Marriage

[Guest _Ksingh_]

Ok, so when finding your soul partner...

1) For the people on here married, how did you know?

2)For anyone - do you follow your mind or heart? In other words, do you see whether they have the right degree, job etc or do you have a feeling about them? Look below for further elaboration.

3) If it's feeling? describe.

What if the girl/guy did not have any of the material things you wanted (good job, degree, looks etc), but you felt some sort of feeling towards him VS The girl/guy has everything you want , but you had no feeling about him. What would you chose??

KSingh

[Guest **]

do not get married just over material things, when you both grow old it is very unlikely you two will be attractive, so if u can feel something for someone in this form then that is wen u feel something for the RIGHT REASONS. In other words, it is true...if u just marry based on someones material assets alone, what will you do when you have challenges in the marriage? what will you have to fall back on? your feelings for them? NO b/c they arent there...at that point would the degree, looks etc bring you back?

besides, it is not fair for that person to be used just b/c of the fact that they have some good material assets, thats wrong..

go with your heart, we're talking about YOU and the PERSON not what other ppl think in terms of material things, if one is more compatible it is obvious that they are the right one for you...as long as you arent blinded and make sure they have atleast a decent job and dont rely on you for everything, etc LOL

You would be a very lcuky person to find someone with the material AND give you that feeling..but gems are rare and when u really feel something that person can out do any gem anytime and you feel for them with all of the positives and negatives they come to you with.

[millitant_kaur]

say if there is somebody that you like, n u REALLY feel that they are the 1?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! but then ur parent(s) dont agree with it???? they then introduce you to somebody and they felt he woz more 'appropriate' as hes gota fancy gaddi o a well paid job or something like that??? (this happend 2 a Penji of mine btw!) but ye, wot wud you do then??? because youve found the 1, but marrying that person will displease your parents, so wa do ya do?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

[Guest Papi]

what makes you so sure that the one you've found is the one ????? mind is a very very tricky thing.

even the oldest and wisest people get thrown to a 100 different directions by their mind, someone in the mid 20's will be as well.....

bottom line is ask guruji, that is the ONLY solution

[heart]

Most people would dissagree with me on what I am about to say. Do you want to grow up and have a healthy relationship with your spouse? Most people would say yes. Love is a strong thing which is true can play very tricky games on one's mind. However, at the same time, as a marriage-seeker you should be looking at all aspects of the other person. First of all, I would say do not get married to someone because they are rich and have a good job and you would feel financially secure. Marriage is about become the embodiment of one soul on a path of spirtuality. Have feelings for that person but also understand that you both can support eachother in the future and a family.

I am not married nor will I be getting married in the near future but what I have heard from people I know who just recently got married was that it is just a feeling in your soul. You just know that, that is the person you are meant to get married too.

Bhainjee/Veerjee, Just follow your heart and Do Ardaas =))

Forgive me If I have offended anyone here.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

[Guest Papi]

^^ what if, the other person doesn't feel that way. happend a bit too close for comfort to me. it is not as easy as we kids make it sound

[Khalsa4ever]

Waheguroo jee ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo jee kee Fateh!

To me, the point of a marriage isn't just to find someone to have kids with, if that were the only goal, then your parents choosing someone from a lineup would work. The problem is that MOST of the time, your parents DON'T feel the same way about many issues than you do.

I've seen it happen many times where parents are not into sikhi, and so they try and pick out people who have money, education, etc. for their (usually daughter), when the girl is trying so so hard to involve herself in a sikh lifestyle. The reverse is also true.

Basically, as stupid as this sounds, you have to follow your heart and your brain a bit. Your heart: Do you get along with this person? Do they understand your issues? Are they helpful to you? Your Brain: Do they share the same goals as you? Same beliefs? Same ideals?

Unless all the things above match, its a good chance the marriage may not work out. Note I didn't say "education" or "good looks" or "money". Those sorts of things will be what your parents will look for, but in all reality, will have NO impact on how happy the couple will be together.

Waheguroo jee ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo jee kee Fateh!

[Thug Life]

ok welll who would you choose

somone whos into sikhi and does not have a very good job

or

someone who is into sikhi but is richh and has a good job???

i no which 1 i would choose lol

[heart]

^^ what if, the other person doesn't feel that way. happend a bit too close for comfort to me. it is not as easy as we kids make it sound

Well Veerjee, usually in the case of marriage we are just talking about how do you find a spouse? Do you base it on feelings or materialistic ideals?

[Guest Papi]

ah ok. i'm too immature to answer that.

personally, i woudln't base it on either of those. feelings have played with me too much i dont trust them anymore and material things aren't important in life.