Caste

[Papi]

othey amlaan de honay ne naverrhay

kisay nah teri jaat pushni

othey ta ni pushni, par ithey (on earth) saarey pushdey aa

PS. putt tarkhana dey burraaaaa :cool:

PPS WTH is a "dharkan" that is a hindi word meaning heart beat :6 Its tarkhaan (qrKwx). Traditionally these guys did wood work, which of course is irrelevant in today's society. I for one can't use a screw driver to save my life :rolleyes:

[jassa]

learn from the mistakes ur parents are making dont force it on your kids ...

[babbar_sher]

The real problem is, you don't seem to be a confident and independant person even after being in States.

Therefore you are unable to practice your beliefs. Under these circumstances, what you did was best i.e obey your parents.

Frankly, unless a person is Mature and creates his/her own Individuality, they will always be judged only on the basis of parents or ancestory as they are technically Dependants not Adults.

+1

[Guest Alias]

sikh usa - i would suggest to speak to your parents about this caste issue. i understand that you wish to honour your parents wishes but, if the decision made by your parents is incorrect and anti-sikhi then you need to stand up to this. e.g. if your parents turn out of the blue and say (hypothetically speaking)'son i think its time you cut your hair' you would not say whatever your wish i will do that - you would say this is against sikhi, and my guru and stand against it -- as is this caste issue. i would suggest to speak to your parents and make them understand, only after they have agreed should you approach the girls parents.

[Papi]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

Singh USA,

The real problem is, you don't seem to be a confident and independant person even after being in States.

Therefore you are unable to practice your beliefs. Under these circumstances, what you did was best i.e obey your parents.

Frankly, unless a person is Mature and creates his/her own Individuality, they will always be judged only on the basis of parents or ancestory as they are technically Dependants not Adults.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

Seems to me a lot of members on this forum live a in a hypothetical idealistic world, which is far from the reality that we exist in today.

[Guest Guest]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

Papi ji,

Reality is that Majority of second or third generation western Sikhs over here don't have, what it takes to succeed, compared to ancestors (migrants from India). Important decisions are made for them by parents so what's their personal achievement in life ?

It is due to the lack of knowledge, exposure & initiative that people don't change. This promotes traditional ideology that "Chor-Daku di aulaad ChorDaku hi hundi hegi" and "Slave's children can only be slave's".

Reality is what you make it !

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

[Papi]

^ I agree with you in the sense that our parents simply don't let us make mistakes! I have brought this up with my parents as well, much to their disliking as it means they were not perfect parents :rolleyes: A lot of the decisions are forced upon us by our parents and since most of us are raised with the "parents are always right" attitude, it takes a lot to break the habit.

Personally, I have no trouble doing what I want, but it seems a lot of the time I try to do that, parents throw a big fit and get offended/hurt. Perhaps it's kind of an emotional black mail (yes this has happened numerous times when I have mentioned that I don't care about caste when it comes time to finding a life partner) I really hope I don't do such things to my kids (If I have them)

[Guest Guest]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

Papi ji,

Arranging a marriage nowdays is quiet complex, caste is just a minimum requirement then comes Immigration Status, Income & Assets, Looks, Education, Family Status(reputation, number of family members) etc, can't say that being Religious has any real significance in the endless list.

Due to the expectations even Jat's and Ramgarhia's (both substantially big communities outside India) are also having little success in finding local match in their respective communities as learned from original post & rise in inter-continental marriages. So the easy, practical and only option left is to get a Punjabi bride or husband.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh