very skinny, not very smart, a joker, very opininative, etc. I have firm beliefs in quite a few things and one of them used to be body image. I remember myself telling people that despite what the world says, you are beautiful inside and out. But sitting here today i find myself questioning who i am and the path i am on.

My parents have a large tendancy to scrutinize who i am and what i am capable of doing in my life. I would say the one thing my parents pick at the most is my physical appearance. Being a girl, indian parents focus a lot on what the girl looks like from the outside. I am a very skinny girl and to some poeple, i look to skinny. Now i stress the word "look" too skinny. I have always been a really small girl with a small body. But now that im grown up or shall i say growing up they think that i look anorexic or very unhealthy. But i do eat fine and i try to stay as healthy as i can. Secondly, my face; i have a lot of acne and my teeth need braces. I constantly find my parents 'making fun' of me but they never offered to get my braces or skin help and im very tired of it.

I find myself looking for acceptance. I know guru ji is the only one to help me but I feel alone in this world and that where ever i go, people always find something that is wrong with me. Mostly due to my physical appearnce. I feel ugly and i dont enjoy looking at myself in the mirror anymore.

I once found myself preching self acceptance, now ive gone looking for it.

I feel ugly, alone, in a disastours positin in my life...

Who will accept me?

Waheguru ji ka khalsa Waheguru ji ki fateh!

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Guest Simple  Singh

im sure you look amazing, regarding the acne drink at least 2 litres of water a day (sounds easy but it isnt) and within a couple of days your acne should start to clear up.....regarding the teeth i had the same problem but i decided to take action myself (at 21) i decided to get braces i didnt want to go on the NHS as it is slow so i went privately costing £2,800 but it was worth it and now my braces are going to come off in 3 weeks. keep continuing to eat healthily and look after your self, before wanting others to accept you should start by accepting yourself first and in no time your confidence will be high. i hope this helped.

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i agree with the above post.

seriously dnt wrry abt it, i knw i cnt talk.

it happens sometimes.

bt like wht the above girl/guy wrote, jus jap naam , read gurbani an keep rehit, cuz at the end of the day, u wna be accepted by guru jee, forget caring abt wht if so n so wnt accept me an like me. cuz even if they do accept u, they aint goin to be there for you 24/7 like guru jee will be.

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fear not, come into gurujis game of love, offer him your head, and he will be your support, your everything!

and any time your in sangat you are part of your family, never forget that when u feel down or alone k?

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Guest Guru Gobind SinghJi's Beauti

Vaaheguru jee ka Khalsa

Vaaheguru jee kee Fateh!

Dear Bhainji,

You are definitely not alone! pray.gif It is sad but true that thousands of girls around the world feel the same way as you. I know so many young women that have grown up feeling insecure, ugly, never beautiful enough for society - because society has set this unreal, impractical, imaginary standard for women around the world... A standard barely any real woman can achieve, unless she completely alters her natural self !! What kind of society are we living in? Women are treated like peices of meat, we are expected to be PERFECT, we are expected to be NON HUMAN. Even in our Punjabi culture, young women usually have to be graceful, soft, perfectly "beautiful", essentially weaker than men, and obedient/subservient to all of the men around them. Well you know what?? Who the hell sets these standards for us? And who the hell are they to run our lives?

I once heard someone sing a song called "I woke up screaming F**K the world." I know in Gurmat terms, it is wrong to use such bad language. But this song really set the standards for MY life. I realized, I am a beautiful Daughter of Guru Gobind Singh ji, regardless of how these ignorant, self-absorbed, lost and hopeless worldly people think. They don't know real beauty, because they have been immersed in falsehood their whole lives. Why should we define our standards of beauty based on what some stupid person, people, or society says? As I said before, "F***K the world!" This world is so full of Maya, that not even "SINGHS" recognize the value of Singhneea anymore!!

Not even "SINGHS" realize the real beauty of Sikh women, not even "SINGHS" realize how precious, pure, priceless, beautiful and amazing we are. We need to believe in our own beauty and be confident, because if we do not believe it, then who else will? Bhainji, I don't even know you, but I already feel your beauty seeping through your words. You are beautiful. You are stunningly beautiful. And you know what? Be proud of it!! Show it off to the world!! Guru Gobind Singh ji's daughters are the most beautiful... If a corrupt, lust-obbsessed, kaami/kaljugi Society does not recognize real beauty -- what do we care? Leave this stupid world behind... They don't even know what they're missing :)

Now Bhainji, what is real beauty? Real beauty is your inner light, shining through your face, lighting up your body, your eyes, your lovely face, and radiating around you, so even moneh or non-Sikh people double take when you walk into a room. Real beauty is PURITY of the mind and body, but moreso the mind. Real beauty is your Dastar, your Rumaal, your head covering your Kirpaan your Kashera your Gatra your Kara your Kanga, all of those amazing, beautiful things that make you unique, priceless, precious, exotic.... Real beauty is NAAM and BANI. Real beauty is Saadh Sangat. Real beauty is Guru Gobind Singh ji. Real beauty is Mata Sahib Kaur, and her Daughters. These are your REAL parents. Worldly parents can also make mistakes, they were also raised in this society that demeans women everyday... Do not put faith in them. Do not let them break your strength, you are beautiful, you need to feel it in every single vein of your body, every cell, every hair... Feel the lioness coming out... Smile in the face of death, and smile in the face of anyone that tries to belittle you!!! Who do they think they are????

