Parents!

[sherlsurj]

ive been there where no1 listens. my fam hated me and i cut away contact awy frm mates. but sikhi helped me so much. whenever i was dwn id go gudwara just sit there and talk 2 waheguru. it helped so much. now things have improved 4 me and getting better everyday even thgh i thght they never ever wud. trust me sis things will get better. the best things uve done is open up on here thats a good start. ur parents will understand 1 day like my fam did. and then theyl thank u 4 bringing sikhi in the house. its funny thgh coz u think parents shud support u with things like this. oh well we r the future and its imp we stay strong 2getha

[xkaurx]

were there parents instead loll

[Guest tamasha]

o son, why do you argue with yor father?

it is a sin to argue with the one who fathered you and raised you.

kharku

I totally agree with you, but whos the real father

What makes you so sure, that your worldly father is not being referred to here?

[mskcan]

Recently ive been finding it really hard to keep my sikhi strong,

What is the definition of 'strong Sikhi'?

ive made so many changes since last year and now i just feel so down and lost because of my parents.

Why do you feel so 'down and lost' because of your parents. Does your mind say that your happiness is dependent upon their acceptance to you? If so, why?

yesterday we went to the gurdwara and i was sitting with my mum and the gianis were asking the sangat to join in and to jap naam and i just couldnt because i felt so awkward with my mum next to me!

Why 'couldn't' you do so? Was there something physically stopping you? If so, really, how? Or was it your mind that prevented you from following through by creating a distraction to prevent your True inner self from coming forward.

Here I will share an example, on the streets why do we choose not to smile for the sake of smiling, even though studies show that the persons we smile at will more likely have an improved mood as a result of seeing us smiling. Although this example is a little impersonal, if we understand it we can begin to see that often times our own experiences are limited by our own perceptions of what we feel or rather Think others expect of us. Leading me too...

omgggg i felt so bad i really wanted to join in but i couldnt because of her.

'Because of her'? Really? How so, again was there a physical force, or is this the reality you choose to create because you could not overcome a mental block.

whenever i do paat she always questions me and says im being to extreme,

Ok, now we see a situation where you state 'always' questions you. Does it really occur Always as in ALL the Time. Or are you compounding isolated or infrequent events with your own interpretation of that event. In other words, are you marginalising yourself as someone who is 'suffering' as a result of her questioning?

if she asks me to eat meat and i say no she starts getting all moody you'd think your parents would support you but nooooo

How were your responses to this. Were they quick and emotional, as in gut reactions. Or did you look for your Special Awareness that forms the basis of your beliefs to create for you a positive reminder that you can stay with your convictions and respond in such a way that you can Bring peace to the situation? Do you want to bring peace to the situation?

then she was talking about cutting her hair and I asked her not to but she didn't listen,

Does her cutting her hair represent something that can damage your beliefs? If so, why? Do you feel that this event in and of itself will alter your own self image? If so, what do you think of the situation. Thoughts that come from the ego say "She did this to spite me", "I can't believe she did this, I feel bad now". Thoughts that come from Peace, which is your True Self especially when one is Vibrating on the Source say "Source, she has done this, but it is Your Will, I choose to be at peace, and I choose to feel Good in this situation, that is I choose to feel God, make me a channel of your Peace and understanding so that I may attempt to understand this situation and respond to it Truthfully"

my dads just the same arghhh its so annoying i duno why they cant see the things the same way as me.

Must they 'see the things the same way as [you]'? Really? Why? Are you convincing yourself, or rather are your thoughts about your situation trying to convince you that you 'need' to make them understand? If so this is the ego trying to rationalize the situation, becaue the ego or the egoic mind needs to feed on this type of energy. The mind that allows Spiritual Awareness to come forward says "I want to feel peace, therefore", the ideal thing to say is "I understand what you are saying, however, this is what I am and what I believe as Truth (Truth is the absence of EGO or Edging God Out), and whether or not you accept it does not change the Truth, I am at peace with my decision I hope you can to".

sometimes it just feels like im wasting my time doing all this.

Really? Why? Doing all what? Wasting time, or misplacing your energies? The Ego quickly gets charged up on negative energies. Indeed they may be extrinsic, but as I mentioned Ego always Edges God Out of the equation. Ask yourself, how can you bring Truth to the situation, that is your Spiritual Conscious Awareness.

I tried talking to my friends about this but they don't understand. I never really thought id be the type of person to get hung up on this kind of thing but now ive realised sikhi means everything to me but its so hard doing it by myself

"If you realised who walked upon the path beside you, you would never experience fear or doubt again" - anonymous

I hope that you take in all that I have said (which is a critical appraisal of egoic expression that we all have) with an open mind...

anyone else been through something like this before?

and, yes I have been through this before, and I realise now the way I went about it was not necessarily what was best for me or those around me. I hope you take the time to absorb what I said as I only spoke with Truth.

[xkaurx]

Wow this is going to take a while to answer loll

What is the definition of 'strong Sikhi'?

When you have no doubts or questions in your mind about the path you’ve chosen and when everything seems to make perfect sense to you. When others words and actions don’t affect you because you have that much trust in waheguru.

Why do you feel so 'down and lost' because of your parents. Does your mind say that your happiness is dependent upon their acceptance to you? If so, why?

Why 'couldn't' you do so?

Course it matters to me, not only is it important for my happiness but I also want to keep them happy at the same time, they’ve looked out for me my whole life I don’t want to hurt or disrespect them in anyway. There opinion and support would mean so much to me. When you do things without a loved ones approval it can seem wrong.

Was there something physically stopping you? If so, really, how? Or was it your mind that prevented you from following through by creating a distraction to prevent your True inner self from coming forward.

Obviously it wasn’t going to be physical its all in my head, ive never felt so strongly before and neither have I been in this kind of situation which is why I found it awkward.

Here I will share an example, on the streets why do we choose not to smile for the sake of smiling, even though studies show that the persons we smile at will more likely have an improved mood as a result of seeing us smiling. Although this example is a little impersonal, if we understand it we can begin to see that often times our own experiences are limited by our own perceptions of what we feel or rather Think others expect of us. Leading me too....

'Because of her'? Really? How so, again was there a physical force, or is this the reality you choose to create because you could not overcome a mental block.

Maybe because I cant talk to her openly about things it restricted me somehow, because shes said stuff in the past against some of the things I do so I thought she would have probably done the same this time which must have put me off.

Ok, now we see a situation where you state 'always' questions you. Does it really occur Always as in ALL the Time. Or are you compounding isolated or infrequent events with your own interpretation of that event. In other words, are you marginalising yourself as someone who is 'suffering' as a result of her questioning?

When I say always I don’t mean every single day, but like say im in my room doing paat and she just happens to walk in then she’ll have something to say about it, if she doesn’t say it to me she’ll say it to dad then along comes the lecture, but nah not suffering we just have our differences

How were your responses to this. Were they quick and emotional, as in gut reactions. Or did you look for your Special Awareness that forms the basis of your beliefs to create for you a positive reminder that you can stay with your convictions and respond in such a way that you can Bring peace to the situation? Do you want to bring peace to the situation?

Yeh I want to bring peace to the situation but I don’t see how im going to be able to do that. My responses are usually quick and emotional, they haven’t always been like that once I was talking to dad about it but then he tried to make out everything I was saying was wrong by bringing things way out of context.

Does her cutting her hair represent something that can damage your beliefs? If so, why

Why would it damage my beliefs? im not cutting mine I just wish she thought twice about cutting her own.

Do you feel that this event in and of itself will alter your own self image? If so, what do you think of the situation. Thoughts that come from the ego say "She did this to spite me", "I can't believe she did this, I feel bad now". Thoughts that come from Peace, which is your True Self especially when one is Vibrating on the Source say "Source, she has done this, but it is Your Will, I choose to be at peace, and I choose to feel Good in this situation, that is I choose to feel God, make me a channel of your Peace and understanding so that I may attempt to understand this situation and respond to it Truthfully"

I doubt she would do anything to spite me, I never really thought about it that way and wouldn’t want to. It just kind of hurt a bit and I thought why would she want to cut it. she has cut it before but I never thought anything of it but because I never realised the importance of it. Its up to her at the end of the day who am I to say anything to her.

Must they 'see the things the same way as [you]'? Really? Why? Are you convincing yourself, or rather are your thoughts about your situation trying to convince you that you 'need' to make them understand? If so this is the ego trying to rationalize the situation, becaue the ego or the egoic mind needs to feed on this type of energy. The mind that allows Spiritual Awareness to come forward says "I want to feel peace, therefore", the ideal thing to say is "I understand what you are saying, however, this is what I am and what I believe as Truth (Truth is the absence of EGO or Edging God Out), and whether or not you accept it does not change the Truth, I am at peace with my decision I hope you can to".

I want them to see things my way because I want them to get into sikhi and see just how much they’ll benefit from it. I don’t desperately need them to understand but a little support wouldn’t go a miss. Also I don’t think ego is always bad you know, if people feed off energy like that wont that just encourage them to do whats best for them and make them more sure of themselves?

