Marriage

[Guest Guest]

Fateh,

Pls help me..My wife has left me and playing in hands for her parents and her ego .She has taken transfer to different city and on and off gave me a feeling of cheating and mistrust( took away all the jewellery and kept with her). She doesnt share with me anything,and smallest of the happenings at home flows to her parents in a sec.She is in a Managerial position in a bank and as per talks with her parents it seems that the professional success only matters to them and their daughter.They are palying mind tactics by forcing me to come home at the pretext of seeing my daughter.As my dad is heart patient i cannot ask my wife to live with them as she is very short tempered.Moreover i cannot get transfer to thet city as it will pose a greater risk as they have pressurised and took in writing that i will not manhandle my wife( instead several times she had been very aggressive.Its almost two months,initially she used to call me now she seldom calls me.I cannot even think my life without her as she was the first girl i loved,similarly i am depressed by the thot of seeing her with other man that if it goes wrong to divorce.Her mother is all behind this game as she wants that she shud dominate at home.I regularly feel down in spirits and tired.Help in breaking me free from their mind tactics and get my family back.I never imagined that in marriage which is of souls such dirty games are played.

I think if this continues i will be in deep state of unrest mind and health which nobody seems to be concerned off apart frm my parents.

In short right now i am deeply shattered with the treatment from soulmate.

Is materialism and freedom to women destroying marriage ,families and mutual respect .If yes then why people who beleive in this are effected the most..just because they are more emotional than the previous lot.

I want my family back but i also want not to be treated this as my weekness for mind games and used as doormat.

I am sorry if the above doesnt link up very well during converstion.It might be diffficult in understanding..but i am waiting for blessings of sangat in the form of advise...LUV

Dhan Dhan Satnaam-Satguru-Sat-Sangat,

Please accept our Dandout at ur feet of dear incarnation of never incarnated one,

Love is the poison for mind and medicine for Heart , Love is one which takes us from duality of constant worries and uncertaintaty towards certainnity thath is God Himself , oh EKM jee Dhan Dhan is u to share an issue with our followers of Path which leads us to to the unendless one. Keep Prayer for "HUKUM RAJAI CHALNAI" , Pray for Bhane mein sukh means whatever happinng is God's Will and this is a part of larger picture which is much more beautiful than this liitle portion , you and we all are blessed with Human Life to reach the Almighty meet him and get a parmanent place in Peace God, remeber hw much Dikh Guru-Sahiban Dhan Dhan Guru Sahiban's and Bhagat of Lover-God have Got while getting toutored in hands of some misled people but they never ever got any kind of mental stress and pain YYYYYYYYYYY????????? because they all had wealth of Super Duper Lovable love filled Naam Amolak Rattan in their heart , in their Rom-Rom means each cell , so all suffering is also blessing the first line of Dhan Dhan Rahrass sahib quotes , commands us , tells us explains us that " DUKH DAROO SUKH ROG BHAYIA" means pain is medicine to the disease of sukh which has caused us sepration frm Lovable one ,so be happy , say thanks always from heart teri kirpa teri rehmat je na mana taan muj te tohmat , oh pyaare din dayale mere puran rakhwale hath de adhaar naam de apaar oh puran Kartar Dhan Dhan Sat-Kartar Satnaam-Satnaam-Satnaam-Satnaam-Sada Sat Sat SatNaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam satnaam Satnaam satnaam Satnaam Satnaam satnaam satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Sada Satnaam keep on reciting it with love u will get the real love which everyone of us is longing for all problems will die out . Sad Sukhi Rahoo Dhan Dhan Dhan Dhan Dhan Dhan Dhan Dahn Sada Dhan Rahoo . Sad Chardi Kala te rahoo sad Khasam nimaane da simran karoo. Sad Ghat Jat Tat da Raah vekhoo . Sat Sat Sat Sat Da simran karoo.