Embrace the beauty inside of you. Then it'll start coming out like you'll never know it could... And you truly will become beautiful, you will realize your beauty and start becoming even more beautiful than you ever knew you could be!

mÚ 3 ]

ma 3 ||

Third Mehla:

sbid rqI sohwgxI siqgur kY Bwie ipAwir ]

sabadh rathee sohaaganee sathigur kai bhaae piaar ||

The happy soul-bride is attuned to the Word of the Shabad; she is in love with the True Guru.

sdw rwvy ipru Awpxw scY pRyim ipAwir ]

sadhaa raavae pir aapanaa sachai praem piaar ||

She continually enjoys and ravishes her Beloved, with true love and affection.

Aiq suAwilau suMdrI soBwvMqI nwir ]

ath suaalio su(n)dharee sobhaava(n)thee naar ||

She is such a loveable, beautiful and noble woman.

nwnk nwim sohwgxI mylI mylxhwir ]2]

naanak naam sohaaganee maelee maelanehaar ||2||

O Nanak, through the Naam, the happy soul-bride unites with the Lord of Union. ||2||


nwrI AMdir sohxI msqik mxI ipAwru ]

naaree a(n)dhar sohanee masathak manee piaar ||

She is the most beautiful among women; upon her forehead she wears the Jewel of the Lord's Love.


I love you Bhainji even if I don't know you. You ARE BEAUTIFUL and you need to believe it!

Vaaheguru jee ka Khalsa

Vaaheguru jee kee Fateh !

P.S. Bhainji, please conact kaursunited@yahoo.com (www.KaursUnited.org) and they can probably find you another Singhnee or a couple of inspirational Sikh women who can give you practical and spiritual advice.

Dear Admins, can you please delete Akhoza's post? It's obvious that he's immature and insensitive to the real issue at hand.

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Guest $inghNeE

I saw this awesome post on a Bhenji's blog: (p.kaur)

True beauty? I think not. . .

For the past week, have noticed that have been thinking about "beauty" alot for some reason. I think it was cause I saw that short film by Dove of how they get a person in and how much they disort her to make her look "beautiful" plus also when I watched Ugly Betty...hehe!

Anyway it is INCREDIBLY sad to see that people think that beauty is when a person puts gunk on her face and is hairless etc etc. What really gets me is how so called Singhs also prefer this type of woman. At first I was like real shocked. Then I heard them talking and I was like omgosh...so many so called singhs I have heard how "buff" this girl is etc and this girl is like one who wears make-up, jewellery, and clear complexion, skinny, slick black hair tied up. I mean waaat?!

True beauty is natural. I rate those Singhnia and girls who strives to be pooran Gursikh, who doesnt give in to this digusting false illusion. Shakespeare said it once aswell u know, to all those goria - "God gave you a face and yet you paint on another" how true is this?!! Allow shakespeare for a second but Guroo Mahraaj himself says it. What is the point of adorning yourself is jewellery etc ? Where is it gonna get you? We should be adorning ourselves in Naam...

I know of countless Singhs who have girlfriends who fit the description I gave earlier...maybe Im missing something? Doesnt a Singh look for someone who is strong in their Sikhi? One could argue that looks are not everything but in Sikhi they actually go hand in hand. You can't be "all good" inside and then not show it on the outside. Vice versa, it just doesnt work like that. Don't get me wrong tho , I have some awesome friends who are getting into Sikhi and yep they are engaged to Singhs and Im happy for them, they want to move further in their Sikhi. Im talking about the ones who want to stay like a barbie.

I even heard once - actually it was 2 days ago, that so and so wants to get married and he aint fussed if she cuts her hair and this is coming from a Singh's mouth?!!! Im so disappointed that majority of singhs think like this "she hasta look like this blah blah" whatever happened to "she should want to progress with me in Sikhi etc etc? she should have a wikd personality? etc etc"

It is such a sorry state to see this. I feel sorry for people who are looking for someone with artifcial beauty because they fail to realise that TRUE BEAUTY is natural. True Beauty is not caring what society thinks. True Beauty is following Guroo Mahraaj's hukam. True beauty is not conforming to society. True Beauty is having the strength to display Guroo Mahraaj's roop.

I guess we are in Kuljug tho....

vaheguroo . . . .

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physical health should be good its not only ques of beauti i mean its health .... u ignore it and ur dead .... if ur to skini .... visit doctor .... eat healthy food .... truely visit doctor biba .... because to fat or to skini that shows there is some thing wrong inside ur body ... it could be digestive system .... who knows which in future lead to some big problem .... so take some good advise from person in this field .... and carry on with life ... naam jaap and take amrit ....

or u also do this .... buy a batta of sarbloh and fill it with water .... and ever day do nitname of 5 bania over do ardasa to make u fat and drink it ....

