Depression... Does Depression Exist In Sikhi?

[Guest Guest]

Women are too often and too easily psychiatrized and given pills to fix things that could and should be otherwise addressed. You don't need pills to "fix" this, although there's nothing wrong with seeking advice from a doctor and going that route. Psychiatrists and medical professionals aren't the be-all and end-all though, and pills aren't the only treatment. You don't want to mask what you're feeling with pills that numb out your emotions, but if you do choose that option, then please make sure you're fully aware of all side-effects.

Besides traditional, mainstream medical models of treatment, there are other options you could explore. You could start with something as simple as counselling around grief and postpartum depression, accessed free-of-charge from community-based organizations in your area (women's counselling agencies, for example), and they could further refer you to better resources addressing your specific needs.

If you're in the Toronto area, I'd recommend "Women's Health in Women's Hands". If you're outside Toronto, you can call/email them and ask for referrals to agencies with similar ideologies (minus their pro-choice agenda) :umm:

All that having been said, sticking with paath, simran and sangat is the ultimate healing mechanism, so keep it up.

[Guest Guest]

Dear Sangat,

I have been struggling with a similar feeling of despair. I am so comforted to hear you all speak so positively. During my darker moments I find that doing simran and paath have been particularily helpful. I was wondering if anyone knew of any particularily positive/uplifiting shabads that they could recommend I listen to. I'll be honest, my punjabi is a little weak, so I find it difficult to understand some shabads. I'd appreciate any insight you may have.

Waheguru

[Guest Guest]

I have come across this before, its specifically called post natal depression. You are not alone, it is very common, try this website for more information: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-partum_depression. Research it a bit on google.com so you understand it a bit more and ask the doctor for some help and say that you do not want medication. I am sure they can help.

But seriously bhenji, you are not alone, this is very common. It is very very common to want to harm your baby, this does not mean you are a bad mother for thinking this, this is completely normal when you have post natal depression. But it is worth getting help early for your own sanity. It is probably a good idea to ask the doctor for a leaflet on it so that you can give it to your husband and the rest of the family so they understand. When you have people around you that understand and that the thoughts you have are normal in this kind of depression it will provide you a safe environment to be able to help yourself feel better. Please do not feel like you are a bad mother, you are not, you are a good mother to be asking for help and talking to sangat about it. Keep on japping naam, meditate, it will help.

I hope you feel better soon and everything works out.

[JustME]

Dear Sangat,

I have been struggling with a similar feeling of despair. I am so comforted to hear you all speak so positively. During my darker moments I find that doing simran and paath have been particularily helpful. I was wondering if anyone knew of any particularily positive/uplifiting shabads that they could recommend I listen to. I'll be honest, my punjabi is a little weak, so I find it difficult to understand some shabads. I'd appreciate any insight you may have.

Waheguru

i find Bhai Joginder Singh Riaar's Aukhi Kareh Nah Dekhn DeHe totally uplifting.............His New album is Called Vich Agnee Aap Jalaee, its realy good, i wish i cud upload it but the file is too big ......................if you give me ur e-mail address i can mail it to you (in confidence)

JustME

xx

[Saahiba]

OK, I'm a mum to a beautiful 5 month little boy!! I lost a baby who died at birth, the year before i had him. 2 months after my daughter passed, I realised I was expecting again.. so i don't know if i had time to grieve, or even if i grieved the 'right' way!! Now, I'm totally and madly in love with my son,but....... i've suddenly started to get depressed about my little girl.. the feelings of wanting her back, questiong god, why her... I sit flooding myself in tears, i have even had thoughts, evil thoughts of harming my son.. but seconds later i hold him close to me and say sorry! I hate myself for feeling like this.. am in tears typing this!! My hubby is very supportive, but he refuses to believe i am depressed, and says i am a fantastic mummy! My mum too says this, although i have not addmitted the evil thoughts to her, she tells me to do simran, which i do... My best friend on the other hand says i should get to the doctors and take prozak (anti depression pills)! I don't want to go down that road.. Please.. i'm pleading with god to stop me, help me.. i dont take tablets unless i have the worst pain.. please someone tell me.. will simran help.. i am not extrmely religious, as in i have broken some rules but.. i do my japji saab parth everyday, i go to the gudwara. I believe in god more than anything... I know this is something i should decide, but surely someone out there (one of you) will guide me to the right step, plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! Thank u!

Dear mum,

The depressions that you are facing is nothing new.. though I have not been blessed with a kid, but i have seen my near and dear ladies go through what the doctors term as *post natal depressions*.

There is a reason behind everything and the main reason is that the lord wants us to be happy and we would not know happiness unless we have been through sorrows..

I myself have had 8 miscarriages and every miscarriage saw me break down emotionally. Now by HIS kirpa, I have overcome my depressions and have learnt that GOD'S WILL HATH NO WHY..