Thanks for reading and all this is power of our Guru Dhan Dhan Dassadass jee Dhan Dhan Paar Baraham parmeshar we are nothing to do anything we are kodhi kaam de Mange Naam ishan de.

just ur charan dhoor

papi no. 1.

[EKM]

Dear Sangat Ji,

To add to the latest update i went and visited my wife who is living with her parents .I did all i could even said sorry to test whether i can shed my haume but all these efforts doesn't seem to soften my wife . am surprised that after 4 yrs how can suddenly a female be so emotionless.Am i living in a society where father/husband is only seen as a mode to suffice the needs of the family and the females only consider a father /son a needed relationship in their lives how can my wife keep herself restrained from talking to me,if i call up then she responds well otherwise she is cold and i feel that i am unwanted in her life.Is doing job and earning well by my wife be the reason to destroy my family and devoid me of my daughter.

Pls pray to God its been the test for almost six months.How much low is sufficient to bring back my family.Will i have to live with my wife without self esteem.What can be the psyche of such families who treat their daughter as equal to sons and even not bother whther she is deleivering the resposibility as wife or not.When did the society which wanted the girls to study so that they might not be helpless after their husband and father changed to a society where a ladies profession has become more important than running the family.I s it the start of an end of family in India.

Should i do to bring back my family despite cold responses /disinterest.What actions related to this will make my Guru feel happy in this phase.Frankly i am not able to do path /simran.

Rgds

[Guest Guest]

Dear Sangat Ji,

To add to the latest update i went and visited my wife who is living with her parents .I did all i could even said sorry to test whether i can shed my haume but all these efforts doesn't seem to soften my wife . am surprised that after 4 yrs how can suddenly a female be so emotionless.Am i living in a society where father/husband is only seen as a mode to suffice the needs of the family and the females only consider a father /son a needed relationship in their lives how can my wife keep herself restrained from talking to me,if i call up then she responds well otherwise she is cold and i feel that i am unwanted in her life.Is doing job and earning well by my wife be the reason to destroy my family and devoid me of my daughter.

Pls pray to God its been the test for almost six months.How much low is sufficient to bring back my family.Will i have to live with my wife without self esteem.What can be the psyche of such families who treat their daughter as equal to sons and even not bother whther she is deleivering the resposibility as wife or not.When did the society which wanted the girls to study so that they might not be helpless after their husband and father changed to a society where a ladies profession has become more important than running the family.I s it the start of an end of family in India.

Should i do to bring back my family despite cold responses /disinterest.What actions related to this will make my Guru feel happy in this phase.Frankly i am not able to do path /simran.

Rgds

WJKK WJKF

mahraj i cannot imagine what your are going through, i can only offer my condolences and my prayers (and i will pray for you in my ardass).. but please please i beg of you do not stop doing your paat, this is the biggest mistake you are making in your life

..I know there are times (everyone as them - even me) when life brings you down and the first thing you do is turn away from doing your paat, I know my life has been short lived so far but from what little i have lived I can tell you that not doing your paat is only making the situation worse

so please this is my humble request please start doing your paat again.. and dont loose faith

phul chuk maaf karna is pappi nu mahraj

WJKK WJKF

[Sikh_Soldier]

Dear Sangat Ji,

To add to the latest update i went and visited my wife who is living with her parents .I did all i could even said sorry to test whether i can shed my haume but all these efforts doesn't seem to soften my wife . am surprised that after 4 yrs how can suddenly a female be so emotionless.Am i living in a society where father/husband is only seen as a mode to suffice the needs of the family and the females only consider a father /son a needed relationship in their lives how can my wife keep herself restrained from talking to me,if i call up then she responds well otherwise she is cold and i feel that i am unwanted in her life.Is doing job and earning well by my wife be the reason to destroy my family and devoid me of my daughter.

Pls pray to God its been the test for almost six months.How much low is sufficient to bring back my family.Will i have to live with my wife without self esteem.What can be the psyche of such families who treat their daughter as equal to sons and even not bother whther she is deleivering the resposibility as wife or not.When did the society which wanted the girls to study so that they might not be helpless after their husband and father changed to a society where a ladies profession has become more important than running the family.I s it the start of an end of family in India.

