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SOME THINGS WILL NEVER CHANGE!


Guest G.Kaur
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Guest G.Kaur

MAKING TEA

Take the good old English cup of tea.

The English way to make tea for 1 person:- Fill the kettle with 1 cup of water and bring to the boil.

Put tea bag and sugar in the mug.

Add boiling water to the mug.

Add milk and stir with spoon.

That's 5 minutes to make a good old English cup of tea.

The Indian way to make tea for

1 person:-

-Fill saucepan with 12 cups of water.(just in case we get guests)

-Place saucepan on the cooker and make sure the gas is at maximum.

-Add to water 2 spoons of PG Tips tea, 12 spoons sugar, half spoon

lechia (cardamom)

and sornf( fennel seeds).

-Bring water to boil(takes about 10 minutes).

-When water is boiling, turn gas to half and let it simmer for 15

minutes.

-After 15 minutes, turn gas to maximum until water is boiling again.

-When water is boiling add milk.(As were only making tea for 1

person, then 1 bottle of milk will do)

-Bring this to the boil.(takes usually 10 minutes)

-When it is boiling, turn gas to half and let is simmer for 10

minutes.

-After 10 minutes, take out metal teapot(if you use china teapot it

will crack from the intense heat of the tea)

-Put large tea strainer on teapot.

-Now the tricky part. Put gas to maximum and bring tea to boil again

-When boiling turn off gas, take saucepan and pour tea into metal

teapot.

(Do this in the sink as volcanic activity of the tea will cause it to

splash everywhere)

-Now pour tea in GLASS cups and wait half an hour for it to cool down.

That's 1 hour and 5 minutes to make a good old Indian cup of tea.

How about coffee?

English drink coffee first thing in the morning and t

hen every hour on

the hour till about 7pm. Yeah coffee keeps them awake and improves

their performance at work, but is it any wonder they still don't get

any work done, they waste half their day taking coffee breaks.

How do you make English coffee:-

-You boil the water, whilst placing 1 teaspoon of coffee in each mug

with sugar.

-When the water is boiling, pour into the mug and add milk.

Indians drink coffee right before going to bed, but only when they have

guests over, I wonder why??

This is the usual scenario.

Its usually 3am, everyone's sitting in the lounge including the guests

chatting about <admin-profanity filter activated>. Everyone wants to go to sleep but no ones going to

make the first move. Obviously because you have guests you have to

serve food and drink at least every hour. So being so late the mother

of the house offers everyone coffee. Everyone says no, but she goes and

makes it anyway.

How do you make Indian coffee:-

-Water??.....what water??? there is no water in Indian coffee

-Pour milk, enough for all guests into saucepan.

-Put saucepan on the cooker and make sure gas is at maximum

-If there are 5 people to serve put half teaspoon of coffee in milk.

-If there are 10 people to serve put half teaspoon of coffee in milk.

-If there are 20 people to serve put half teaspoon of coffee in milk.

-Add sugar.

-Bring milk to boil, when it boils turn gas low and let it simmer for

10 minutes and then bring to boil again

-Serve to guests.

By the time the coffee is cold enough for them to drink, it will be 5am.

Sunday Lunch???

English like to sleep in Sunday mornings, so they don't have breakfast

but usually have a

large lunch. The Sunday Roast they call it. Big heavy meal that makes

them tired and fall asleep in the afternoon again.

Indians since coming to this country have followed suite and come up

with their own equivalent - ALLOO DEH PAROTHEY (potat

o-butter layered

chapatti). Yes.....every Sunday the mother will cook ALLOO DEH PAROTHEY.>

The whole house is full of a mist(the smoke from cooking) and the

distinct smell of ALLOO DEH PAROTHEY is sure to wake the men up as the

smoke reaches their bedrooms.

Fish & Chips??? The English are well know for their fish and chips. If

there is nothing else to eat then there is always fish and chips.

Indians felt that they needed something that would be common to them

like fish and chips were to the English. After much thought that common

food was - ALLOO DEH PAROTHEY. Yes.....not only could we eat them on

Sunday but we could have them on any other day of the week too.

Cooking???

-English work out how many people there are for dinner and then cook

for that many people each day.

-Indians work out how many people there are for dinner and then

MULTIPLY by 7 to cook to feed that many people for the week.

You ever wondered why they have such big freezers??

Furniture???

English have 1 sofa set in their lounge, 1 table and 1 bed in each

bedroom.

Indians???......go to an Indian house and you'll think you've walked

into some bleedin furniture store.

The typical lounge has at least 2 sofa sets, all multicoloured and

covered in plastic. Any gaps are filled with stools and chairs. You'll

have at least 2 coffee tables and the walls are covered

with family portraits. Go up to the bedrooms and you'll find at least 2

double beds in each room and king size at that. I'm sure if you look in

some corner you'll find a mattress or two. (All to accommodate the

GUESTS they say.)

Look on top of the wardrobes and you'll find a pile of suitcases

stacked to the ceiling, just don't look inside the wardrobe.

Have you ever seen a Indian garage? Its supposed to be used to park

their cars. What do Indians use it for???.....to store all their junk

that's what. They think it will come in han

dy one day.....maybe when

their kids get married.

Family???

An English man's immediate family is his mother, his father, his

brother, his sister, his sons and daughters.

An Indian man's immediate family is his mother, his father, his

brother, his sister, his sons and

daughters, his taya-ji(dad's eldest brother), phuffar-ji(dad's

sister's husband), his mammi's (mum's brother's wife) bhua's (dad's

sister's)massis's (mum's sister) chacha's (dad's brother's wife) sons,

his paindoo's (village people) from India that his never met before,

and every Indian is his Uncle-ji, Aunty-ji, pah-ji(brother) or phen-ji

(sister).

LOL :umm:

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