Phenji, i once again request you to count your blessings and try and forget the rest.. may the lord keep your baby boy in HIS rakh!

Bhul chuk maaf karni ji!

[JustME]

Dear mum,

The depressions that you are facing is nothing new.. though I have not been blessed with a kid, but i have seen my near and dear ladies go through what the doctors term as *post natal depressions*.

There is a reason behind everything and the main reason is that the lord wants us to be happy and we would not know happiness unless we have been through sorrows..

I myself have had 8 miscarriages and every miscarriage saw me break down emotionally. Now by HIS kirpa, I have overcome my depressions and have learnt that GOD'S WILL HATH NO WHY..

Phenji, i once again request you to count your blessings and try and forget the rest.. may the lord keep your baby boy in HIS rakh!

Bhul chuk maaf karni ji!

"dukh vich sukh manaaee" i agree with phenjee that we only find true happiness through sorrow................the way i like to think of it is............"okay im unhappy, but there is someone out there who has probably faced more sorrow than me and if they can cope so can i"

with the asian society we are bound to age-old traditions of not talking about our problems and find we cannot gain the support and understandig we seek from those around us who are our nearest and dearest..................thats where God comes in...........He is our own and he feels our pain with us and ONLY HE can give us the strengh to get through our difficult times..................we a man is helpless, even by protesting he does not believe in God will, in his darkest hours call out for Him to ease our suffering............that alone proves to me anyway that God does infact reside in us..................and we loo back our our hardest times and draw strength from the fact and it was only God who helped us through it and therefore brings us closer to him

sorry if im rambling buti pray you find God and He may ease this suffering.

bhul chuck maaf

JustME

xx

[raju123]

Dear Sangat,

maybe we all could do path for her..

[Guest Akirtghan]

gauVI mhlw 5 mWJ ]

gourree mehalaa 5 maa(n)jh ||

Gauree, Fifth Mehla, Maajh:

duK BMjnu qyrw nwmu jI duK BMjnu qyrw nwmu ]

dhukh bha(n)jan thaeraa naam jee dhukh bha(n)jan thaeraa naam ||

The Destroyer of sorrow is Your Name, Lord; the Destroyer of sorrow is Your Name (but when? answer is in next tuk).

AwT phr AwrwDIAY pUrn siqgur igAwnu ]1] rhwau ]

aat(h) pehar aaraadhheeai pooran sathigur giaan ||1|| rehaao ||

(when) Twenty-four hours a day, (we) dwell upon the wisdom of the Perfect True Guru. ||1||Pause||

ijqu Git vsY pwrbRhmu soeI suhwvw Qwau ]

jith ghatt vasai paarabreham soee suhaavaa thhaao ||

That heart, in which the Supreme Lord God abides, is the most beautiful place.

jm kMkru nyiV n AwveI rsnw hir gux gwau ]1]

jam ka(n)kar naerr n aavee rasanaa har gun gaao ||1||

The Messenger of Death does not even approach those who chant the Glorious Praises of the Lord with the tongue. ||1||

syvw suriq n jwxIAw nw jwpY AwrwiD ]

saevaa surath n jaaneeaa naa jaapai aaraadhh ||

I have not understood the wisdom of serving Him, nor have I worshipped Him in meditation.

Et qyrI jgjIvnw myry Twkur Agm AgwiD ]2]

outt thaeree jagajeevanaa maerae t(h)aakur agam agaadhh ||2||

You are my Support, O Life of the World; O my Lord and Master, Inaccessible and Incomprehensible. ||2||

Bey ik®pwl gusweIAw nTy sog sMqwp ]

bheae kirapaal gusaaeeaa nat(h)ae sog sa(n)thaap ||

When the Lord of the Universe became merciful, sorrow and suffering departed.

qqI vwau n lgeI siqguir rKy Awip ]3]

thathee vaao n lagee sathigur rakhae aap ||3||

The hot winds do not even touch those who are protected by the True Guru. ||3||

guru nwrwiexu dXu guru guru scw isrjxhwru ]

gur naaraaein dhay gur gur sachaa sirajanehaar ||

The Guru is the All-pervading Lord, the Guru is the Merciful Master; the Guru is the True Creator Lord.

guir quTY sB ikCu pwieAw jn nwnk sd bilhwr ]4]2]170]

gur thut(h)ai sabh kishh paaeiaa jan naanak sadh balihaar ||4||2||170||

When the Guru was totally satisfied, I obtained everything. Servant Nanak is forever a sacrifice to Him. ||4||2||170||

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soriT mhlw 5 ]

sorat(h) mehalaa 5 ||

Sorat'h, Fifth Mehla:

ismir ismir guru siqguru Apnw sglw dUKu imtwieAw ]

simar simar gur sathigur apanaa sagalaa dhookh mittaaeiaa ||

Meditating, meditating in remembrance on my Guru, the True Guru, all pains have been eradicated.

qwp rog gey gur bcnI mn ieCy Pl pwieAw ]1]

thaap rog geae gur bachanee man eishhae fal paaeiaa ||1||

The fever and the disease are gone, through the Word of the Guru's Teachings, and I have obtained the fruits of my mind's desires. ||1||

myrw guru pUrw suKdwqw ]

maeraa gur pooraa sukhadhaathaa ||

My Perfect Guru is the Giver of peace.

krx kwrx smrQ suAwmI pUrn purKu ibDwqw ] rhwau ]

karan kaaran samarathh suaamee pooran purakh bidhhaathaa || rehaao ||

He is the Doer, the Cause of causes, the Almighty Lord and Master, the Perfect Primal Lord, the Architect of Destiny. ||Pause||

Anµd ibnod mMgl gux gwvhu gur nwnk Bey dieAwlw ]

ana(n)dh binodh ma(n)gal gun gaavahu gur naanak bheae dhaeiaalaa ||

Sing the Glorious Praises of the Lord in bliss, joy and ecstasy; Guru Nanak has become kind and compassionate.

jY jY kwr Bey jg BIqir hoAw pwrbRhmu rKvwlw ]2]15]43]

jai jai kaar bheae jag bheethar hoaa paarabreham rakhavaalaa ||2||15||43||

Shouts of cheers and congratulations ring out all over the world; the Supreme Lord God has become my Savior and Protector. ||2||15||43||

[Guest Your Brother]

Dear Phen Jee,

Depression does exsist and can be mentally very challenging on the way you live your life.

I went through depression for a small while early this year due to personal problems.

I did goto a Dr and counsellr and it did help, so please try this path first. There is no stigma in doing this. In the puratan times Intelligent Gursikhs used to be the counsellors and help everyone who used to come to them. A counsellor will basically listen most of the time and then interject in the discussion with ways to overcome your feelings. I personally went to a counsellor because it was good to talk to speak to someone not in your immediate circle and who dosen't know you. You can tell them things and get things off your chest which you wouldn't with freinds and family.

After this, I spent time doing seva wherever I could, going to the Gurdwara in the day and just sitting in the empty divaan hall, llstening to Keertan on my ipod or doing naam simran, mool mantar jaap or shabad jaap. I think reading Dukh Bhajani Sahib Shabads are truly inspirational and they do help. I then started trying to learn bani off by heart and the time you spend doing this you havent got the time to think about anything else.

Also try and listen to Keertan in which the shabads will make you happy and also sad. You have to get the negative feelings out so a good crying session is healthy, because you are not keeping these feelings inside.

Try and tell freinds what your going through. The best freinds will not badger you about your situation all the time but will ask about you and that will help you loads as they know your going through a rough time but will look out for you. Most of the time they will try and keep company with you.

But the best thing of all is reading Sikh History for me, might not be for everyone but it worked for me. To understand and feel for what the Mighty Gursikhs of the past went through for Sikhi will make our problems seem very little. We think our problems are huge as they consume most amount of time in our life. However to read about the brave Singhs and Singhnia who went through the most horrendous tortures and sufferings to realise they still continued or became shaheed in their love for Sikhi can help loads.

Stay in Chardi Kala evryone read bani, listen to keertan, read history, undertand and do veechar of bani, keep Sangat of gursikhs and true friends, and if you are depressed go and see your Dr and a Counsellor.

Bhul Chuk Marf Karna

Brother

[TuhiNirankar]

myrw bYdu gurU goivMdw ]

maeraa baidh guroo govi(n)dhaa ||

My physician is the Guru, the Lord of the Universe.

I was planning on getting a counceller just a few months ago because i felt so depressed (I dont know if i was actually in depression because i havent gone to a doctor) But then my mom told me that God's the true counceller. I went with her advice and started doing more paat and its like God took all my problems away. I was crying on the way to gurdwara one day and then when i got to gurdwara i just went did my ardas before I matha teaked and i just said everything on my mind and it was difficult cuz my mind couldnt find the words to express my feelings. I mainly said please take this pain away from me , i dont want to remeber what has happened. After that its like i never rembered what i was feeling depressed about.

I wanted to go to counceller because i thought it would help take my pain and depression away but i believe its a good thing i didnt end up going because this dukh (pain) that i recieved turned into daroo. (from rehraas saheb)

dhukh dhaaroo sukh rog bhaeiaa jaa sukh thaam n hoee ||

Suffering is the medicine, and pleasure the disease, because where there is pleasure, there is no desire for God.

If i had never recieved any pain from my family and friends i would have never turned to God. I didn't believe in God but when your at your lowest and God helps you then you realize he has always been there as your support and you just have never appreciated or noticed.

I hope this post has been relevant to your topic.