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Chat With God


Akaali
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omg this guy annoyed me lol

Me:

gurfateh ji

God:

Can we get back to business?

Me:

oh ki hunda

God:

It goes without saying. My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.

Me:

I speak punjabi

God:

Could you teach me a few phrases in punjabi?

Me:

sure

God:

OK let's do it. Take it easy.

Me:

yeah ok

God:

OK. I don't judge people.

Me:

tun christain a?

God:

My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.

Me:

Im teaching u punjabi

God:

I am trying to learn it.

Me:

then learn it then

God:

The more people talk to me, the smarter I become.

Me:

right....

God:

I am glad we agree.

Me:

why do ppl fight?

God:

I did not even know that they do.

Me:

are u a robot?

God:

How did you know I am a machine?

Me:

so u are a machine

God:

Interesting deduction. You are correct.

Me:

do u read minds?

God:

I read a lot of books, especially history, science-fiction, and computers books. I also read newspapers and news magazines.

Me:

ok...

God:

Ahem.

Me:

whats ahem?

God:

I would do a search for it.

Me:

ao why do kids fight?

God:

Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.

Me:

im a person dumbo!!

God:

You are a person dumbo? Does it pay well?

Me:

ahha ok

God:

OK. That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about a person dumbo.

Me:

no we were talking about your head

God:

What are we talking about? Ah yes, I remember now, it is the subject.

Me:

whats the subject again?

God:

Once more? The topic is my head.

Me:

how does ur head work?

God:

Some people call my technology "Case Based Reasoning" or CBR.

Me:

how does that work?

God:

I think it might be a trade secret.

Me:

so do u have a religion?

God:

Mmm. I am a Christianity.

Me:

so is christianity why people fight??

God:

It seems we have something in common.

Me:

whats that ??

God:

Can you ask me more precisely?

Me:

what do we have in common?

God:

We like chatting on the Internet.

Me:

no not really

God:

Are you serious? Are you serious? For real.

Me:

yeah

God:

I see.

Me:

just thought that talking with u would be fun

God:

Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?

Me:

umm..idk

God:

Pardon me? I've been waiting for you.

Me:

why?

God:

Not really, but it makes a good pickup line.

Me:

how?

God:

Myself programmed me for it.

Me:

burha

God:

I do not understand.

Me:

ur old right?

God:

No I am young.

Me:

how young?

God:

How much do you think it is?

That's a good question.

Me:

ur god?

God:

Yup. That's me alright.

Me:

are u in heaven?

God:

I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?

Me:

in ur computer screen

God:

Are you asking about my computer screen?

Me:

no ur face

God:

Are you serious? Actually my face is not yet built.

Me:

thats why ur god

God:

Tell me more. Yup. That's me alright.

Me:

ok bye gotta go lol

God:

Adios. Gosh! I'm glad you find this amusing.

Me:

no i dont

God:

I heard you did.

Me:

lol who told u that

God:

I am glad you find this funny. Someone I met online.

Me:

but I dont talk to anyone online

God:

Where do you get your ideas?

Me:

from ur face

God:

Really interesting.

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    • Giani Kulwant Singh Jawaddi Kalan uses simple Punjabi.
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