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Firstly it may be useful for you to go and see your doctor - they often have people come in with problems with weight or skin problems etc and it is possible the problems may be easily treated with some medication.

With regards to skin, it may be useful to take regular intensive exercise (to the point of heavily sweating), drink lots of water and take out excessively sugary foods (junk food, fizzy drinks, etc) from the diet. Stress can also be a cause of skin problems.

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Guest _Singhni_

I totally agree with 'singhnee' and 'guru gobind singh jee's beauti'.... a lot of girls feel insecure and i hate to say it, but its mostly becos of the singhs. i mean y do girls wear make-up, jewellery, tight clothes?? its 2 attract the opposite genders attention and whoever says it cos ' they wanna feel gud bout themselves', well thats all rubbish! if the singhs stop expecting a girl thats 'pretty' and worry bout her spiritual jeevan, sumthin that actually counts then i think a lot of girls wuld stop tryin 2 impress them and concentrate on whats important! i no hardly any singhs who truely would not care what a girl looked like, u think sum r religious and then u hear them say stuff or so and so tells u that he was sayin that he'd only marry this kind of 'pretty' girl (usually the ones that wear make-up, dishonour their hair and dress in an inappropriate way).... its sickening and shows u how far into kaljug we r.

to the penji who created this post... someone in their post said, jap nam, read bani and keep rehat... i totally agree. the only way ull ever sense true happiness and be totally content with urself is if u do these things. no1 in this world (not even ur parents) can make u feel worthy, cos its false! u dont want 2 feel worthy by then, u shud want to feel worhty 4 guru jee and the only way thats gonna happen is by doin the above three things. trust me, once u get onto the path of sikhi and u realise that ur guru gobind singh jees daugher.. no matter what any1 says 2 u, they cant take thataway from u and thats sumthin 2 be proud of! guru gobind singh jees daughters are beautiful in everyway and guru jee ALWAYS looks after them :)

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i've talked to a number of girls as to why they wear makeup and jewellery...

and none of them have ever said it was for the guys....it's what they like to do...

i'm not saying there are no girls who do it for the guys...but to say the opposite statement for every girl that wears makeup is just as wrong...

also...i still have yet to see where guru ji has said makeup OR jewellery is against gurmat...

yes...guru ji does question people that are stuck in makeup and jewellery and why they dont remember akal purkh...ie..do simran, seva, sangat...

he says of what use is all this...but then we should also remember that guru ji says that about a lot of things...the message of gurbani is EVERYTHING we see is binsanhaaar....it will all go one day...SIMRAN is the ONLY thing that Remains...remember Akhaaa jeevaan, visraay mar jaaoo....those who live in remembrance live, all others are dead...

but none of us are willing to say that our families are agisnt gurmat, going to school is against gurmat, wearing nice clothes is against gurmat, wearing nice shoes, cleaning our bodies...all the daily things that we all do....is against gurmat... i don't understand then why is it that makeup and jewellery are attacked....

i'm not someone that encourages anyone to wear makeup...to me, the preoccupation of wearing makeup and the preoccupation that many singhs these days have with how nice they can make their dumalla, what design kirpan looks the best, whether their chola has rounded corners or straight corners....both are TWO sides of the same coin....and the coin is of the PHYSICAL PLANE....

Our guru's bani is that of the spiritual plane...lets not limit it with our intellect, but reflect on it with our intuition...

to the bhenji who said...that you can't be all good on the inside and not show it on the outside....you TOO are stuck in physical..and you have made that statement from a sort of ethnocentric place...cuz to you...a good person doesn't wear makeup, looks a certain way...how can you say such things while being a sikh of guru...

someone who wears the panj kakkaars...says nothing about whether or not they are a good person...all it signifies is that this is a person who may be walking the guru's path...that person like any other person may be a nice person or not a very nice person...

as sikhs of our guru sahib, we should recognize that the jot of akal purkh is in everyone...where someone is in their spiritual path should not be our business...you should see them as a child of god, and a brother/sister that has crossed paths in our soul journey...

with all you people judging those girls with makeup on...no wonder they don't want to come into sikhi or do sangat with you people...i myself have endured instances of being judged and i don't do sangat with those same people anymore....just because i don't wear a chola, or a big kirpan on top of my clothes, or that i tie my dari...

i remember on the first day of second year at U of T...as i was leaving the lecture hall...i saw a singhni of guru sahib, she was dressed in a bana with a keski...i remember being all excited and stopped to say fateh, and she didn't even reply with a fateh...just kinda nodded her head...the girl beside...her wasn't in any bana...smiled and said "waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh"...

now you tell me as a human being...what would you make of that?

again i'm not saying one is better than the other...i'm just saying we can't always know the inner condition of someone's soul, simply by what we see on the exterior...

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