Love Sex Marriage

[Guest sorrows]

well basicly cut a lnog story short i used to not be in sikhi infact didnt give a damn about religion and at that time i had a gf we were to gether loved each other etc... had sex before mariage

then i changed and got into sikhi and have taken amrit through mahrajs kirpa

the girl however still wants to be with me which obv cant happen obvious reasons .. the girl has started to think low of herself that she slept wid someone and cant be with them and get married to them

so now i am in a position were i'm into sikhi and obviously dont want to get married to a non amritdhari and on the otehr hand a girl that still loves me

i would like some advice on how i can handle the situation maybe?

thank you in advance

[Guest _Anon_]

do you still Love her?

[jss]

dude...you can't just go and have a relationship with someone, sleep with her, and then claim to have found sikhi and dump and use the fact that she's not amritdhari as an excuse!!!

guru sahib will never be happy with such a justification and cowardness.

I don't know anything about the girl or you..but if she's not the type to sleep around and she slept with you, that means she probably had deep feelings for you and vice versa. Just because you found sikhi doesn't mean you simply dump her. It means that now you must carry yourself in a dignified way. Meaning if you still have feelings and want to get married, then you should take the proper steps in that direction with dignity and honour.

Talk to her...see what her goals are in life...maybe she too might find sikhi inspiring and want to make steps towards it. Not everyone is going to be amritdhari right away, some take longer than others.

If she has totally diferent goals in life and doesn't want to be in your lifestyle, then that would be a mutual parting of ways.

but if she's willing to make changes, then you need to be man enough to stick by and be that helping hand. If you think you can't marry a non amritdhari, then wait it out...give her time...not a time limit....and take her to sangat...introduce her to amritdhari girls her age she can have sangat with...she'll progress....

[Guest Papi]

feelings nothing goes right when they are involved.

you need to talk to some older experienced people about this, not a bunch of kids on a forum.

[Guest Guest]

lol, completely agree with papi

[Singh132]

When you receive amrit, your old life is dead and your new life has begun as a Singh. Your commitment is to Sikhi and Guru Sahib now.

That having been said, in the spirit of sarbat da bhalla, if you can help this person come to Sikhi without ruining your own spiritual life, it would be a good thing. This is however like playing with fire. The potential is there for you to ruin your jeevan.

My advice is to speak with an older Gursikh and get advice and take all steps under his/her guidance. Moh/attachment is a strong feeling that might draw you back to your old life and old relationship which would be inappropriate as a Sikh.

If you feel this person has no chance of wanting to come to Sikhi then the perhaps it's best to move on.

Whatever you do though, be careful. Too many young amritdharis have lost their jeevan in such situations.

[Guest Guest]

yo if ya luv da gurl n she luvs u, den der should be no problem

y u worried?

if she aint into bein a gursikh like u, den she dun luv u.

none da less, she should respect u and if she luvs u, she should follow along with u

and if maybe she dun "luv" u now cuz of ur new look, den she dun "luv" u.. she luv"ed" ur old look.

peace

[Khalsa_Girl_1]

if she really loves you, she'll become amrit-dhari.

if she dont really love you, then you'll see it...

just my opinion

[jss]

i disagree with "khalsa" girl...

if you take amrit cuz you love 'somebody' then that's a gross misunderstanding of the institution of khanday battay da amrit...

if people don't understand the basic principle and premise of taking amrit..they should refrain from giving themselves names that have the word khalsa in it.

i also disagree with the extent of this "new life" argument that people use...

yes...when you take amrit...you have a new life in the way you CONDUCT yourself...

you conduct yourself in a way that shows the greatness of your father, dashmesh pita...

i personally don't think it's cool for a guy to sleep with a girl, then find sikhi and dump her cuz he's not amritdhari...that girl will have a tough time when it comes to marriage and whatnot and i don't see how that can be seen as an honourable thing for a singh to do.

[kaur_khalistani_lioness]

i have to agree with jss!

we take the meaning the "new life" so literal. think deeper about things before doing things or saying stuff.

like humble (papi) singh and singh132 said talk to older people who are jeevan walye singhs and kaurs. they have seen life from a place that we hav yet to experience. they will be able to help u more thn some of us here. see if there an amritsarchar soon, or singh/kaur's whom u can sit and get advice from. i dont think u only go to amritsanchars to take amrit or get pesh...u can also go to get a direction in life. its a matter of another soul and a moral obligation on ur part.

def find out what her goals in life r. people do fall out of "love". and maybe when she sees that ur a person she can't really see her self living with and u both have very diff goals and thinking...it be easy to break this attachment and move on.

( if the post is authentic thn i see it as another example given to us by guru sahib to show us how bajar kurehits can throw us from our path or hold us back from reaching our spiritual goal in life. i know he wasnt amritdhari before but still the wrong doing of our past life does ffect us.)

bhul chuk muaff karni

do let us know whats going on! may guru sahib take u out of this muddy gooey pond_/\_

waheguru ji kakhalsa waheguru ji ki fateh!