Really? Why? Doing all what? Wasting time, or misplacing your energies? The Ego quickly gets charged up on negative energies. Indeed they may be extrinsic, but as I mentioned Ego always Edges God Out of the equation. Ask yourself, how can you bring Truth to the situation, that is your Spiritual Conscious Awareness.

Wasting my time trying to answer their questions and explaining things to them for them to just disagree after each point . btw nice questions lol kinda made me feel better

[mskcan]

Course it matters to me, not only is it important for my happiness but I also want to keep them happy at the same time, they've looked out for me my whole life I don't want to hurt or disrespect them in anyway. There opinion and support would mean so much to me. When you do things without a loved ones approval it can seem wrong.

Indeed, I trust that any child would like to value the opinion of the parent. However, an opinion that is in rapport with the Source from which we originate is quite different from a gut response coming from our mental conditioning. Guru Nanak exemplified this by feeding the poor Saints who sang the glorious Praises, out rightly defying his father Mehta Kalu. Although things need not be so drastic, you are exclaiming your identity, your Strong Sikhi as an expression of your True Self. Without conscious constant vigilance your egoic thoughts may fill you, and consume your spirit. It is important to be aware of this.

Obviously it wasn't going to be physical its all in my head, ive never felt so strongly before and neither have I been in this kind of situation which is why I found it awkward.

It was never implied that that is something 'physical'. The importance of this statement in my experience is so that we destroy the emotional bonds with their invisible strings pulling on us. This connection is like the strings of a puppet playing with our emotions. However, it is purely superficial, a fallacy created by the mind. The MIND is the True adversary. This is why Sikhi is Truly a Spiritual Path, because Shabad Guru reveals to us how to emulate the Saints.

Maybe because I cant talk to her openly about things it restricted me somehow, because shes said stuff in the past against some of the things I do so I thought she would have probably done the same this time which must have put me off.

Thoughts of 'can't' and 'restriction' once again is the emotion that the egoic mind uses to justify why we can not or should not be in a place of peace. It is constantly trying to rationalize and justify itself in defense of others views of you. The key to happiness is to avoid conflict, and to surround yourself (the mind) with Peace, or the conditions that we wish to create. If we enjoy swimming and wish to swim, we must surely be surrounded by water.

When I say always I don't mean every single day, but like say im in my room doing paat and she just happens to walk in then she'll have something to say about it, if she doesn't say it to me she'll say it to dad then along comes the lecture, but nah not suffering we just have our differences

It is my intention to be at peace with everyone in my life, including all of my relatives. I Insist that I will be at that place in my life. I am going to be kindness.

This is a powerful statement. Because it is in alignment with the Positive Polarity which is our Source. The Universe is full of polarities, the human existence is as such: We are either in rapport (attached to the hem) of the Lord, or we are in the absence of the True Spirit. What we perceive as wars, evil, and anger in the world is merely people far from the Source. What keeps them from the Source? The egoic mind planted within all beings.

Yeh I want to bring peace to the situation but I don't see how im going to be able to do that. My responses are usually quick and emotional, they haven't always been like that once I was talking to dad about it but then he tried to make out everything I was saying was wrong by bringing things way out of context.

just keep doing what you are doing, you are on the right path. The sun is always shining behind the clouds. Stay connected.

Why would it damage my beliefs? im not cutting mine I just wish she thought twice about cutting her own.

Squeeze an orange, and you get orange out of it. Squeeze a person, put pressure on them… Then comes out anger, fear, emotions, that’s because you are not in a state of love.

I doubt she would do anything to spite me, I never really thought about it that way and wouldn't want to. It just kind of hurt a bit and I thought why would she want to cut it. she has cut it before but I never thought anything of it but because I never realised the importance of it. Its up to her at the end of the day who am I to say anything to her.

I am not saying that you have no right to have the feelings that you have. No doubt they are an expression of your world experience. However, via thinking we normally do not find answers because the egoic mind is always attempting to create 'stories' by interpreting other peoples behaviours, trying to justify its own. Only when we are in rapport with our True Selves can we truly understand our relationship with the Universe. Your realising this will perhaps come in time, perhaps it will not come at all, but it can come through meditation and contemplative reflection. This is the essence of Spiritual Practice. In the end what you say is important, but it is how you deliver the message that matters. By making someone feel poorly about an action they do will not help them, but wanting more for that person via prayer can do much more. In fact if we want more for ourselves, we should want that 'more' of whatever it is we desire for others as well.

