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Correct me if I am wrong but you never even had any relationship with him. All you did was talk on msn.....how could you fall in love with someone over msn....are you from India or something? No offence to people from India but I just fail to understand why you are upset considering you never went out, never dated, neverdid anything physical and never had a relationship.

People flirt over msn all the time and say lots of things which they don't mean, it doesn't mean anything so next time don't be so naive and innocent. Get over this situation, its not even a real relationshop that you should be crying over and needing help with.

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Guest Jasdeep Kaur

Mehtab Jeee, I'm in love w. your words!!

Guru dhee kirpa naal, you're an inspiring individual filled w. kindnesss

...NEVER change ? :)

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Mehtab cracks me up! Lol. Also Mehtab its true, you've been banging about on these forum for ages....you should be a mod or something. At least that way you can join the rest of the bhudai moderators!!! lol.

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Correct me if I am wrong but you never even had any relationship with him. All you did was talk on msn.....how could you fall in love with someone over msn....are you from India or something? No offence to people from India but I just fail to understand why you are upset considering you never went out, never dated, neverdid anything physical and never had a relationship.

People flirt over msn all the time and say lots of things which they don't mean, it doesn't mean anything so next time don't be so naive and innocent. Get over this situation, its not even a real relationshop that you should be crying over and needing help with.

From your post, you seem like an extremely biased individual and thats unfortunate because I asked for help from the people on the forum who I supposed were non-judgemental . Since you asked me to correct you, I will do that :)

Just because I did not have a physical relationship does not mean I didn't feel anything... or are you saying that only after doing something physical can a person have the right to love someone? You confused me there.... I guess you have a different definition of love than me. :) Also, like I said we went to the same school. We became friends over msn but I knew him in person as well. Oh and I am not from India but from UK- not that it should matter AT ALL.

I agree that people flirt over msn and I made the mistake of being ' naive and innocent' . That is the reason why the post was asking about guru's bani that can make me stronger!

And if you haven't already noticed, I am trying to get over the situation. Most importantly, Who said I am crying? I might need more support and guidance from my guru but that does not mean I am crying. There are many other things in the world to cry about than this one. If I had to cry, I would cry over how human beings love being devil's advocate instead of living in guru's hukam and helping others.

Please try to open your heart a little more and accept people who make mistakes especially if they are naive and innocent... Thank you so much for your reply! :) Sorry if I sound angry but my temper is short when it comes to biases. If you were just trying to being to back to reality by being harsh, then I apologize.

Piyare Bhanjeoo

Either Go to the Gurdwara or at home infront of a Gutka/pothi sahib do ardaas to Guru Sahib,,

Just Pour your heart out to Guru Sahib,

Surrender to Guru Sahib, Say I have no power i cant let go please free me and take away my pain and give me naam

Reading Bani will soothe ur pain and give u strength,

Take whatever happened in this situation as a very Important Lesson that u were to learn,, u should be happy u learned be4, u are my innocent little bhanay,,, that is why we have to go thru such situations so we gain wisdom of how ppl are in this world, These situations open our eyes and its one of those things u have to go thru so that it is engrained in ur mind,,

if sumone were to tell us ahead of time dont do this or that, we have a hard time listening becuz we learn from our own mistakes,,

Guru Sahib is Sad Bakhshind 4ever forgiving, just as a mother piks up her child that has gotten their clothes all dirty but she still hugs him in her embrace,,

in that way we are covered with countless sins form countless life forms

but whenever we call to Guru Sahib we are piken up from the deep pit we have digged ourselves into,

pRB kIjY ik®pw inDwn hm hir gun gwvhgy ]

prabh keejai kirapaa nidhhaan ham har gun gaavehagae ||

O God, Treasure of Mercy, please bless me, that I may sing the Glorious Praises of the Lord.

hau qumrI krau inq Aws pRB moih kb gil lwvihgy ]1] rhwau ]

ho thumaree karo nith aas prabh mohi kab gal laavehigae ||1|| rehaao ||

I always place my hopes in You; O God, when will you take me in Your Embrace? ||1||Pause||

hm bwirk mugD ieAwn ipqw smJwvihgy ]

ham baarik mugadhh eiaan pithaa samajhaavehigae ||

I am a foolish and ignorant child; Father, please teach me!

Also Listen to as much bani as u can during the day, at home in the car at the store, and even while u sleep play kirtan/bani at a lower volume

You can download tracks from this site http://gursevak.com/greebi.html which are tracks from Gareebi pothi which are a collection of realy humble lines of bani with the meanings, so listen to those or play them in your room so going in and out of your room Bani goes into your ears

<3

Advice from ur sistro

ahahah mehtab singh u crack me up :lol:

Thank you so much bhanjee! I listened to bani today and it did keep my mind on better things than just the past! :)

Ji,

There is one very powerful way that you can overcome this 'dilemma'...

However, be ware, it is so powerful, you have to be careful in its use. For the unguided mind can use it incorrectly.

If you wish to let your heart go of any pain or anguish, merely concentrate on the idea/concept/feeling,

and say to It... "I Don't Care about _____."

