Brother Is Using Prostitutes

[Guest angry and sad]

Just as the title states my brother has been using prostitutes for almost 3 years now and I don’t know what to do. He is 26 and I am a year older. I’ve suspected something for a few years but he has promised me he wasn't doing anything. It wasn't until I found irrefutable evidence that he admitted to this. We argued, well I shouted he didn’t say anything he just sat quietly. What hurt me most was that he has lied to me about this for years. I am just seething with anger that he has done this. I don’t know what to do. Our parents obviously have no idea and my fear is that I will say something, in anger to them about him. He isn’t religious at all so going to the Gurdwara etc isn’t something he has any interest in. What do I do? Inside me I feel rage towards him.

[valli singh]

Well,

I sympathize with you and understand perfectly the sense of outrage and

anger that you feel,

More than anything, I guess you feel letdown and disappointed

by his actions as well as disgusted by his weakness and irresponsible

behaviour, hopefully he can redeem himself in your eyes, maybe if he

met a good woman with good qualities he would desist from this self-destructive path,

Only with familial support and not abandonment and rage can he

overcome this addiction and come to faith,

Yet, since he is irreligious it is not particularly suprising that a man

would behave like this as it is pretty universal regardless of culture

for people with hedonistic mindsets,(though that fact probably won't help you)

but please understand that there is nothing in his upbringing that could

have caused this and there is nothing that a brother or sister could

have ever said or done to have prevented this, it is simply a case

of uncontrolled desires deep within him that are possessing him and

driving him to act in this way.

I guess it is just one of thos things where all you can really

do is to preach against it and hope that he feels shame and repents

or through his own experiences he realizes the pitfalls of such behaviour and changes,

Obviously he's ashamed of doing this or he wouldn't be keeping it secret

but to tell your parents would further drive a wedge between you and him

, maybe some sort of intervention type situation with his friends etc might help?

I've seen people with similar problems cured by family members talking to

mahapurukhs, doing bani or akhand paaths, hukamnamas.

But the bottom line is that he has to want to change deeply from within

(and he probably does, you just have to coax it out of him)

Guru's Grace

[Guest Tuhin]

Listen to your inner voice. It'll be easy for you to stay away from him but listening to him might be more helpful to him - your brother. Ask for the truth, and then become all ears; stay in the moment and listen to what he has to say. For once...just listen without reacting.

Help him. Don't abandon him. Tell him about the circumstances under which these women have become prostitutes. Some of them were raped while they are children, some of them were tortured by their own so-called family members to become prositutes, some do it so they fill their childrens' stomach, rare do it for fun and these types have aids.

Women are not toys. A six year old girl got raped in our city here, I wonder how she'll ever get out of these horrible memories. The father of this girl said he wishes that he hadn't heard those most disturbing things that his little girl had told him, as no father would ever like to hear them. For one person's so-called dirty fun, a soul is now left with the most disturbing memories; those that'll be damn hard to overcome.

Take your brother out on a tour to this prositute paradise nearby and question these women if they are willing to tell him "why and under what circumstances they became prosititutes."

Hey Guru...

[apnepart2]

please make sure u guys don't marry him to an innocent girl to get rid of his problem. he is sick!

[jassa]

its not his fault ... we need to look up ... how he was raised up ... human mind is like a tree ... for first 15 years parents friends uncles aunts school tv etc etc fills him up later he starts giving back to society ... if he was raised well religiously if not religiously but with certain social rules he can leave this stuff in future ... if he raised up as a ladla putter of mummy papa he will not change ... rest every thing is in hands of guru sahib ...

two brother same parents same home atmosphere ... ones good ones bad these is where previous karmas play there part ...

[Guest angry and sad]

no, the cure isn't to get him married to someone so he can expose them to STD or worse. why do you think i would ever entertain a thought like that. i said to him, one day you'll get married is this what you want your wife to be married to, is this what you want you children to be born to.

[Guest _singh_soldier_]

Before coming to sikhi, I had lots of mona punjabi friends who had affairs and had sex with girls. There are very few virgins in this world I feel. We are living in ghor kaliyug and unless a person is imbued in Naam, kaam is going to get the better of him and he will either date and sleep with girls or go to prostitutes. The solution lies in counselling him, make him do mool mantarr in the morning.

[Papi]

Everyone person in the world is looking for love in a way that they think is best. He's just screaming for love Give him pyaar in the house and most likely he will stop going out looking for it.

Sorry if that sounded harsh, that was not my intention.

Guru Rakha