Forgetting The Past Relationship

[Guest Baani Kaur]

Hi,

I've been lost on how to deal with my past. I had a relationship with a gursikh and learnt he was a fake gursikh that has had many other females in his time and also done loads of sexual deeds I found this from others n then by him. He now with dating a friend of mine witch I had to lose all form of contact with as I've lost trust for her and everyone who knew him n her. However I've moved on but I'm finally getting on track with my life work and sikhi more bani I read I get stronger I can't describe the feeling that I feel I'm getting healed by all the hurt and pain I was put through.

On the other hand I have moments were I start to think or things pop in my head about my ex partner and also my ex friend that he is now with. These throughs are not good what so ever sometimes my past keeps coming up. I try so much to do simran or il start listening to Kirtan even that doesn't block stuff out.

Please sangat advice me what I could do. I think I want to take Amrit but I'm unsure.

[TuhiNirankar]

As you read Gurbani it will wash ur mind, and wash the past away,

Taking Amrit is the most beautiful thing u can do,

As u drink the Amrit that is poured into ur mouth from the punj piyare, That will get rid of that uneasiness

you have inside u, and replace it will compassion, love, trust and contentment,

wut will ur past say to u? u are taking janam again into Guru Gobind Singh jis Khalsa

waheguru waheguru

ਗੁਰੁ ਮੇਰੈ ਸੰਗਿ ਸਦਾ ਹੈ ਨਾਲੇ ॥

Gur merai sang saḏā hai nāle.

My Guru is always with me, near at hand.

ਸਿਮਰਿ ਸਿਮਰਿ ਤਿਸੁ ਸਦਾ ਸਮ੍ਹ੍ਹਾਲੇ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥

Simar simar ṯis saḏā samĥāle. ||1|| rahā▫o.

Meditating, meditating in remembrance on Him, I cherish Him forever. ||1||Pause||

Take this dukh, as daroo as medicine, And use it, Get santhiya, learn kirtan/tabla learn gatka

anything, just get urself busy learning sumthing rrelated to sikhi

ANd make sure u make frends with nice bibiya and do Bani together

[dalsingh101]

Time will play its part too. The best thing is to keep very busy and accept that thoughts of the past will appear in your mind, possibly quite strongly, for the time being. If you can, try and understand that in time the strong emotions you have right now about the past, will be very different. They will weaken and become less intense as time passes and you go through more different experiences that take your mind elsewhere.

Simran is very helpful to speed up the healing process as it makes one try to diminish thought waves. So even if currently you have thoughts that push themselves into your consciousness when meditating, keep trying to focus on what you do when meditating and they will weaken. It does require patience on your part.

Try to grasp is that healing may not be as quick as you would like, but it will happen sooner than you think.

In all of this there is also an important life lesson to learn about too. Learn it, understand it and then move on with no residual bitterness, even if it is easier said than done.

ਸੁਣਿਐ ਦੂਖ ਪਾਪ ਕਾ ਨਾਸੁ ॥੮॥

Suṇi▫ai ḏūkẖ pāp kā nās. ||8||

Listening-pain and sin are erased.

[Guest Jas Kaur]

Can you read Gurmukhi ? Do you go gurdwara regularly?

[innergear]

it is haard , u can do it though guru ius wiv u always...we must clean the mind with the baaanee and then the thoughts will be less, they will always be there, that cannot be removed, but the effect they might be having on us can be less.

Sometimes I will be sitting doing nothing, or trying to sleep and these kinds of thoughts will pop from no were. If we learn from our mistake and move on then ask for forgiveness from Guru Jee

U R not alone in this, the duniaa is filled with ppl effected by th e past but Guru Baanee has blessed us with answers

[GyanParbodh]

What you need to do is let go, when your mind comes up with thoughts of the past don't try and fight them or go deeper into them, let them float and disappear without judgement. Bringing thoughts about the past into the present moment fortifies the pain of an event and makes it more likely that that memory will come up more regularly. It causes us to re-experience the pain, and it reinforces the tendency to dwell on such thoughts and keep the pain going. The mind will chew on such things like a dog on a bone, refusing to let go. But unlike a bone, these memories can never be fully chewed and digested by thinking about them, this merely ensures the perpetuation of pain.

The only way the pain from the past can be stopped is through a conscious act of will to not dwell on painful memories when they arise. Dwelling on them only creates a painful present. We are free to choose this, of course, and many do for a very long time. But this is exhausting, and it destroys relationships. Do you want love more than revenge or self-righteousness or drama or pain? The ego actually doesn't, but Essence does. When we are able to find that place within us that is willing to forgive and forget, then love is possible, no matter what has happened.

[REDRUM]

I had a relationship with a gursikh and learnt he was a fake gursikh that has had many other females in his time

Tbh you could of saved yourself from all this.. Obviously he was a fake because GURSIKHS DON'T DO DATING DOOTING! So please don't say he was a fake gursikh he wasn't EVEN ONE. You shouldn't be dating anyway..

[Guest singh8]

Tbh you could of saved yourself from all this.. Obviously he was a fake because GURSIKHS DON'T DO DATING DOOTING! So please don't say he was a fake gursikh he wasn't EVEN ONE. You shouldn't be dating anyway..

True say!

[Guest kaur]

u need to forgive both of them and then let them get on wiv thier lives and u get on wiv urs.

[Guest friendship]

I agree with this girl^^

What I feel when I think of these two is pity. The poor woman has to live with the guy and if she was your friend she should not be with him any way. Believe me she is no friend of yours, I would never even contemplate being with one of my friends ex's.

And the guy, unless he's really made up for his deeds, is destined for hell- so instead of being angry or upset feel compassion.