In order to overcome the powerful ability of the words "I Don't care" to make you absolutely

not care about the thing at hand, think about the things that you do like, and say to them

"I care about (volunteering/riding bicycle/studying for University)", and let your heart focussed

attention move to that. This will re-route your heart strings appropriately. without

destroying any and all feeling inside of you.

But be careful, as I said...

You are right! that is very strong and powerful.... I think I am going to save that as a last resort :) thank you so much for your help though! I really appreciate it.

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You are the daughter of Naasro Mansoor Sahib-E-Kamaal Kalgidhar Shahenshah Dasve Patshah Sahib Sri Guru Gobind Singh Ji Maharaj Baaja Vaali Sarkaar. If you won't be strong, then who will be? Please note that I am not calling you fat, just strong :p

You are right! Reading that made me feel so proud! I am a strong sikh and some player cannot change that!

Now on a serious note, take my word for it, if this guy was just an online MSN relationship, it may not take you long to get over him once you find your soul mate in real life, the one God has made for you. People are something else when they chat online, something else when you talk on the phone, and something totally different in reality. What you think you "fell in love with" is not exactly this person, its a combination of (1) his picture (if you ever saw it), (2) his voice (if you ever talked on the phone), (3) the stuff he talked about (which attracted you to him), and (4) the way he made you feel. Thats what you "fell in love with". Now don't stay fallen, read Gurbani and let it pump you with the strength to get up.

Bas fer balle balle! :D

I am so glad that you decided to add that serious note :p because it is so true... I will definitely leave it to God. He will take care of it after I have dealt with my karma. He really was different on msn, phone etc... and I was attracted to the things he said which I realized were all fake. If they were fake, my love was an illusion of my mind as well! I guess there is no need to be sad anymore. If he is a dishonest person who likes to lie to people then there is nothing I can do about it. All I can do is surrender myself to my guru and get strength from his bani to live my life well! Thank you sooooooo soooooo muchhhh again! :)

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To the person who called the OP naive and innocent- innocence is a godlike virtue and naivety has near to nothing to do with the situation. We don't all think like players. I've fancied a guy I talked to over msn- unless your a saint controlling love is incredibly difficult.

To the poster, I got over the msn guy by uncontrollably falling in love with a another guy I knew in person, lol 17 and the next 3 years after that were really painful because like you I didn't have a physical relationship with any of these guys but thought the love was mutual at the time.

The last one hit me the hardest and sent me to my lowest point where I didn't see the point in living anymore. Even though I knew the last guy wasn't worth it because he didn't wait for me and went off with another girl (which hurt me so much I can't describe it) I couldn't get over it- I tried every single thing I could and still thought about him day and night, still dreaming about him and hoping I'd bump into him and he'd forget the other girl and want me instead.

Then one day when I was hurting really badly, although I was anything but religious, having drank and done so many things a good sikh shouldn't, I decided to pray. I started doing jaapji sahib in the morning, reheras in the evening and kirtan sohila in the late evening, and stopped my bad habits, drinking etc. I poured my pain out to Guruji and prayed with all my heart and tears for him to fix me and my broken heart- it sounds dramatic but thats what I did, I cried and cried and prayed and prayed with love and in desperation. I know he heard because I started feeling a peace that I'd never felt before and started waking up at 4 in the morning. My life changed after that and after starting naam jaap. I'm so much stronger now and completely healed and don't let anything like that phase me.

Read gurbani and most importantly understand its meaning. Pray to GuruJi with love and surrender- use your pain, we turn to god when in pain and when he helps us regardless of how messed up and bad we are we see that he loves us unconditionally which is impossible to find in this world.

When we see that he loves us the most, we love him back, god's the only security and true love we have in this life. When we come to the end of our time on earth and everyone goes their seperate ways, (life is short and we never know when our times gonna be up, could be tomorrow!) as our souls have done in past incarnations he'll be the only one there for us so why cry for someone who is going to leave us in the end anyway.

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Mehtab Jeee, I'm in love w. your words!!

Guru dhee kirpa naal, you're an inspiring individual filled w. kindnesss

...NEVER change ? :)

Last month, my best friend from high school who talked to me after over a decade said "you haven't changed at all"...maybe he indirectly meant to say "grow up!" :umm:

Mehtab cracks me up! Lol. Also Mehtab its true, you've been banging about on these forum for ages....you should be a mod or something. At least that way you can join the rest of the bhudai moderators!!! lol.

leh, u havent been around? i was Admin for a while, then i chickened out...very difficult job!
You are right! Reading that made me feel so proud! I am a strong sikh and some player cannot change that!
Now stay strong! :cool:
I am so glad that you decided to add that serious note :p because it is so true... I will definitely leave it to God. He will take care of it after I have dealt with my karma. He really was different on msn, phone etc... and I was attracted to the things he said which I realized were all fake. If they were fake, my love was an illusion of my mind as well! I guess there is no need to be sad anymore. If he is a dishonest person who likes to lie to people then there is nothing I can do about it. All I can do is surrender myself to my guru and get strength from his bani to live my life well! Thank you sooooooo soooooo muchhhh again! :)

Now if you like, register on this forum (if you haven't already), and no need to tell anyone your profile name. Any time you have questions, you can post from your account, or use this good old Gupt forum.

Once again, Vaheguru bless you, and welcome to Sikhsangat.com

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