Should i do to bring back my family despite cold responses /disinterest.What actions related to this will make my Guru feel happy in this phase.Frankly i am not able to do path /simran.

Rgds

Waheguru ji ka khalsa Waheguru ji ke fatehh

With all due repect paaji, in case you haven't realised Sikhi encourages the equality of men and women... just like you may have the desire to provide for your family and become successful so may she, just because she's a woman she's not obliged to stay at home and fulfill the stereotype of a typical indian stay-at-home housewife. Maybe this has occured due to a lack of understanding from your part in terms of what she also wants, rather than you wishing to inflict this stereotype upon her? There must be some reason why, maybe respecting her views would be a start? Like above; maharaj does things to make us stronger, tests us to improve who we are; it may just be a test o you moh?

Bhul Chuk Maaf

Waheguru ji ka khalsa Waheguru ji ke fatehh

[baljeet]

Yes time is chagning so fast. You cannot trust anyone these days its all kalyuga da pehra pray pray pray do jaap. vaheguru ji mehar karan gee sab teek huga. I bee through same situation First it was very hard for myself to belive that i been betrayed just for Green card marriage. Ever Since I start accepting the facts of life its very easy for me now.

God gave me a new direction. Its hard to belive but I am very happy person. Whatever happen it happen for reason. Only ask for bani

Dum Dum sada sambalda Dum ah birtha jai

I think little different My wife ran away I am glad she did my eyes are open before it was too late. 2 years i wasted for her in her moh. I only did paath for 6 months and god gave me so much power that I am guru da sikh now. I love it oh sache patsha wal tusi ek step lao he will move forward 100000 of step to save you.

Belive in vaheguru he is only true father, mother, brother, friend, wife everything

Asi wife nu sirf miss karde moh, kam, maya vich tyaag doh es nu veer ji kuch nahi es vich

Kam sirf unha ke kids hon

Moh sirf unha ke kese da dil nah tute

Maya sirf unhi kee two waqt di rooti mele.

Jaap jinna ve karoo unha kaat

[cool water]

I feel for the brother in this topic but.. for others considering marriage this case highlights that beefore marrying anyone always make sure your partner to be has love for waheguru above all things in this world. If the love of God is always in their mind then they will not do you wrong because they know God is watching, whereas if you marry a person who is lost in this dunia of materialism and so called freedoms and pleasure then you will be destined to be unhappy because they will drag you down with them.

[Guest Guest]

To the original poster

Man, hang in there. We are short-sighted humans. Whatever is happening, is happening according to God's Will. You may not like it but thats what it is. So as others said, yes, Nam simran v. important. Because of frustractions in life, you won't be able to focus. So do this instead, until you feel like reciting bani. Listen to kathas. I personally like nitnem bani's kathas by Giani Thakur singh. Start from Chaupai sahib and then Anand sahib, and Twe prashad Swaiye and slowly slowly go through all of them until u get addicted to listening to kathas, shabads and other sikh related kathas/lectures. Slowly slowly, u will understand the picture of life better. As I always say and seen happening, if something/someone belongs to you, it will come to you if not, then its going to go, no matter how much you try to hold on to. So just change the focus of your life. If eventually your family is supposed to be united with you, babaji will make it happen for you. You do ur part, and rest babaji will take care on your behalf.

the way I believe is that its not that problems dont' come in life, they come, but nam simran, believing in God's will, helps you to not fight it, but helps you to accept things and things will happen the way they are supposed to happen anyways no matter what you try.

So in nutshell, surrender yourself and what happens to you, to babaji. You r his son, let him decide how he wants to keep you, happy or miserable, with his that daughter who is ur wife or some other daughter or no daughter at all. Just remove urself as the decision maker. U are not the decision maker anyways, its just that we humans like to think we can control things and decide things. As soon as u understand that, all your anxiety/pain/mental distress/frustration/worries will be gone.