I want them to see things my way because I want them to get into sikhi and see just how much they'll benefit from it. I don't desperately need them to understand but a little support wouldn't go a miss. Also I don't think ego is always bad you know, if people feed off energy like that wont that just encourage them to do whats best for them and make them more sure of themselves?

If it is not their purpose, or if they are not ready it is not likely that stating perceived benefit will help them. If that were the case missionaries would have converted the world over centuries ago. We can learn from other religious practices, because it tells us that what has been done previously has not worked, if it does not work then perhaps we should adapt. What have the Saints and Bhagats taught us? "Log janey ehey geet hai, ei to Barahm Bichaar" - People think that this is a song, but it is Meditation upon the Lord. The Guru's exemplified Practice of their teachings, followers were created not through preaching. As Gurmukh to emulate these qualities is virtuous.

Wasting my time trying to answer their questions and explaining things to them for them to just disagree after each point . btw nice questions lol kinda made me feel better

I do hope that my words do not deny you of your emotions, and experiences. Rather, perhaps they will help you to awaken to a new understanding and a new way of thinking that can allows us to live in Rising Spirits within the world. Where there is war, let us bring Peace, where there is anger, let us bring Love.

We have low energy, because we hate people for hating us or our ways, we get angry because we see others angry.

Yet we convince others by our presence.

And in doing so, we live in the world that the Saints described for us. One in which there is only God in all things, Vibrating upon the One Within All that is the Source of all things.

as above regards, Gurfateh

[*gupt-kaur*]

lol, u 2! to quote:

click quote. :lol: then under a sentence u wana quote.. type

... shud look like this:

write here wat u wana quote

[ quote ]

.......

[ / quote ]

^^ dont space like ive done... thats an example.

[xkaurx]

:o you know what you've just made me look at things completely differently now those questions really made me think and helped a lot thanks

[varindersingh]

varinder

firstlyyyyyy dont everrrrrrr give your email out like that so openly over a forum not everyones who they seem i could be a guy loll not that i am :lol: but next time be more careful please. my nanis a radhasoami as well what exactly do they believe in? i no she sees this baba in dera or something like that but not too sure. But what you said is right no one can compete with sikhi i just gota learn to be strong like all of you have said, guess im just finding it weird because most of my family including cousins n stuff are the complete opposite to me, its weird how a person can change so much over a short space of time.

by the way thanks for the replies everyone very much appreciated

bhain ji don't worry about that I don't care about email add like that coz hukam to Gursikh is “Gur Sikhan Iko Pyar GurMittan Puttan Bhaian". Also can't I believe my GurSikh brothers and sisters??? :6 :6 :6

I don't afraid to say anything about Radha Soamis coz I have spent 21 years of my life with them and when I read just two Banis " Japji Sahib ji" and "Rehraas Sahib" then I got answer of my every question.. When I got my answers at that time I saw that whatever they (radhasoami) are telling is totally wrong...

There are thousands of things that I can tell u that they do wrong... Baba of Radha Soami dera acts as a Guru and tries to explain meaning of Gurbani in Dera. He tries to explain that Sikhs are just reading Gurbani but they don't follow it... But Guru Ji said "Gurbani" is not only the path of dharam it is also Naam. I agree that we have to follow the way of Gurbani, but if we are just reading Gurbani with Pyar and Sharda then still we can get AKAL Purakh coz "Anhat Bani gur shabad jani har naam har ras bhogo"...

They say that one can't not enchants naam loudly coz someone can listen naam ,but Guru ji wrote 4 Pauris on listening in Japji sahib & also wrote about the "Avastha" of that person who listen "NAAM"

They say that blind person is not entitled to get NAAM coz he / she can't see Guru and Guru Ji Said in Japji Sahib " Sunae Ande pavhe rah"..

How come they can take support of Gurbani and in the end say that Shabad can't be GURU

C my dear sister I did not want to compare them with Sikhi coz they r not entitled 2 but when they try to take support of Gurbani and in the end they say SIKH follow the wrong path then it.............

leave it sorry I took topic totally into another direction..

But my dear Sister you are the daughter of Sahib Sri Guru Gobind Singh ji and Mata Sahib Kaur ji and don't think if your cosines are not with then no one is with you entire Khalsa Kaom is with u.. Guru ji said us that Gursikh must have love more than their real brother sisters among them.

If I have said something wrong then I am sorry

Guru Fateh Ji

[xkaurx]

paaji im not a gursikh lol far from it actually but thanks for clearing that radha soami thing up i can see why you didnt want to follow it now :Re: