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Confused I Guess.


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hi

well...recently or a year ago..i have took amrit with the grace of god. Before i took amrit, i was in a relationship, with this girl, and because i wanted to take amrit, we broke up, since i wanted to follow this path, i wudn't think it wud be right to have a relationship...but now a year later...and me and her have stopped talking...but like once in a rare while we'll just say hey how are you thing.

Now my problem is....from what my friend's have told me..is that she is becoming ...

"promiscious" ..and not like i want to brag or anything...but when i asked her out a couple of years ago..i already knew about her past relationships and what not...but did not bother me...and during our duration of our relationship...luckily i was able to convince her to stop eating meat/alcohol/weed...the things that we all did..but then when i became more excited about my spirtual side, i was able to stop these things..and was able to convince her aswell....then as a result took amrit

now she is getting lured in to her past behaviour..in which is dissapointing me even though i have stopped talking to her..and somehow maybe even "jeolousy" i rno if that is really the word to use...

but 2 weeks ago i started to talk to her again..just saying hello..and led to me asking her if she wants to accompany me to our school PRom as friends even tho, now i do not look at her in a "sexual" manner, but rather as friends and as guru sahib says to look at women as your own...in which i am currently still working on in my mind.

annd she said yea for prom.

then as these 2 weeks went by..a lot of problems occured...one of them was my brother who has a deep hatred towards her because he refers to her as a "s.l.u.t" and other words but he doesnt understand that i do not look at women and categorize them any more due to God's grace i am able to see other females as not objects in which he does...he is not amrtidhari in any way...a complete opposite

anyhow...he finds it to be a major insult to him..if she accompanies me to prom..due to their sitaution...anyhow...being that it is my brother, i have agreed...and ttold this girl that..just Forget about me...and surpsingly her reply was.. Ok?done...a complete shock...but now as i think about it...maybe guru sahib doesn't want me to be affiliated with her...so he has caused these "problems" ....

but my question is...how come i feel sad, like dissapointed....i wish i cud help her out once again, and do not want her to back to the old lifestyle...of partying and w.e....but now rno..and at the same time my brother is mad at me for even talking to her again..cuz of his hatred....but irno ...any suggestions??

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Guest random_singhni

I understand you want to help your ex-girlfriend (right?) just start talkin to her on msn or whatever keep contact with her and get her in to sikhi, i mean like tell her things like if shes having a hard time in her life to do paat. I guess you just want to help her but if shes not wiling to change thens stay away not get too close to her you dont want to get attaches or develop feelings for her. Talk to her if you are positive you are doing it for the right reasons

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Vaheguru ji ka khalsa Vaheguru ji ki fateh,

It wasnt just a coincidence that you stopped talking to her, guru ji obviously did it for a reason. You are being faced with cross roads, make sure you choose wisely. We want to help people that we care about that sometimes as a results we ourselves drown instead. Dont make the same mistake I have done in the past, if she comes to for help then do not refuse her but I think you should keep your distance because talking to ex-relationship people from your past life (before amrit) is a very TRICKY game to play. You have to remember your path that your walking, there isnt room for you to share your love and attention. I know you want her to get clean and into sikhi but DO ARDAS instead, that will help both her and keep you safe from slipping up. Also not everyone has it in their kismat to come into sikhi unfortunately.

Take care

Vaheguru ji ka khalsa Vaheguru ji ki fateh

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Vaheguru ji ka khalsa Vaheguru ji ki fateh,

It wasnt just a coincidence that you stopped talking to her, guru ji obviously did it for a reason. You are being faced with cross roads, make sure you choose wisely. We want to help people that we care about that sometimes as a results we ourselves drown instead. Dont make the same mistake I have done in the past, if she comes to for help then do not refuse her but I think you should keep your distance because talking to ex-relationship people from your past life (before amrit) is a very TRICKY game to play. You have to remember your path that your walking, there isnt room for you to share your love and attention. I know you want her to get clean and into sikhi but DO ARDAS instead, that will help both her and keep you safe from slipping up. Also not everyone has it in their kismat to come into sikhi unfortunately.

Take care

Vaheguru ji ka khalsa Vaheguru ji ki fateh

:TH:

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Agree with the above posts. As was said, you are on crossroads, but the decision is yours. Whatever is in her fate will happen, maybe she will find guru sahib through other means if it is written in her destiny. Since you have just gotten into Sikhi and took amrit its best to work on your naam/bani/rehat/seva instead of worrying about her, because guru sahib tells us not to, and just trust him. Since you've just taken amrit you shouldn't go back or try to go back to what you had before because your mind is not solidified in Sikhi, and it will waver, only through naam/bani can you make your mind more pakka, so concentrate on whats important, rest let Guru Sahib deal with himself.

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anyhow...he finds it to be a major insult to him..if she accompanies me to prom..due to their sitaution...anyhow...being that it is my brother, i have agreed...and ttold this girl that..just Forget about me...and surpsingly her reply was.. Ok?done...a complete shock...but now as i think about it...maybe guru sahib doesn't want me to be affiliated with her...so he has caused these "problems" ....

So you had the feeling that she won't forget you tongue.gif

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Guest Papi

you want to help her !!! who are you to help her? what capability you have to help anyone? try to let go of your pride, of your attachment to her. there is nothing you have ever done, nothing you can do now, nothing you will ever be able to do.

kbIr JMKu n JMKIAY qumro kihE n hoie ]

kabeer jha(n)kh n jha(n)kheeai thumaro kehiou n hoe ||

Kabeer, do not struggle in stubborn pride; nothing happens just because you say so.

krm krIm ju kir rhy myit n swkY koie ]32]

karam kareem j kar rehae maett n saakai koe ||32||

No one can erase the actions of the Merciful Lord. ||32||

==================================================

isrIrwgu mhlw 3 ]

sireeraag mehalaa 3 ||

Siree Raag, Third Mehla:

gurmuiK ik®pw kry Bgiq kIjY ibnu gur Bgiq n hoeI ]

guramukh kirapaa karae bhagath keejai bin gur bhagath n hoee ||

By His Grace one becomes Gurmukh, worshipping the Lord with devotion. Without the Guru there is no devotional worship.

AwpY Awpu imlwey bUJY qw inrmlu hovY soeI ]

aapai aap milaaeae boojhai thaa niramal hovai soee ||

Those whom He unites with Himself, understand and become pure.

hir jIau swcw swcI bwxI sbid imlwvw hoeI ]1]

har jeeo saachaa saachee baanee sabadh milaavaa hoee ||1||

The Dear Lord is True, and True is the Word of His Bani. Through the Shabad, we merge with Him. ||1||

BweI ry BgiqhIxu kwhy jig AwieAw ]

bhaaee rae bhagathiheen kaahae jag aaeiaa ||

O Siblings of Destiny: those who lack devotion-why have they even bothered to come into the world?

pUry gur kI syv n kInI ibrQw jnmu gvwieAw ]1] rhwau ]

poorae gur kee saev n keenee birathhaa janam gavaaeiaa ||1|| rehaao ||

They do not serve the Perfect Guru; they waste away their lives in vain. ||1||Pause||

Awpy jgjIvnu suKdwqw Awpy bKis imlwey ]

aapae jagajeevan sukhadhaathaa aapae bakhas milaaeae ||

The Lord Himself, the Life of the World, is the Giver of Peace. He Himself forgives, and unites with Himself.

jIA jMq ey ikAw vycwry ikAw ko AwiK suxwey ]

jeea ja(n)th eae kiaa vaechaarae kiaa ko aakh sunaaeae ||

So what about all these poor beings and creatures? What can anyone say?

gurmuiK Awpy dyie vfweI Awpy syv krwey ]2]

guramukh aapae dhaee vaddaaee aapae saev karaaeae ||2||

He Himself blesses the Gurmukh with glory. He Himself enjoins us to His Service. ||2||

dyiK kutMbu moih loBwxw clidAw nwil n jweI ]

dhaekh kutta(n)b mohi lobhaanaa chaladhiaa naal n jaaee ||

Gazing upon their families, people are lured and trapped by emotional attachment, but none will go along with them in the end.

sqguru syiv gux inDwnu pwieAw iqs dI kIm n pweI ]

sathagur saev gun nidhhaan paaeiaa this dhee keem n paaee ||

Serving the True Guru, one finds the Lord, the Treasure of Excellence. His Value cannot be estimated.

hir pRBu sKw mIqu pRBu myrw AMqy hoie sKweI ]3]

har prabh sakhaa meeth prabh maeraa a(n)thae hoe sakhaaee ||3||

The Lord God is my Friend and Companion. God shall be my Helper and Support in the end. ||3||

AwpxY min iciq khY khwey ibnu gur Awpu n jweI ]

aapanai man chith kehai kehaaeae bin gur aap n jaaee ||

Within your conscious mind, you may say anything, but without the Guru, selfishness is not removed.

hir jIau dwqw Bgiq vClu hY kir ikrpw mMin vsweI ]

har jeeo dhaathaa bhagath vashhal hai kar kirapaa ma(n)n vasaaee ||

The Dear Lord is the Giver, the Lover of His devotees. By His Grace, He comes to dwell in the mind.

nwnk soBw suriq dyie pRBu Awpy gurmuiK dy vifAweI ]4]15]48]

naanak sobhaa surath dhaee prabh aapae guramukh dhae vaddiaaee ||4||15||48||

O Nanak, by His Grace, He bestows enlightened awareness; God Himself blesses the Gurmukh with glorious greatness. ||4||15||48||

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